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SATURN 3 (1980) DVD/Blu-ray Review

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Saturn 3 (1980) d. Stanley Donen (UK)

A pair of botanists (Farrah Fawcett, Kirk Douglas), manning an experimental agricultural outpost on one of Saturn’s moons, is visited by a stiff-necked military gent (Harvey Keitel) bearing lots of attitude and a revolutionary new robot, Hector. Powered by strange colored liquids, electricity, and a huge tube of human gray matter, the android is designed to replace one or both of the current residents to increase productivity and feed a starving Mother Earth. But, as so often happens in movies of this sort, malfunctions occur during the programming stage – turns out our metal guest has a direct feed into the roughneck’s psychopathic nature, and both have a yen for the fairer sex. With communications blocked due to a solar eclipse, the battle of man vs. machine vs. man will be waged for the love of a beautiful blonde.


Like another recent Shout! Factory release, Saturn 3 suffered a troubled creative genesis and eleventh-hour censoring, resulting in critical drubbing and commercial disappointment upon its unveiling in early 1980. But in spite of its idiosyncrasies and occasional sub-par visual effects (more on both of those later), this overblown B-movie still manages to hold up as a good old-fashioned killer-robot-on-the-loose thriller, with substantial star-power and one gnarly looking cybernemesis.


The story was originally conceived by Oscar-winning production designer John Barry (Star Wars, Superman), who took his idea to Yvette Mimieux, then-wife of celebrated producer/director Stanley Donen (Singin’ in the Rain, Bedazzled, Charade). Donen was pleased with the concept, and volunteered to produce with Barry slated to make his directorial debut. However, due to conflicts with his strong-willed cast (Douglas was particularly tough on the rookie helmsman), Donen was obliged to visit the set more and more often to keep things on track. Barry, feeling pressured, scrutinized, and frustrated over the rushed schedule for such an f/x-heavy shoot, left the picture, whereupon Donen took over directing duties and completed the film.


However, during post-production, the veteran decided that he wasn’t pleased with Keitel’s American accent and secured acclaimed British thespian Roy Dotrice to entirely re-dub him! (During my first viewing in the mid-80s, I marveled at how different the Mean Streets/Taxi Driver star sounded from his usual Brooklynese tough guy roles. It wasn’t until this most recent viewing that I learned why.)


To everyone’s credit, it is a technically excellent vocal performance – if you didn’t know it was an ADR job, you probably wouldn’t think twice about it. In retrospect, it was and remains a curious artistic decision. (In an interview among the disc’s many special features, Dotrice reveals that the whole recording session was knocked out in a few hours before lunch, but that he never really knew why he got the call and Keitel got the boot.)


Colin Chilvers, who had just won the special effects Oscar for Superman, was in charge of making movie magic, and he, Barry, and powerhouse art director Stuart Craig (who served as production designer here) are credited with the final Hector design, based on Leonardo da Vinci drawings. Costing more than a million dollars, there were several versions of the robot (or cyborg, technically, since there is organic matter involved), including a suit that an actor could ambulate, along with remote control arms, hands, neck and “head.”


In addition to their main star, there are some imaginative cityscapes featuring upside down gravity rooms, flights over the moon’s surface, and several matte paintings that recall (perhaps too much) Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey.




There’s also a shocking airlock murder sequence in the first 10 minutes that is impressively restrained yet splattery.


The Charlie’s Angel bombshell was nominated for a Razzie Award for Worst Actress of 1980 for her top-billed role, and it’s true that her wide-eyed naiveté doesn’t really jive with her supposed scientific brilliance. However, she remains an appealing presence, and her take on the character fits the given circumstances. With Douglas’ overbearing machismo and condescending tone, it makes absolute sense for her to ostensibly remain a child in his presence.


On that note, much was made in the press of the substantial age difference between the 64-year-old Douglas and his sexy co-star, who celebrated her 32nd birthday on set. This certainly wasn’t the first May-December romance to unfurl before the cameras, and Douglas (and his character) goes to great lengths to demonstrate his masculinity in order to “deserve” his place in Fawcett’s bed.


There’s no doubt that in spite of his advanced years, this is a M-A-N, and the star isn’t shy about showing off his slightly sagging-but-still impressive backside during an, ahem, awkward scuffle with his quarter-century-younger onscreen rival Keitel.


Fawcett was also persuaded – through Donen’s encouragement and Douglas’ bullying – to show some skin and wear a few racy outfits (including a Barbarella number in a scene that was ultimately cut from the finished film, but exists intact as a special feature).




Shout! Factory has done a stupendous job of remastering the film and packing its DVD/BR release with bells and whistles galore. In addition to the excised scene mentioned above and the Dotrice interview, Chilvers is on hand to discuss the various effects and challenges they presented. During the course of the 15-minute featurette, we learn a wealth of information, including that the SPX budget was unexpectedly slashed when production company ITC’s money pit Raise the Titanic needed additional funds.


We’re also treated to over 10 minutes of additional footage from the network television premiere (some of which nicely flesh out plot and character), an impressive publicity stills gallery, the theatrical trailer and two television spots.





The jewel in the cybernetic crown is the audio commentary track with critic David Bradley and Greg Moss of Something Is Wrong on Saturn 3 (saturn3makingof.com), chock full of facts and behind-the-scenes scuttlebutt. Moss is a longtime enthusiast of the film, and while he’s quick to point out its flaws (primarily the work of novelist Martin Amis, making his screenwriting debut), just as much attention is given to what Donen and his able cast/crew get right.


There’s no denying it’s an uneven sci-fi outing, with Fawcett’s airhead, Douglas’ gritty, grizzled hero, and Keitel’s near-automaton authority figure seemingly from three different movies, but the stellar art direction and Hector’s memorably possessive and persistent robot anchor hold our attention throughout. In many ways, it recalls the classic black-and-white programmers of the 50s and 60s (with a bit more flesh and blood), and fans of that particular milieu should find plenty to enjoy.


Saturn 3is available now from Shout! Factory and can be ordered HERE.

http://www.shoutfactory.com/product/saturn-3


--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

THE ATOMIC BRAIN (1963) movie review

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Atomic Brain, The (aka Monstrosity) (1963) d. Mascelli, Joseph (USA)

A mysterious scientist (Frank Gerstle) is revealed to be messing around with mysterious practices in his aging landlady’s Los Angeles basement, the ultimate goal being to transplant her gray matter into a fresh new body. To this purpose, they have sought out the services of three international housemaids/potential donors, hailing from Mexico (Lisa Lang), Austria (Erika Peters) and jolly olde England (Judy Bamber).


Once she’s got them inside, the flinty old biddy (Marjorie Eaton) decides she’ll take the buxom blonde model from the land of fish ‘n’ chips, keeping the Teuton on hold as a back-up and rejecting La Senorita outright due to an unsightly birthmark. (Our darker-hued lass ends up becoming yet another guinea pig, or rather guinea cat, as the case may be.)


Falling somewhere on the goofy scale between the failed experiments staggering around the grounds and the dodgy science (a human brain inside a feline skull???) are the recent émigrés’ accents, ranging from nonexistent to gratingly awful.


Bountifully bonkers and blessedly brief (64 min.), with only Xerxes the Cat escaping with his self respect reasonably intact.

DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN (1972) movie review

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Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein (aka Dracula contra Frankenstein) (1972) d. Franco, Jess (Spain)

This is Franco in his “I ain’t got no money, but I got some actors and a castle to play in” prime. The “script” makes absolutely no sense at all, with Dr. Frankenstein (Dennis Price) deciding to revive Dracula (Howard Vernon) for no other reason than to, um, have a vampire around? Somehow, this is also supposed to prove that he has mastered the bridge between life and death, but he also delights in the fact that the Count seeks out a semi-crazed artist (Genevieve Robert) and turns her into an undead as well. (As one of my fellow viewers noted, “That guy writes 'Success!' on every page of his diary.”)


There’s also a random vampire chick (Britt Nichols) running around that no one ever seems to take notice of, even though her coffin is located right next to the others. Meanwhile, Dr. Seward (Alberto Dalbes) is trying to put the old bloodsucker back in his grave, having already staked the bad guy in the opening reel – a hilarious sequence that results in a shot of a small furry vampire bat impaled on a huge wooden stake.




Price mumbles to himself throughout, frantically throwing switches on his cryptic machine filled with wires and buttons and random lights, while Vernon sits glassy-eyed with mouth ajar to display his sharpened chompers. (“Hey, those things weren’t cheap! Let’s show ‘em off!”) Oh, there’s also a Frankenstein’s Monster who gets to go a few rounds with an equally random werewolf.


Our unsung heroes end up being the low-rent gypsies that come to Seward’s aid after he gets clobbered by the stitchy one, chanting chants and rolling bones until the final credits mercifully come along.

FRANKENSTEIN'S ISLAND (1981) movie review

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Frankenstein's Island (1981) d. Jerry Warren (USA)

When you see a cast list comprised of Steve Brodie (The Giant Spider Invasion), Robert Clarke (The Hideous Sun Demon), Cameron Mitchell (Toolbox Murders, Silent Scream) and John Carradine (every movie ever made), your optimism might rise in spite of - or because of - the low IMDb rating (1.9!) and the presence of below-decks dreck merchant Jerry Warren. Lest ye be fooled, as I was, heede my warning: Abandon all hope and brain cells, ye who enter heere.


A quartet of balloonists (led by Clarke) crash on a secluded island and find a tribe of comely Amazons (referred to as “alien girls”), an encampment of more “civilized” inhabitants led by the great-granddaughter of, you guessed it, Dr. Frankenstein (played by Carradine, only appearing in a superimposed halo, so who knows what movie he thought he was making). Mitchell mumbles and stumbles through his role as a Poe-quoting prisoner who gets his blood tapped every so often to keep Dr. Von Helsing alive.


Brodie is a drunken assistant who laughs uproariously before and after every line of dialogue. (Whether a brave character choice or merely the actor’s everyday approach to life, the world will never know.) There are zombie slaves, unexplained magnetic forces that attack people’s wrists, a flailing piecemeal monster that shows up in the final reel to knock a few tables over, exotic Amazon dancing, and a Benji impersonator (or in-dog-anator) to keep things limping along, with Carradine bellowing from his optically printed window every few minutes to prevent you from nodding off.


Ineptitude of the highest level that somehow fails to be entertaining even on a WTF scale. Gah.

THE LOCH NESS HORROR (1981) movie review

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Loch Ness Horror, The (1981) d. Larry Buchanan (USA)

Buchanan, having given us The Eye Creatures, The Naked Witch, and Zontar, the Thing from Venus, rings down the curtain on his genre efforts with this sublimely awful adventuRRRRRRRe yaRRRRRRRRn of a bRRRRRRash young AmeRRRRican (Barry Buchanan, son of Himself) coming to Scotland with his newfangled sonaRRRRRR to discoveRRRRRR the tRRRRRRuth behind the mysteRRRRRRy of the monsteRRRRRRR known as Nessie. He is aided in his effoRRRRRts by a bRRRRRave young lass (Miki McKenzie), heRRRRR gRRRRRRRouchy old gRRRRRAndfatheRRRRRR (Doc Livingston), and a local natuRRRRRalist (Sandy Kenyon), all of whom have wildly vaRRRRRRRying degRRRRRees of Scottish bRRRRRougue.


The monster design by special mechanical effects dynamo Peter Chesney (Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, Pet Sematary, Tremors II) is actually pretty sweet, considering the clear budget restraints, topped by some entirely illogical but still charming smoke that billows from the beast’s mouth on a regular basis. It’s still a far cry from the goofy puppets populating Amicus’ The Land That Time Forgot, but it’s awful cute in its earnestness. Chesney recycled Nessie for a brief cameo in 1987's Amazon Women on the Moon. (pictured below)



There’s precious little horror and/or monster action, especially when compared to the raft of trilling exposition shoveled into viewers’ ears, but when the long-necked one bloodily attacks a greedy opportunist (Stuart Lancaster, featured in numerous Russ Meyer efforts such as Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Up!) trying to steal her egg, it makes it all okay for about two minutes. Oh, and let’s not forget Livingston’s magic telescope, which somehow allows one to see everything from the top of a plane in flight through the mountains to a close-up of a diver on the loch’s surface.

Fool's Views (11/25 - 12/1) (with Turkey!)

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Howdy, folks,

With HIDDEN HORROR is about to take flight, Noises Off destroying Milwaukee audiences with unfettered hilarity, and a certain holiday celebrating thankfulness (followed by the annual pilgrimage to Kitley’s Krypt to assault eyes, brains, and stomachs known as Turkey Day), it turned out to be a good week for the Views. Like any self-respecting Thanksgiving feast, a balanced menu of horror and civilian offerings left me satisfied and built up my appetite for the remainder of the year. Doubtful we’ll reach to our usual 400+ films/year ratio, but I’m confident we’ll break 300; considering the bounty of offscreen adventures in 2013, that’s a tally I can live with.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!



HORROR:


Horror Show, The (1989) d. Isaac, James (USA) (1st and 2nd viewings)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***









TURKEY DAY:

 


Atomic Brain, The (aka Monstrosity) (1963) d. Mascelli, Joseph (USA) (1st viewing)
(IMDb rating 2.5)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***







Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein (1972) d. Franco, Jess (Spain) (1st viewing)
(IMDb rating 3.5)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***







Loch Ness Horror, The (1981) d. Buchanan, Larry (USA) (1st viewing)
(IMDb rating 2.4)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***








Frankenstein's Island (1981) d. Warren, Jerry (USA) (1st viewing)
(IMDb rating 1.9)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





CIVILIAN:


Better Off Dead... (1985) d. Holland, Savage Steve (USA) (1st viewing)

Some might be shocked that I was only catching this goofy teen comedy for the first time, but if there’s a gaping hole in my cinematic makeup, it’s goofy comedies from the 1980s. (I’d become familiar with the iconic “I want my two dollars!” line through osmosis, but hadn’t experienced it firsthand.) What I found most striking for a relatively mainstream release was how unabashedly bizarre it was – the jokes aren’t even jokes, but rather sophomoric ideas that one might come up with sitting around with friends. “What if mom served some gooey glop for dinner and it crawled off your plate? What if John Cusack was so obsessed with his girlfriend Amanda Wyss that he had photos of her face on all of his clothes hangers? What if the windows on the garage kept getting broken? What if the obnoxious next door neighbor had a fat slob son that she was trying to hook up with French exchange student Diane Franklin?” and so on. The title springs from Cusack’s depression over losing Wyss to hunky ski stud Aaron Dozier and a few half-hearted suicide attempts. Overall, I’m not unhappy I saw it, but it doesn’t merit any kind of “lost classic” status. (And that awful '80s soundtrack? BLARGH).





Pulp Fiction (1994) d. Tarantino, Quentin (USA) (4th viewing)

Hadn’t seen QT’s Palme d’Or winner in over a decade and I gotta say, it holds up even better than expected considering all the imitators spawned in its wake. The former video store clerk’s penchant for crackling dialogue about everyday matters and fragmented narrative – elements of his Reservoir Dogs breakout two years prior – come to full flower with a cast of Hollywood veterans (John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Uma Thurman, Eric Stoltz, Rosanna Arquette, Harvey Keitel) used to extremely fine effect. Playful and violent, chatty and chummy, we come to enjoy the company of these characters set to the beat of a memorable collection of pop tunes. This may be the flick that gave birth to the egomaniacal monster that is The Tarantino, but it just might have been worth it.





TODD HAYNES TWO-FER:


Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (1988) d. Haynes, Todd (USA) (1st viewing)


I'm Not There (2007) d. Haynes, Todd (USA) (1st viewing)

Two unique films with unique ideas that both go on too long to sustain interest. Haynes’ eye-catching short depicting the wholesome 70s songbird’s downward spiral brought on by anorexia nervosa almost entirely through the use of Barbie dolls is cute, innovative, and surprisingly earnest. But the novelty wears off after about 25 minutes, unfortunate since viewers still have another 20 clunky minutes to sit through. By contrast, Haynes and co-screenwriter Oren Moverman's (The Messenger, Rampart) device of having six wildly diverse actors play different incarnations of music legend Bob Dylan is extraordinary and extraordinarily polished. Again, however, he travels the same ground longer than necessary – had the bloated 135 behemoth been trimmed of its excess fat, I probably would have declared it a masterpiece. Instead, we watch Cate Blanchett (Oscar-nominated for her gender bending turn), Ben Whishaw, Christian Bale, Marcus Carl Franklin, Richard Gere, and Heath Ledger all inhabit characters (or splintered versions of the same character) that never change or grow, taxing our patience for both the movie and its subject.


2013 Totals to date: 281 films, 223 1st time views, 174 horror, 69 cinema

THE INITIATION OF SARAH (1978) DVD review

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Initiation of Sarah, The (1978) d. Robert Day (USA)

It's easy to see why this this late-'70s TV-movie has been historically categorized as a low-fi rip-off of Brian De Palma's stellar screen version of Carrie, released two years prior to much critical and commercial acclaim. Both feature ugly duckling female teen protagonists with pyschic abilities, both have snotty popular cliques tormenting our hapless heroine, both have "beautiful swan" moments that end in humiliation, and both conclude with fiery climaxes of death and destruction. It's probably not too much of a stretch to say that the walking orders for screenwriters Don Ingalls, Kenette Gfeller, and Carol Saraceno (who wrote the original screen story with genre veteran-to-be Tom Holland) were to "crank out something along the lines of Stephen King's novel while making enough changes to avoid any legal proceedings." That said, The Initiation of Sarah still manages to be a fairly entertaining slice of mainstream fright fare.


Sarah (Kay Lenz), a plain Jane wallflower-type, and Patty (Morgan Brittany), her attractive and popular stepsister, have just graduated from high school and are heading off to college together. Patty's social-climber mother (7th Voyage of Sinbad's Kathryn Grant) pushes her daughter to pledge her old sorority house, Alpha Neu Sigma, in order to curry favor with the next generation of social climbers, while dismissing Sarah as "not ANS material." In fact, of all the sororities pledged, only the brainiacs and misfits of Phi Epsilon Delta accept Sarah as one of their own.


Separated for the first time, the wedge is further driven between the two sisters by the catty ANS ringleader, Jennifer (a perfectly plastic Morgan Fairchild, making her TV-movie debut), and PED's mysteriously malevolent house mother, Miss Hunter (Shelley Winters, in prime hag-horror mode). Tensions escalate between the two houses during the prolonged hazing period, with Miss Hunter's dark occult past bringing out the worst in Sarah's growing telekinetic tendencies.


Within the limitations of its presumably miniscule budget, Brit director Robert Day (who possesses some worthy early genre credits, including 1956's The Green Man, The Haunted Strangler, Corridors of Blood and Hammer's She with Ursula Andress) wrings a worthy amount of suspense and character from his likable cast.


Sarah's psychic bursts are preceded by varying Dutch-angled zooming freeze frames, allowing for a cheesy but enjoyably so moment of "oh, boy, here it comes" even if the results aren't nearly as flashy (a piano load-bearing rope snaps, a bitchy sorority girl flipping backward into a pool, a mirror shattering). Speaking of flashing, there is a rather racy (for TV) sequence with Fairchild and Brittany trapped in a scalding shower stall that titillates even as it raises titters.


The performances are all capable enough, with Lenz a relatable and sympathetic lead - not nearly as pathetic and sheltered as Sissy Spacek's Carrie White, Lenz's Sarah is a pleasant if shy oddball who blossoms under the mutual companionship of others within her less-popular station. Brittany is engaging and sweet, a victim of her own attractive demeanor, and it's nice that the screenwriters never feel obliged to turn her into a monster. She's just a confused young lady learning to navigate the social waters.


Winters is absolutely terrific in her slow bubbling descent into madness, seeing Lenz as the vehicle to do her dark master's bidding. Fairchild, for all her stereotypical mean girl antics, does a fine job as an immature monster - one gets the sense that she's still learning the full measure of her powers, much like Lenz. Robert Hays, who would star in Airplane! two years later, seems miscast as Fairchild's stud boyfriend with a delayed conscience, but veteran character actor-turned-director Tony Bill does solid work as a student teacher who catches Sarah's eye. Genre fans should also keep an eye out for Tisa Farrow (Lucio Fulci's Zombie) and Talia Balsam (David Schmoeller's Crawlspace) as Lenz's housemates.


In a bizarre programming twist, Shout! Factory has paired The Initiation of Sarah with that same year's Are You in the House Alone?) for their bare-bones double-feature disc, TV Terrors. For aficionados of small screen screams, it's an unfortunate choice since the latter is not a horror film at all but rather an examination of high school rape in a small town, notable primarily for showcasing a young Dennis Quaid. Considering the wealth of worthwhile made-for-TV '70s fright flicks, Shout! Factory's decision is a puzzling and/or lazy one - I'd be curious to hear their rationale for the team-up. (Unless, perhaps, someone was crying out for a 1978 Tony Bill two-fer?)


Nevertheless, Sarah is worth your time (as is House, for that matter, as long as you know what you're in for) and for this viewer's money, even preferable to the recent big-budget Hollywood Carrie redux.

To order TV Terrors, visit the Shout! Factory website.

http://www.shoutfactory.com/product/scream-factory-presents-tv-terrors-double-feature

THE BEAST WITHIN (1982) Blu-ray Review

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Beast Within, The (1982) d. Philippe Mora (USA)

Lensed before (but released after) the shapeshifting one-two punch of The Howling and An American Werewolf in London, this bladder-blasting freakshow first entered my consciousness – as it did for many a youthful fright fan – via its terrifying and evocative poster art. (If anyone knows who the artist is, please drop me a line and let me know!) I assumed, as many did, that it was another lycanthrope movie, only to find out years later that the titular beast was, ahem, a giant were-cicada.


Despite this more-than-a-little-silly plot device, promising young director Mora managed to wrangle an estimable cast (consisting of Ronny Cox, Bibi Besch, L.Q. Jones, Don Gordon, R.G. Armstrong, Luke Askew, and Meshach Taylor) and makeup FX superstar Tom Burman (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, My Bloody Valentine, Halloween III, and many, many more) to realize rookie screenwriter Tom Holland’s bizarre vision, with surprisingly effective and chilling results. You know, for a movie where a confused teenager is exhibiting cannibalistic tendencies whilst turning into a giant katydid, that is.


Holland, who started off as an actor, had been a genre fan from youth, so when he decided to start writing scripts, he naturally began with the spooky stuff. As the scribe explains on the new Shout! Factory Blu-ray release, producer Harvey Bernhard (hot off the success of The Omen and its 1978 sequel) secured the rights for a yet-to-be-written novel by Edward Levy. Not one to wait around, Bernhard told Holland to write a story based around the title and a transformation sequence; the young writer hit upon the 17-year life cycle of the cicada and how it might correspond with a teenager’s maturation.


He then combined this with a Lovecraftian village full of dark secrets and hidden sects (many of the characters’ names are inspired by the renowned author’s stories, including “Dexter Ward” or “Edwin Curwin”), added dollops of Native American spiritualism, cannibalism, and a dash of interspecies rape to conjure up a very original and bizarre freakfest.


Under Mora’s steady hand, the veteran cast sell the hokum with an impressive amount of gravitas, with Paul Clemens going for broke in the lead role, spraying foaming and blood with gusto. Les Baxter also turns in a terrific score, one of his last and best, while Jack L. Richards’ cinematography peers around fog-shrouded trees and dark mortuary corners, chilling viewers to the marrow.


While Beast fans probably already own the original bare bones MGM release (either solo or paired with The Bat People), the new disc’s main attractions is its two commentary tracks, one with Mora and Clemens while the other reunites Holland with his Psycho II mike-mate, Robert V. Galluzzo (The Psycho Legacy). Unfortunately, only one of these manages to be successful – Mora and Clemens gamely banter throughout, sharing a multitude of memories and stories from the trenches. Even though they occasionally cut off each other’s stories (the actor is often breaking in to point out various props and costume pieces that he still owns), they prove to be vibrant and informed viewing companions.


In sharp contrast, it quickly becomes clear that neither Galluzzo nor Holland have seen the movie any time recently and as such spend the majority of the time watching the movie along with us. Holland openly states during the opening credits that he wasn’t a fan of the film upon release and hasn’t seen it in years; 100 minutes later, he admits that it holds up a lot better than he thought and that he likes it now! But during that hour and a half, he spends an inordinate amount of energy complaining about all the things that were in his original script that the “powers-that-be” removed...only to discover that, nope, everything he’s bitching about being excised is ACTUALLY IN THE MOVIE.


I spent nearly the entire running time going, “No, Tom, that’s still in there. That too. And that. And...Rob??? Are you going to say anything?  Please???” Truly, one of the more frustrating tracks I’ve listened to in a while (barring Alexandra Holzer’s vacant Amityville II whinging back in September). It does make one wonder whether Shout! Factory’s head honchos even listen to these things before letting them out of the barn. Hello? Quality control?

This reviewer listening to the Tom Holland commentary.

This supplementary stumble aside (although I'll also admit to being a little disappointed at the lack of captioning for several of their new releases.  Show a little love to the deaf and hard-of-hearing horror fans out there, yes?)The Beast Within is a wingding creature feature that absolutely deserves a place in your favorite monster kid's stocking this Christmas.

Available now for purchase from Shout! Factory HERE 

http://www.shoutfactory.com/product/beast-within

 
--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine


CRAWLSPACE (1986) Blu-ray review

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Crawlspace (1986) d. David Schmoeller (USA)

Despite having the estimable FX talents of John Carl Beuchler and John Vulich among the ranks, the greatest special effect in this mid-80s shocker from executive producer Charles Band’s Empire Pictures is its wackadoo headliner, Klaus Kinski. The Poland-born star commands every onscreen moment as the offspring of a notorious Nazi doctor, now living a quiet life as the landlord of a apartment building who spends his times spying on his exclusively female tenants and every so often – when they get too nosey – bumping them off with elaborate mechanical traps. Each murder is followed by a round of Russian Roulette, and – after clicking upon an empty chamber – the chilling whisper, “So be it.” Out goes the “For Rent” sign and in come the fresh victims.


Crawlspace represented Schmoeller’s return to Empire, having made his feature film debut with 1979’s criminally underrated Tourist Trap. After dabbling with other Hollywood independents (via Bud Cardos’ The Day Time Ended and Irwin Yablans’ 1982 thriller The Seduction starring Morgan Fairchild), the writer/director traveled to Italy and cranked out several moderate smashes during Band’s heyday, including Catacombs and Puppetmaster. As he recounts on the audio commentary track (and the short filmPlease Kill Mr. Kinski, also included in Shout! Factory’s just-released Blu-ray), the working environment was less than ideal for Schmoeller’s third feature, with his tempestuous leading man throwing tantrums and refusing direction on any level, forbidding the director to use fundamental words such as “Action,” “Cut,” or even “Klaus.”


Under such adverse circumstances, it's a testament to the star’s magnetic presence and Schmoeller’s tenacity and craftsmanship that the picture is such a rousing low-budget success. A B-movie through and through, it moves like a freight train (or more accurately, like a Teutonic madman on a rolling plank) and has such energy and creative flair that you’d never guess that the crew were openly muttering plans to murder Kinski louder and louder with every passing day.


The cast of female ingénues, which include Talia Balsam (Martin Balsam’s daughter), Tane McClure (Doug McClure’s daughter, billed here as Tané), Barbara Whinnery, and Carole Francis, are engaging and personable body-counts-to-be, while Kenneth Robert Shippey is memorable as a mysterious stranger tracking Kinski down for earlier misdeeds. Pino Donaggio delivers his usual marvelous assemblage of notes, while Lucio Fulci’s favorite lensman, Sergio Salvati, creeps high and low along narrow passageways, even delivering several delicious Spielbergian dolly-zooms.


Besides the glorious widescreen presentation and remastered audio, the real treats are listening to Schmoeller unfold the tales of behind-the-scenes mayhem. His nine-minute short Please Kill Mr. Kinski (which I’ve been enjoying it for years via YouTube) is hilarious, but it’s only the tip of the proverbial iceberg, as revealed on his commentary. Over the film’s 80 minutes, we are handed down tale after tale of the impossible on-set working relationship, where one never knew who Klaus was going to unload on next, when, or for what.


As we listen, we develop an immense amount of sympathy and respect for Schmoeller, but also realize just how much a magnificent performer, sane or not, can elevate a motion picture. For someone who apparently refused to be directed, and had to be coddled and coaxed every step of the way, Kinski inhabits his sleazy, cheesy role so completely as to be a thing of wonder. Schmoeller puts it best in his short’s closing moments: “...what a compelling actor he was...how great he was to watch. He really was great to watch.”


Other supplementals include the theatrical trailer and TV spots, as well as a fun featurette with Vulich who shares his own Kinski experiences.


Crawlspace is available now from Shout! Factory and can be purchased HERE

http://www.shoutfactory.com/product/crawlspace



--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

Interview with THE BATTERY director Jeremy Gardner!!

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Every so often, horror fans encounter an independent venture that make us want to collectively stand up and cheer. Writer/star Jeremy Gardner’s directorial debut, The Battery, is one of those films. (http://www.thebatterymovie.com)

Forget the zombie trappings. Forget that it was made for $6K. Forget that it contains no major stars or studio backing or that you probably never heard of it before it started showing up on everyone’s “Best of 2013” lists. Just watch and revel in the breathtaking creativity, intelligence, resilience and filmmaking savvy on display. The Battery is the kind of microbudget horror effort that provides as much offscreen inspiration as it does onscreen entertainment.


Ben (Gardner) and Mickey (Adam Cronheim) are two former professional baseball players surviving the eponymous zombie outbreak by existing on the outskirts of New England. They stay off the main roads and never sleep indoors. They fish and hunt and gather for food. But in spite of their common cause, these two weary travelers couldn’t be less alike. Ben is a slovenly, bearded, earthy and practical sort whereas Mickey is sensitive and lonely, taking sonic refuge in his ever-present CD player and headphones to retain a sense of normalcy. Though teammates, the two were never “friends” before the world fell apart; they stick together now more out of habit and because companion choices are, well, limited.  This odd couple drifts across the countryside, occasionally dealing with the undead but more often simply passing the time with conversation about what was, what is, and where their next destination will be (which, since Ben never believes in staying anywhere more than a day, is a constant). But then one day the duo finds an abandoned walkie-talkie with disembodied voices emanating from “The Orchard,” a discovery that will have unexpected consequences.

The practice of independent horror filmmakers taking to the woods is nothing new – fewer permits required and production values automatically boosted – but thanks to Gardner’s insightful observations about human interaction, what goes spoken and unspoken between our two main characters provides much more food for thought than the average undead fare.  From a removed critical viewpoint, all we’re looking at is two guys wandering through various isolated locales. But within the context of the story, this isolation speaks to the chasm between individuals and society as a whole.  


Brainless thrills are few and far between, with the zombies kept to the margins, more atmosphere than antagonists.  Ryan Winford’s original score provides a terrific moody bed within to couch the haunting or benign visuals, punctuated by a blend of evocative songs piped through Mickey’s headphones. In the same manner, DP Christian Stella utilizes an instinctive sense for sustaining an image or shot, with co-editors Alicia Stella and Michael Katzman embracing the non-ADD aesthetic.  The approach, as it turns out, yields a more effective breed of tension than a dozen Hollywood flutter-cut action sequences.

On the eve of the film’s October screening at the prestigious Sitges Film Festival, I spoke with Gardner to discuss inspiration, collaboration, and the mother of invention.  (*portions of this interview originally appeared in HorrorHound #44)



Aaron Christensen:  I know you’ve told this story on the Battery website (http://www.thebatterymovie.com), but tell us about the means by which you developed the idea and then set about raising funds for the film.  It’s a rather inspiring tale.

Jeremy Gardner:  Well, the idea began as an audition video I made for a website that was casting a horror feature. I didn’t want to do a straight monologue to camera, so I ended up making a little three-minute short about two friends documenting their day-to-day life in a post-apocalyptic, zombie-infested world. I actually thought it was quite the clever little short, and I am still in the process of trying to track down the original file. Needless to say, I was not cast in what ultimately became Perkins’ 14, but I couldn’t get the idea of two buddies just sort of living their lives after such a catastrophe. There was something interesting about approaching the subject in a more laid-back manner. I didn’t think the genre had to be so kinetic and constantly moving, I imagined there would be a hell of a lot more down time than is usually depicted in zombie movies and I was interested in exploring that kind of clock-less monotony.

Once I started developing the script, I knew I wanted to make it for an insanely small amount of money, so the budget actually helped inform the writing. I knew it would be cheap to film in the woods, with very few actors, and so that made story sense as well. If the world is infested with zombies, there are going to be more of them where the majority of the population lived, so any smart survivor is going to stay as rural as possible. That revelation also helped inform the look of the movie, because then you are surrounding yourself with all this beautiful greenery, and immediately you have a very lush zombie movie instead of your classic, burned-out, gray urban wasteland. 

As far as actually raising the money, I just asked ten friends for $600 apiece in exchange for a small stake in the film. I didn’t want any one person to lose too much if the movie failed. Luckily, I have generous friends. 



AC: Did you write the parts with yourself and Adam in mind?

JG:  I was always going to play Ben. I was an actor before I ever had aspirations as a filmmaker. Adam, however, came into the process very late. A month before we were to shoot, I still hadn’t cast Mickey.  Christian, my best friend and DP, threatened to pull out if I didn’t cast someone immediately. Coincidentally, one of the friends who invested told me he knew a guy who played baseball in college, blown out his arm, and turned to acting. It was ridiculous that he hadn’t mentioned him before! I met with Adam and basically just gave him the role. There was no audition process; I actually just went to a park with him and we brought our mitts, and he very clearly knew his way around a baseball. That was actually very important to me. I didn’t want to get saddled with an Anthony Perkins in Fear Strikes Out, where the guy looks like he doesn’t know whether to throw the baseball or bite it like an apple. So, we played catch, talked about my vision for the movie and his role, and that was it. 


AC: Why baseball players?

JG: I love baseball so much.  It is strange because my love for the game is at odds with a lot of my geek sensibilities; I find myself having to defend or explain that element of the movie a lot to horror writers and fans. But it is such a romantic game, so perfectly designed. Part of it was my desire to play a baseball player. Another was it seemed an obvious way to make them two different people who have to rely on one another. A pitcher and a catcher, a finesse position and a brute position. The battery is an old-timers baseball term for the tandem of those two players. The pitcher and the catcher are the battery of a baseball team.  




AC: Your approach to the overcrowded zombie genre was to keep the undead in the periphery - were you ever concerned that viewers would be put off by this approach?
 
JG: Of course. Taking the one thing that makes a zombie movie a zombie movie—the zombies—and purposely putting them on the fringes is risky. But I was very committed to making a genre movie about the characters. I repeatedly told everyone to trust me, that the gatekeepers and taste-makers of the horror world would understand what we were trying to do. I felt very confident that genre fans would appreciate a movie where they actually cared about the people more than the monsters.  We had to keep reminding ourselves that that was our goal, especially during the edit, where we actually cut about four or five more featured zombies from the movie for one reason or another.



AC: The eclectic songs become almost chapter headings, or even characters unto themselves.  Can you talk about the process of choosing the tunes and where they were placed throughout the film?  (http://www.thebatterymovie.com/music/)

JG: Well, I have been a fan of the Canadian folk-rock outfit Rock Plaza Central for years, so when we cut together a pre-production locations video, we put a couple of their songs in just to spice it up. The lead singer, Chris Eaton saw the video on Twitter and thought it was cool and actually tweeted at me asking whether we planned to use the music in the film as well. It really wasn’t something that occurred to me as possible. I always thought getting music clearance for such a low budget movie would be next to impossible. But he was all about it and put us in touch with his label in the U.S. and they were so generous. We told them how small we were and they gave us the rights to the songs for next to nothing

That really opened up a motif that I hadn’t actually thought to explore, which was to use Mickey’s headphones to score the film. It made so much sense, to help put the audience in his head. There was initially some resistance to using songs because it was thought that the sound of human voices singing would make the film less lonely, but I honestly can’t imagine the movie without the music. It really is a third character. Chris Eaton put us in touch with Jen and Eric of The Parlor, and they just gave us their songs. As did El Cantador and Sun Hotel, who Christian knew from Florida. Wise Blood was a friend of Adam’s from college.  Once we hit on the idea of using his music, it really pulled it all together, his electro-hip-hop-pop style is at such odds with the visuals that it creates this beautiful, jarring, juxtaposition. I can’t speak highly enough of the bands and artists and their generosity. It is truly amazing to be able to collaborate across different disciplines and help each other out. Their art made ours so much better. I hope everyone who loves the music goes and buys it all. We only scratched the surface of the incredible songs in their catalogs.

There's one specific anecdote about the Rock Plaza song my character dances and sings to, "Anthem For the Already Defeated." I had written it into the script after we started talking with Chris Eaton. But our relationship was very nascent, so I didn’t tell him for months that I actually sing the song on screen. I was afraid it would be something that could be leveraged against us for more money (which we didn’t have). We originally intended to film a version of the scene where I just dance and don’t sing so that we could replace the song. But we were in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night, and it was so very dark. Finally we just said forget it and took the chance that we would get the rights squared away. I was also very nervous for Chris Eaton to see the scene—remember, I have been a huge fan of this band for years, I’ve seen them half a dozen times in concert, and here one of my favorite artists is going to watch me butcher his song on screen.  But his only comment on the scene was, “I think you need to turn Jeremy’s vocals up!” It was a great relief.


AC:  I’m assuming you were shooting fairly locally, but there’s also the idea that maybe you took the whole show on the road, just like the characters.

JG:  Originally I wanted to shoot as close to my home base in Norwalk, CT, as possible. It was in keeping with the minuscule budget if we could sleep in our own beds at night.  But one of our producers, Doug Plomitallo, kept suggesting the town of Kent, CT, and this old abandoned Girl Scout camp he knew of.  It was about two hours away and we would have had to find lodging up there, so I nixed the idea. Then he and I went in these wider and wider concentric circles around Norwalk, scouting for anything close, until finally I agreed to go check out Kent. Needless to say, within five minutes of setting foot in Camp Francis, there was no question: We were going to shoot up there. There were so many overgrown buildings and the pace of the town and the locals was much friendlier and slower than the cluster of commuters on I-95 where I live. It was just a huge get. He was absolutely right about the place and it is a very big reason the movie has the look I was after.


AC: How did Larry Fessenden get involved?  I'm a huge fan, and it was fun to see his name pop up in the credits.
  
JG: I kind of feel bad about how I was able to get Larry. When I was originally still trying to decide how to get the money for the film, I read a lot of interviews with him. He was very inspiring about not making excuses and just deciding to make your film. I also read an anecdote that Ti West had bugged his film school teacher until she gave him Larry’s number. I didn’t have his number, but I did find his email address, and to his credit, he kept responding to my little queries over about a year or two years. At one point, I asked him to play a role in the film; amazingly, he agreed, but by the time he was available we would have already been finished, so we ended up casting someone else. He was completely gracious and told me the scene was great and wished me good luck. The only other capacity I could think to keep him involved was to be the voice of the mysterious Frank on the radio. He recorded it all in his house and sent me the files. That guy is such a badass. What is truly amazing is that he is absolutely the champion of  indie film that everyone thinks he is. I have no track record as a filmmaker. For all he knew, we could have been making the worst, most clichéd, friends-goofing-off zombie movie, but he still recorded the voiceover and signed a release. He was willing to let his name pop up in the credits of whatever the hell it was we were making. That’s awesome.
 

AC:  There’s a real sense of disconnectedness – one that few survival films accomplish – by keeping your and Adam’s characters isolated from any other human characters.  Even more frustrating (for Mickey, at least) is the fact that when they do have communication, the other survivors don’t want to connect with them.

JG: Again, I don’t know that my intention to shoot on a specific budget and my intention for tone and story will ever inform each other as much as they did here. It just takes too long and costs too much to have more than two lead actors.  Because of that, I knew I was going to make a movie injected with real loneliness and a sense of detachment. The one thing I hadn’t seen done very well in zombie movies was a real psychological study. That was the impetus: to watch the way two very different personalities deal with such a massive upheaval of everything they’ve come to know. It was fun to be able to go in both directions with the script. To explore the mind of a man whose playing days were probably done and who was on the verge of having to get a real job be freed from those responsibilities, and watch him go feral and revert to a very primal way of dealing with life. At the same time, explore someone who absolutely cannot let go of the creature comforts he has grown accustomed to, someone who refuses to accept that the world is irrevocably changed. There wasn’t really a need for there to be more than those two people.  The budget informed the story, the story reinforced the budget. 



AC:  Continuing with the theme of isolation, talk about the inspiration for Mickey’s headphones.

JG: The headphones just seemed like a very obvious way for someone to escape a reality they weren’t comfortable with. These days, we all check out and remove ourselves with technology. I loved the idea that it would have to be a CD Walkman instead of an iPod because it would be easier to find new batteries for it than to charge an ipod. Of course the second we put a trailer up for the movie, people were leaving comments about how hipster and stupid we were for having a character wear headphones in a zombie movie, what an asinine and dangerous thing that is. As if we weren’t going to explore that notion in the film.



AC: How much improvisation took place and/or how close did you stick to the script?

JG:  I had lived with the script for the better part of two years, so I knew it front to back. And, although I’ve done a fair amount of theater, I have always felt more alive in a role when the script is just a guideline for finding something interesting in the moment. Adam only had the script for a month, so every night after the day’s shoot, while we were back at the cottages having a beer and watching rushes, he was pacing in his room, poring over the next day’s scenes. I would say the majority of what is there is scripted, but I was always trying to poke Adam out of his comfort zone and force him to follow me off-book. To his credit, he always went with it whenever I took it in a different direction, but because he had so little time to prepare, most of what is there was on the page.

Most of the ad-libbing that made the cut are the tags on the ends of scenes that I can’t help but throw in. “Fuck you, sir. Fuck you to death.” and “Let’s go steal some of your dead girlfriend’s blankets.”  Those are products of me letting the scene keep going after the page. The biggest one is probably the scene where we are playing catch and I do a funky dance.  That scene was originally a long dialogue scene where I tell Mickey to cheer up and we can start our own Orchard and only let pretty girls in and blah blah blah.  It didn’t feel natural in the moment, so I just did a weird dance instead.



AC:  What was the biggest challenge for you directing and performing on camera at the same time?  Did you do a lot of retakes after looking at playback or are these mostly first takes?

JG:  Strangely, acting and directing wasn’t nearly as difficult as it should have been, but I credit all that to Christian, my DP. Nothing on this film works without him. I tell him what I want and he makes it happen. I am a pretty good judge of knowing whether the performance was where I wanted it to be; if there is something I could have done better or differently, I’ll call to keep rolling or do another take. If there was something that I wanted to tease out of Adam, I could sometimes tweak what I was doing to get him to follow me in a slightly different way. The harder part of the process was dealing with the piddly shit that a director/actor doesn’t have to deal on a typical set. Because we were only five people on set every day, things like getting coffee and making sure everyone ate something were the biggest distractions.



AC:  How did you and Christian end up collaborating on this project?  I’m assuming your editor Alicia Stella is somehow related?  And who is Elise Stella, your production manager and “fresh slut zombie?

JG:  Christian has been my best friend for years. He is an incredible writer in his own right, but he makes and photographs cookbooks for a living. When I told him I wanted to do this he broke down and decided he would by the Canon 5D so that he could do his food photography andshoot the movie with it. He is one of these guys who decides to learn things and completely dominates them. He knew exactly what I was trying to achieve with wide open green spaces and the unbroken takes. He also color-graded the entire thing, and when we weren’t able to find a sound mixer we could afford, he learned how to do that too. He is a one-man crew, and I love him. 

Alicia Stella is his sister, and an incredible editor. She and her boyfriend Michael put in these marathon editing sessions; they really made it a lot easier to cut things I didn’t think we could afford to lose. They were looking at it with fresh eyes and hadn’t grown attached to scenes because they weren’t on set filming them. Elise is Christian’s wife. She plays Mickey’s zombie fetish in the big masturbation scene, but she was also Christian’s assistant, handing him lenses and equipment when he needed it. She was also on set every day logging shots, supervising the script, etc. 



AC: I’m sure you’ve heard people asking you about a sequel, but I actually prefer the open-endedness that you’ve got right now.  What do you think is beneath the state of fandom today that is so attached to follow-ups?

JG: I think the desire for sequels, at least from a fan standpoint, is always genuine. The studios see a way to milk money from a built-in base, but the fans just want to live in a world they love a little longer. I see nothing wrong with that, and there are certainly ways sequels can be done that do justice to the first film; unfortunately most of the time they don’t turn out that way. Jurassic Park was the movie that made me want to be involved in movies. It was the first film that awed me in a way I couldn’t understand, and it was at the same time that I was just starting to peek behind the curtain and hear how movies were made. So when The Lost World was announced, I could not wait to be in that world again, with those characters again. Whether it worked entirely is a different conversation, but the idea of getting to go back to a place you loved is the beautiful thing about sequels.

I am completely happy with the open-ended finality of The Battery. But I am not at all opposed to going back to that world. Just because I would like to see Ben again, and find out what The Orchard is, and learn more about Annie and Frank. But I would be very careful, if I were to ever entertain the idea, that same sensibilities were applied to The Orchard. I’m not interested in making a $10 million sequel.  I would want it to be intimate in a similar way. However, that might be something that annoys the fans; it’s never a win-win. 


AC:  What has it been like seeing the film at the various festival screenings?  Seems like the reception has been universally positive and you’ve been accepted into some of the most prestigious festivals in the world.  Not bad for a first feature and a $6,000 one at that!

JG: The festival run has been unbelievable. Winning the same award at Imagine in Amsterdam as Silence of the Lambs, Donnie Darko, and From Dusk Till Dawn is unimaginable.  Seeing the crowd on their feet in Scotland at Dead by Dawn. Going to Brazil and Mexico City.  I left the country for the first time only five years ago; now my passport is nearly full!  The most amazing thing has been the universal love at all of these festivals from the audience, despite the language barrier and the baseball element and the lack of zombies. Horror fans that attend these festivals don’t just want bashing heads and splattering blood; they have really responded to the characters. It’s been such a rewarding and vindicating experience.




AC: Finally, that dreaded question:  What’s up next?  More horror?  Bigger budget?

JG: I am writing a monster movie right now. We’re aiming for a slightly bigger budget, but it’s still more about the people than the monster. It’s a monster movie that’s more about marriage. I’ve also got a long-percolating script about a man who falls in love with a ten-foot king cobra.  I love horror, so I want to keep making character-focused genre movies. But I also really want to make some dark, ridiculous, absurdist, Jody Hill-type movie comedy like Foot Fist Way. We’ll see what happens.



HERE COMES THE DEVIL (2012) movie review

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Here Comes the Devil (2012) d. Adrián García Bogliano (Mexico/US)

A young Mexican couple (Francisco Barreiro, Laura Caro) takes a weekend jaunt to Tijuana with their two adolescent children (Alan Martinez, Michele Garcia). In a scene that recalls Peter Weir’s fascinating and haunting Picnic at Hanging Rock, the bored youngsters venture up a rocky hill, disappearing into a dark cave. As dusk falls and their offspring fail to return, the panicked parents call the police, haunted by guilt as they spend a sleepless, blame-filled night in a seedy hotel nearby. The next morning, the cops arrive with the kids in tow, but something is off – they seem distant, traumatized. Over the week that follows, the family is slowly torn asunder by dark forces from both within and without.


A vicious bitch-slap to the multitude of no-budget, shaky-cam paranormal flicks littering the genre’s current landscape, this deeply unsettling masterpiece delivers frontal assault shocks and atmospheric creeps in equal measure. As with his previous Argentinean shockers Cold Sweat and Penumbra, writer/director Bogliano is not concerned with cheap scares or mindless splatter, but with evoking a specific brand of fear that lingers in the bones, lives under the skin, dwells in the hindbrain....


Despite trafficking in well-traveled themes (torturer/victim, mysterious cults, demonic possession), his films always contain the vital elements that set them apart from so many other pretenders to the horror throne – personality and texture – making them rich and rewarding, even more so on repeat viewings.


There’s an undercurrent of sex and sexuality surging throughout Devil, from a steamy opening scene of two adventurous teenage girls to Barreiro and Caro describing their “first times” to one another, their mutual passion growing with every breathy remembrance, to Garcia’s character having her first period and Martinez’s corresponding confusion. But the darker side of the flesh is also explored, one marred by abuse, rape (spectral or human?), and incest, and it is from here that the film gets its juice, if you’ll pardon the expression.


The parents, increasingly fearful that something unsavory occurred to their beloved ones while out of their sight, seek explanations and, more importantly, retribution. Their thirst for “justice” leads down some very questionable paths indeed, all the more horrifying as we – and they – come to realize that the victimizer is far more powerful and potent than any dime-store, trenchcoated child molester.


Barreiro, star of the acclaimed urban cannibal flick We Are What We Are (recently remade with great success by Stake Land’s Jim Mickle) brings an admirable everyman quality to his slowly unraveling padre, but it is Caro (making her feature film debut) who carries the picture with her frightened but ferocious turn as a mother dealing with horrors both earthly and otherwise.


All of the supporting cast are terrific as well, including Barbara Perrin Rivemar as a beleaguered babysitter, Giancarlo Ruiz as a dogged detective, David Arturo Cabezud as a strange hermit who could be friend or fiend, and Enrique Saint-Martin as a gas station attendant whose story connects to Barreiro and Caro’s in chillingly poetic fashion.


The supernatural scares are used sparingly and effectively, with one nasty moment of gratuitous bloodletting, but more often than not the terror lurks just outside the frame, encouraging viewers to lean forward to unravel the mystery alongside the characters. Bogliano doesn’t answer every question raised by the time the credits crawl, but that’s as this particular fan prefers it (eschewing the seemingly mandatory flutter-cut flashback sequence filling in all the blanks). Note: most of the loose ends are, in fact, addressed, though it might take some careful reflection and/or discussion to tease them out.




This kind of rich, intelligent, measured, and mature horror evokes memories of the best of 1970s genre flicks, where storytelling, fine acting, and carefully cultivated atmosphere were the most special of special effects. In spite of its somewhat loopy title (I keep thinking “Here comes Speed Racer,” or “Hey there, it’s Yogi Bear”), Here Comes the Devil digs its claws in and refuses to let go.


Available throughMagnolia/Magnet on iTunes, VOD, and in select theaters Dec. 13.


--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

RAZE (2013) movie review

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Raze (2013) d. Josh C. Waller  (USA)

Two attractive women clad in white tank tops and gray sweatpants stand opposite one another inside a cylindrical brick room. The blinking red lights of surveillance cameras flicker in counterpoint to their panting as each sizes the other up. Then, without warning, they proceed to pound, punch, kick, pull, choke, slap, bite, and savage one another’s bodies until one lies dead and bleeding on the dirt floor. This scenario plays out over and over (and over) again in director Josh Waller’s feature debut, a film that resembles a live-action 90-minute Mortal Kombat video game session, only with more blood, tears, camera angles, and flash cuts (and only slightly more exposition).


Whether this translates into a worthwhile viewing experience will depend entirely on the individual’s reaction to the description above. The slim plot, as devised by Waller, Kenny Gage, and Robert Beaucage (who is credited with the final screenplay), has 50 women kidnapped from their daily lives and deposited in some undisclosed prison-like facility by some undisclosed secret society that serves up these battles royale as entertainment for a select clientele. Yes, it’s Hostel III crossed with the 2007 Steve Austin/Vinnie Jones fight-to-the-death prison flick The Condemmed, all done with a female slant.


Doug Jones and Sherilyn Fenn star as the power couple who arrange the mayhem, and both seem to be enjoying their cheerily malevolent turns. As for the combatants themselves, we get three of the stars of Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof (Zoe Bell, Tracie Thoms, and Rosario Dawson), P2’s Rachel Nichols, plus Rebecca Marshall, Bailey Anne Borders, and a slew of other hot chicks primed for slaughter. (The conceit is that if the ladies refuse to fight, one of their loved ones in the real world will be killed, and we are reminded of this via hidden camera footage showing that our baddies know where the husbands, parents, or children are at all times.)


The video game comparison is an apt one—we’re even given “title cards” before each death match (“Sabrina vs. Jamie,” “Cody vs. Phoebe”)—since the character development is next to nil. Sometimes we haven’t even been introduced to a main character’s opponent until the title card shows up; for any discerning viewer, it’s unlikely that our hero is going to lose to a complete unknown, so there’s even less suspense regarding the outcome. As the number of matches start to dwindle and some of our familiar faces are forced to square off against one another, things get slightly more interesting, but only slightly. Fair warning: surprises are few and far between. We can tell, almost without fail, how long someone is going to last based on their billing and onscreen backstory.


So, is Raze a good movie, even at an exploitation flick level? Hard to say. It’s a decent high-concept, but a difficult one to maintain for a feature-length outing. Personally, I found it difficult to invest in anyone’s fate, since we learn little about the characters outside of the ring and even less inside of it except how much punishment they are willing to take and/or dish out. There are also not a lot of finessed, wow-worthy martial arts or kickass choreography; we get a few spin kicks, but mostly it’s just down and dirty slugfests with eye-gouging and head-against-wall ending moves courtesy of stunt coordinator James Young.


That said, there’s an appreciable amount of practical gore and splatter, and Jones and Fenn’s buoyant dark charm works nicely against the overwhelming nihilism on display. No one is going to win any awards for acting here (a little of Marshall’s snarling villain antics go a long way, and Bell comes off as eternally surly), but there’s no doubt that all assembled are having the time of their lives pretending to kick the snot out of their gal pals, which has its own appeal.


Razeis available January 10 on VOD and in select theaters from IFC Midnight.

http://www.ifcfilms.com/films/raze



--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine 

ZOMBIE HAMLET (2012) movie review

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Zombie Hamlet (2012) d. John Murlowski (USA)

First time director Osric Taylor (Travis Wester), hot off the success of his Planet of the Apes-inspired fast food chicken commercial, lands a deal to helm his longtime vision of Hamlet set during the Civil War. Unfortunately, as soon as things get underway, financing falls through and the decision is made to capitalize on the current zombie craze in order to secure additional funds. This bizarre creative compromise is only the first of many that Taylor must undergo to get the Bard in the can, including hiring a C-list action star (Jason Mewes) and the adorable but dim-witted niece (Emmalee Wilson) of the primary investor (June Lockhart) to assay the lead roles.


Right off the bat it needs to be said that, in spite of the title, this is not a horror movie, or even a horror/comedy, but rather a goofy farce about “the trials of independent filmmaking.” The only undead that show up are the pasty-faced ghouls shambling about in the film-within-the-film, and while one of the supporting characters does keel over dead at one point and there are some corpse-concealing shenanigans, it’s all done in cartoony fashion that harkens back to the days of Abbott and Costello, only with more shaky-cam.


Ah, yes, let’s talk about that shaky-cam. Like its fictitious subject matter, Zombie Hamlet is a cheap little flick, with plenty of rough edges and outlandish solutions. The loud and obnoxious soundtrack plays like a parody of loud and obnoxious soundtracks. Much of the onscreen footage comes courtesy of the “behind-the-scenes” camera (handled by local loony makeup man-turned-documentarian Brendan Michael Coughlin), but a lot of it also comes from a standard omniscient lens, and even more comes from Shelly Long’s snoopy news reporter looking for a scoop. In other words, by any narrative device that comes to mind. (There are even reaction shots from one character to another when there’s only supposed to be a single camera in use!) Wacka-wacka sound effects, CGI explosions, and freeze frames with onscreen titles sink collective IQs even further.


This all may sound like nitpicking, but it’s indicative of the “anything goes” methodology that director John Murlowski and screenwriter John McKinney trade in. 90 minutes of nonstop “We gotta make this film” wackiness goes a long way, with most of the laughs feeling predictable and cheap, like an extended sitcom episode complete with stunt casting. (Seriously, what are Shelly Long, John Amos, John de Lancie, and June freaking Lockhart doing here???) Granted, there are a lot of viewers out there who dig the sitcoms, so I’m loath to condemn the enterprise as a whole. The loud and raucous performances suit the loosey-goosey material, everyone seems to be having a good time, and while there’s an abundance of camera-winking, it’s relatively inoffensive in the grand scheme of things.


With lowered and managed expectations, Zombie Hamlet could be an amusing enough time-waster. Plus, with a title like that, I doubt anyone is going to be expecting Citizen Kane...or even Survival of the Dead.




Zombie Hamlet is available on DVD December 31 from Level 33 Entertainment.


--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

Fool's Views (12/2 – 12/15)

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"You've only watched HOW many movie this year???  Get ON with it..."

Howdy folks,

Running out of 2013 to work with here, so I'm going to keep the preambling to a minimum. These two weeks represented a hectic time of doing the last passes on HIDDEN HORROR (now available on Amazon), so I let Shout! Factory be my programming guide (at least as far as horror went) while the civilian viewings represented flicks that I'd been toting around for the better part of two years wondering when I would ever get to them. Luckily, all proved to be well worth my while.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth - we'll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!



HORROR:

 


Beast Within, The (1982) d. Mora, Philippe (USA) (3rd and 4th viewings)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





Crawlspace (1986) d. Schmoeller, David (USA) (3rd viewing)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





Initiation of Sarah, The (1978) d. Day, Robert (USA) (1st viewing)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





Saturn 3 (1980) d. Donen, Stanley (UK) (2nd and 3rd viewings)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***




CIVILIAN:



Are You In the House Alone? (1978) d. Grauman, Walter (USA) (1st viewing)

TV-movie about a high school girl being stalked and raped in a small town community reluctant to go against the all-powerful moneyed family that runs things. Not bad and fairly brave, especially for its time and platform.





Brown Bunny, The (2003) d. Gallo, Vincent (USA) (1st viewing)

While Chloe Sevigny’s notorious onscreen fellatio grabbed most of the headlines, Gallo’s follow-up to Buffalo ’66 is a much better film than given credit for. Requires patience, but rewards it as well.





Day in the Death of Joe Egg, A (1972) d. Medak, Peter (UK) (1st viewing)

Brilliant screen adaption of Peter Nichols’ stage play about a young couple (Alan Bates, Janet Suzman) dealing with the care of their mentally handicapped daughter. Funny, sad, astonishing.





Smashing Machine, The (2002) d. Hyams, John (USA) (1st viewing)

Intriguing documentary about MMA fighter John Kerr and his rise and fall within the bloody sport due to injury and drug addiction. Exec-produced by Gavin O’Connor, who went on to direct 2011’s Warrior, covering similar terrain in a fictitious setting.


2013 Totals to date: 291 films, 228 1st time views, 180 horror, 69 cinema

THE SEDUCTION (1982) movie review

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Seduction, The (1982) d. David Schmoeller (USA)

This overheated tale of an obsessed fan (Andrew Stevens) stalking the local bombshell news anchorwoman (Morgan Fairchild, at her plastic, soft-porn best) has little to recommend it in terms of actual tension or horror. But it is a certifiable hoot to watch and certainly fits the bill as a late-night guilty pleasure...if one were so given to feel guilty about such things, which, well, I'm not, so I don't.


The film opens with Stevens spying on Fairchild swimming nude in her pool, and the increasingly unwelcome phone calls, flowers, candy, and visits to her house follow from there.


As Fairchild’s journalist lover, Michael Sarrazin marks the time bulging his eyes and declaring “I’m going to kill him!” every chance he gets, right up until he gets himself offed in a hot tub. When the cops can’t do anything, Fairchild goes commando, blasting away at Stevens with a shotgun and the whole thing ends in a whirling dervish revenge fantasy.


A sudsy, terribly written, horribly acted time capsule of the early ’80s era of blow-drying and huge sunglasses. Amid the froth, however, there is one inspired scene where Stevens sneaks a dark message onto the news teleprompter. Fairchild’s hysterical (in every sense of the word) on-air breakdown is an unqualified highlight.


After the film’s failure, writer/director Schmoeller returned to Charles Band’s Empire Pictures four years later to helm the Klaus Kinski vehicle Crawlspace, followed by the first in the long-running Puppet Master series in 1989.

I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to stalk me?



CANDYMAN (1992) movie review

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Candyman (1992) d. Bernard Rose (USA)

Chicago grad student Virginia Madsen is working on her “urban legends” thesis and uncovers the tale of Candyman, a wrongfully murdered black artist with a hook for a hand, who appears if you say his name in a mirror five times. Of course, Madsen tries it out for herself, only to find that the avenging spirit is all too real and that his hook is all too sharp. Several gory slayings ensue, all of which seem to implicate our heroine, who slips further and further into madness.


More straightforward horror than suspense, writer/director Rose crafts an intelligent thriller movie that disgusts as often as it chills, remaining in the viewer’s mind long after the credits roll. As our heroine, Madsen avoids all virginal final girl clichés, inhabiting a strong, resourceful, mature, deeply frightened yet determined woman.


Even more impressive, she and writer/director Rose employ several scenes of nudity not to titillate, but rather to show vulnerability and humanity – a rare feat in this beloved genre of ours.


Highest marks also go to the impressive accomplishment of introducing an original character into the already overcrowded boogeyman pantheon. Atypical of the silver screen’s myriad masked maniacs, Tony Todd’s Candyman possesses a fierce strength and elegance combined with savagery, making him one of the more complex villains of the past several decades.


Long before the day and age of ubiquitous CGI, many of the practical effects executed by makeup wonderboys Bob Keen and Gary Tunnicliffe chart well on the kickass chart, not to mention the enormous cojones displayed by Madsen and Todd as they make the intimate acquaintance of dozens of live bees.



Chicago’s Cabrini Green housing project is put to excellent use, as is Philip Glass’s haunting, choral-inflected musical score. Exec-produced by Clive Barker, based on his short story “The Forbidden,” and followed by two sequels.


Fool's Views (12/16 – 12/31)

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So long, farewell, adios, auf weinerschnitzel...

And so 2013 comes to a close, but we managed to get some flicks watched in the final lap, pushing up over the 300+ mark. Next, the annual year-end extravaganza, so stay tuned!!!

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth - we'll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!



HORROR:



Big Bad Wolves (2012) d. Kashales, Aharon / Papushado, Navot (Israel) (1st viewing)

I’ve been asked to hold my full review until the film is officially released January 15, but I can say that Kashales and Papushado’s follow-up to Rabies (one of my faves from last year) is a superb thriller that only stumbles when it gets a case of the cutes. Trying to ape Tarantino, we are subjected to a huge plot contrivance whose only purpose is to provide a bouncy Buddy Holly tune opposite grim onscreen action.





Candyman (1992) d. Rose, Bernard (USA) (3rd viewing)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





Evil Dead (2013) d. Alvarez, Fede (USA) (2nd viewing)

Revisited this one to see if it would hold up outside SXSW’s festival setting. It’s got issues, but it’s still pretty darn entertaining.

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





Here Comes the Devil (2012) d. Bogliano, Adrian Garcia (Mexico/USA) (1st viewing)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





Seduction, The (1982) d. Schmoeller, David (USA) (2nd viewing)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***




CIVILIAN:



Animal Kingdom (2010) d. Michod, David (Australia) (1st viewing)

This glimpse into a low-tier crime family from Down Under is filled with dozens of quiet moments and even quieter menace. Jacki Weaver, in the breakout role that brought her international attention, is the sweet mother of a family of nogoodniks, but when the chips are down, she’s as lethal with a raised eyebrow as any goon’s baseball bat.





Harlan County U.S.A. (1976) d. Kopple, Barbara (USA) (1st viewing)

Oscar-winning documentary about a group of East Kentucky coal miners striking for decent wages and safety regulations, battling the coal companies, a corrupt union, and heartbreaking poverty. Recognized as one of the finest docs ever made and it’s hard to disagree.





Outlaw, The (1943) d. Hughes, Howard (USA) (1st viewing)

Extremely enjoyable and notoriously racy western produced and directed by the eccentric billionaire (with some uncredited assistance from Howard Hawks) is remembered most for Jane Russell’s heaving bosoms and artfully parted lips, but Jules Furthman’s economical script (which likely benefited from a polish by Ben Hecht) provides Jack Beutel, Walter Huston, and Thomas Mitchell (as Billy the Kid, Pat Garrett, and Doc Holliday) with some splendid repartee.





Raze (2013) d. Waller, Josh C. (USA) (1st viewing)

90 minutes of chick fights...ready, steady, go!

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***





Stoker (2013) d. Park, Chan-wook (UK/USA) (1st viewing)

Many of my blood brothers-and-sisters-in-arms shoehorned this onto their “Best of 2013 Horror” year-end lists, and while I agree that the South Korean director’s English-language debut is dark and moody, with startling bursts of violence, I just can’t quite bring myself to put it on this side of the genre fence. It is, however, a superb twisted family drama, a suspenseful thriller, an artfully composed homage to Shadow of a Doubt, and a stunning exercise in style that will undoubtedly appeal to art house fright fans.





Van Nuys Blvd. (1979) d. Sachs, William (USA) (1st viewing)

I had no idea that there even was a “vansploitation” cinema subgenre. But apparently there was and, according to fellow cinephile Jason Coffman, this is the best of the lot. Directed by Sachs (who had given us The Incredible Melting Man just couple years earlier), this send-up of American Graffiti throws everything in the mix from hot chicks to ridiculous fashion choices to hilarious dance moves to outrageous automobiles. Rough edges all around, but never a dull moment.






Zombie Hamlet (2012) d. Murlowski, John (USA) (1st viewing)

When is a zombie movie not a zombie movie? When it’s a comedy about the making of a zombie movie. WAH-WAH.

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***




OSCAR BAIT:




American Hustle (2013) d. Russell, David O. (USA) (1st viewing)

Russell’s appropriating of Goodfellas’ aesthetics for his epic 70s caper flick is one thing, but watching a whole bunch of A-list Actors Acting really, really hard gets exhausting after a while. Like, wow, watch us Act. Do you see this costume I'm wearing? And this accent I'm doing? And this hairstyle I'm rocking? I mean, this is ACTING.





August: Osage County (2013) d. Wells, John (USA) (1st viewing)

The screen version of Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer Prize-winning play is a smorgasbord of familial dysfunction, putting everything from drug addiction to incest on the docket following the disappearance of an Oklahoma patriarch. Terrific ensemble work from an all-star cast, though it's been reported that much of the juice of the stage production gets lost in translation.  (I've only seen the film.)





Dallas Buyers Club (2013) d. Vallee, Jean-Marc (USA) (1st viewing)

Matthew McConaughey continues his renewed hot streak begun with 2011’s The Lincoln Lawyer, playing Texas hustler Ron Woodruff who, after contracting HIV in 1985 and finding little help from Big Corporate Medicine, led the charge in finding alternative methods of treating the disease as well as providing said methods to a frustrated and terrified public. An equally inspiring and infuriating true story.


2013 Totals: 306 films, 240 1st time views, 185 horror, 69 cinema
 

Dr. AC's 2013 Horror Wrap-up Extravaganza!

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Greetings, monster kids of all ages,

After two consecutive years of watching over 600 films, 2013 settled back down to a much more reasonable pace, clocking in with a final total of 306 features. (However, purists, it bears noting that 11 of these were double views of the same title, usually for review purposes, i.e. listening to a commentary track.) What accounted for the change in consumption? Well, the biggest factor would be a certain literary venture, the icon (and link to Amazon) for which sits proudly in the upper right hand corner of your screen. Wrestling 101 films from 101 different authors into shape was no small feat, and that’s not even factoring in the email correspondence, illustrations, and promotion that went along with it. But HIDDEN HORROR is finally tamed and out there in the world – hope you enjoy.

However, 2013 also found me reviewing higher profile releases, both at home and on the festival circuit. As a result, I felt obliged to expand my normal Fool’s Views capsule review format to something a little more “legit.” If someone is going to lay a DVD or Blu-ray on me, then I felt I should explore that baby to the fullest – ditto if someone is providing a digital screener link for a yet-to-be-released movie, then I’m one of the first on the ground giving an opinion for others to take as a guideline. And, as my scribbling grew in size, I started adding more photos and frame grabs to balance out the text, as well as linking to older reviews. I also started posting interviews with filmmakers and providing the occasional convention report. Long story short, I spent much more time writing this year than kicking back in front of the tube, with even my usual October Movie Challenge gorgefest a fraction of its former self. (The irony that I’m apologizing for watching only 300 movies is not lost on me, by the way.)


After much deliberation, I’ve assessed my horror year that was. To accommodate and acknowledge as many films as possible, I've broken them down into various categories in alphabetical order, with my top pick denoted with an asterisk. (*)

If you are curious about or want to celebrate/debate why a certain title landed in a certain category, please leave a comment and we’ll go at it. Also, if you’re interested in reading the original review – and really, who wouldn’t be? – just click on that film’s title to be taken to the corresponding blog entry.  (In some cases, you'll need to scroll down to the film's entry in that week's Fool's Views installment.)

Also, here are links to several 2013 highlights that might be worth your time:

SXSW 2013
BIFFF 2013
G-FEST XX

Thanks so much for the past year of rapping and chatting - looking forward to more of the same in 2014!


TOP 20 HORROR FLICKS 2013

100 Bloody Acres
Adam Chaplin: Violent Avenger
American Mary
Bad Milo
The Battery*
The Bunny Game
The Conjuring
Crystal Lake Memories
Evil Dead
Grabbers*
Harold's Going Stiff
Here Comes the Devil
John Dies at the End
Kiss of the Damned
Men in Suits
Mon Ami
Resolution
Sightseers
We Are What We Are (2013)
You're Next*




HONORABLE MENTION

Antiviral
The Bay
Frankenstein's Army
Hellbenders
Horror Stories
Mama
Maniac
President's Day
The Purge
Thale
Vamp U
V/H/S/2
World War Z






FESTIVAL FAVES (AWAITING WIDE RELEASE)

Big Ass Spider
Big Bad Wolves
Cheap Thrills
The End
Fresh Meat
Ghost Graduation
Goldberg and Eisenberg
May I Kill U?
The Second Death*










MIXED BAGS


The ABCs of Death
Carrie
Cockneys vs. Zombies
Detention of the Dead
The Lords of Salem
Pacific Rim
Plus One
R.I.P.D.
Texas Chainsaw 3D
This is the End
We Are What We Are (2010)
The World's End







NOTABLY INEPT/BORING/DISAPPOINTING




Beast Beneath
Beneath
Hellgate
House at the End of the Street
I Spit on Your Grave 2
Nothing Left to Fear
The Possession













FAVORITE HORROR DISCOVERIES
 




Death Weekend (1976)*
The Earth Dies Screaming (1964)
Maniac Cop 2 (1990)
Spiders (2000)













HORROR DISCOVERIES – HONORABLE MENTION



Aaah! Zombies!! (2007)
Baker County, U.S.A. (1982)
Body Bags (1993)
Flick (2008)
Gorilla at Large (1954)
Mirror Mirror (1990)
Naked Massacre (1976)
The Other Side (2006)
Santo vs. the Vampire Women (1962)
The Uncanny (1977)
Venom (1981)






FAVORITE WHAT THE *%#^$%#% DID I JUST WATCH?
(in the best possible “pick your jaw up off the floor” way) 


Atomic Brain, The (1963)
Dracula 3D (2013)
Gamera: Super Monster (1980)*
Loch Ness Horror, The (1984)
Lorna…the Exorcist (1974)
Possessed, The (1977)
Pulgasari (1985)
(I will get to this one, I promise)
Sexcula (1974)
Scanners III: The Takeover (1991)










LEAST FAVORITE HORROR VIEW OF 2013






Profane Exhibit, The
(sneak preview at HorrorHound Weekend)















Up next: AC’s top Civilian picks, year-end stats, and much, much more...!

Civilian 2013 Wrap-Up and Year-End Stats!

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Back again!

Having addressed the horror genre in the previous entry(hey, this is HORROR 101 after all), it’s now time to give the civilian flicks a moment in the sun. As before, all titles listed were encountered for the first time from January 1 to December 31, 2012 (i.e. no repeat viewings were eligible), with  top picks denoted with an asterisk. (*)  

Because I didn’t get to the cinema much outside of the early 2013 Oscar race and the two festivals (SXSW and BIFFF), it’s not surprising that my 2013 civilian favorites were dominated by 2012 releases and limited 2013 screenings.  But these are the cards I’m holding, so these are the ones I’m playing.

Let the OCD madness begin!!!

2013 Totals: 306 films, 240 1st time views, 185 horror, 69 cinema

(2012 Totals: 607, 520, 362, 166)
(2011 Totals: 640, 419, 355, 59)
(2010 Totals: 364, 253, 242, 45)
(2009 Totals: 472, 276, 289, 38)
(2008 Totals: 384, 278, 226, 39)
(2007 Totals: 409, 284, 260, 40)


TOP CIVILIAN VIEWS RELEASED IN (OR AROUND) 2013


56 Up! (2012)
Amour (2012)
Argo (2012)
Dallas Buyers Club (2013)
Gravity (2013)
The Impossible (2012)
Jonas (2013)*
Life of Pi (2012)
Rust and Bone (2012)
Searching for Sugar Man (2012)*
The Sessions (2012)
Stoker (2013)
Upstream Color (2013)*






FESTIVAL FAVES (AWAITING WIDE RELEASE)


Blancanieves (2012)*
Coldwater (2013)
Confession of Murder (2012)
Downloaded (2013)
The Fifth Season (2013)
I am Divine (2013)
I Declare War (2012)
Pieta (2012)
Short Term 12 (2013)
Sound City (2013)
Yellow (2013)
Zero Charisma (2013)







TOP CIVILIAN DISCOVERIES OF 2013

21 Jump Street (2012)
Ban the Sadist Videos! (2006)
The Brown Bunny (2003)
Cut-Throats Nine (1972)
A Day in the Death of Joe Egg (1972)
The Do-Deca Pentathalon (2012)
Harlan County U.S.A. (1976)
Once (2006)*
The Outlaw (1943)
Reefer Madnes: The Movie Musical (2005)
Righting Wrongs (aka Above the Law) (1986)
Vengeance is Mine (1979)
Wake in Fright (1971)
Where the Wild Things Are (2009)





WORTH SEEING

 

Animals (2012)
The Butler (2013)
Cloud Atlas (2012)
Date Night (2010)
Haywire (2012)
Stranger Than Fiction (2006)
Super (2010)












MIXED BAGS


 
The Call (2013)
The Heat (2013)
Marley & Me (2008)
Room 237 (2012)
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)













WORST CIVILIAN VIEWS OF 2013







Man of Steel (2013)
X, Y and Zee (1972)













WHAT THE *&*%#^$%#% DID I JUST WATCH? (CIVILIAN EDITION)




The Castle of Fu Manchu (1969)
Gymkata (1985)
The Last Dragon (1985)
Revenge of the Ninja (1983)
Survive Style 5+ (2004)
Van Nuys Blvd. (1979)
Vanishing Waves (2012)








 
MORE FUN STATS FROM 2013…


DOCUMENTARIES WATCHED: 18 
Harlan County U.S.A., In the Belly of the Beast, The Smashing Machine, The VanBebber Family, The Meltdown Memoirs, Ban the Sadist Videos!, Religulous, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Searching for Sugar Man, 56 Up!, Room 237, Men in Suits, Downloaded, I am Divine, Milius, Sound City, The World's End: Making of Day of the Dead, Crystal Lake Memories


MOST VIEWED ACTOR:
Klaus Kinski (Venom, Schizoid, Crawlspace)


MOST VIEWED DIRECTORS:
(3)
John Carpenter (Body Bags, Assault on Precinct 13, Prince of Darkness)
Jess Franco (Castle of Fu Manchu, Lorna…the Exorcist, Dracula: Prisoner of Frankenstein)
William Fruet (Death Weekend, Baker County USA, Funeral Home)

(2)
Andrew Davis (The Final Terror, Code of Silence)
Christian Duguay (Scanners II, Scanners III)
Larry Fessenden (Beneath, Habit)
Sam Firstenberg (Revenge of the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination)
Marc Forster (Stranger Than Fiction, World War Z)
David Gregory (Ban the Sadist Videos, The VanBebber Family)
Todd Haynes (Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story, I’m Not There)
Fred J. Lincoln (Serena: An Adult Fairy Tale, Same Time Every Year)
Adam Rehmeier (The Bunny Game, Jonas)
David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle)
David Schmoeller (Crawlspace, The Seduction)


MULTIPLE VIEWS IN 2013 (** - by choice; all others indicate review purposes)
Assault on Precinct 13 (2)
The Beast Within (2)
Body Bags (2)
Crawlspace (2)
Evil Dead** (2)
The Horror Show (2)
Knightriders (2)
The Lords of Salem (2)
Night of the Comet
Saturn 3 (2)
You’re Next** (2)


SEEING DOUBLE:
Crawlspace (1986, 2013)
Possession (1981) & The Possession (2012)
We Are What We Are (2010, 2013)
The World’s End (2013) & The World’s End: The Making of Dawn of the Dead (2013)


GOING A-Z
Saw films with titles starting with every letter of the alphabet
(Q: The Winged Serpent& X, Y, and Zee, in case you were wondering)


WATCHED (AND REVIEWED!) XXX-RATED MOVIES


COUNTRIES OF RECORD: 26
Argentinia, Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Lithuania, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, North Korea, Norway, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, Thailand, UK, USA


EARLIEST FILM WATCHED:
The Old Dark House (1932)


LONGEST STREAK OF SEEING FILMS FROM EACH YEAR:
1969-1974, 1976-1996, 1999-2013 (i.e., this was a disaster)


VIEWINGS BY MONTH:
January – 28
February – 18
March – 37 (SXSW)
April –  56 (BIFFF)
May – 6
June – 26
July – 17
August – 14
September – 18
October – 38 (October Challenge)
November – 21
December – 27


TOP VIEWING YEARS:
2012 – 85
2013 – 58
2011 – 13
2010 – 10
1981 – 8
1982 – 8
1980 – 7
1976 – 6
1985 – 6
2006 – 6


VIEWS BREAKDOWN BY DECADE:
1930s – 2
1940s – 2
1950s – 3
1960s – 9
1970s – 27
1980s – 52
1990s – 16
2000s – 29
2010s - 166


That’s all, folks! See you next year...

7TH DAY (2012) movie review

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7th Day (2012) d. Jason M. Koch (USA)

Allen (Mark S. Sanders) is an active serial killer finally receiving his 15 minutes of fame. Accompanied by a documentary news team, he discusses the philosophy behind his “selections” (i.e. victims) and what they mean to him, he explains that he doesn’t get the same sense of fulfillment from murdering men which is why he sticks to females (although he’s not above shooting a fellow who is an obstacle or presents a potential threat), he waxes nostalgic about his humble beginnings, he reveals his predilections for occasionally having sex with the corpses or even cannibalizing them (“I don’t really like the taste, but I enjoy the concept.”) In short, Allen is a fascinating, intelligent, articulate subject, one perfectly suited to prime time....


Except when we are allowed to eavesdrop on Allen’s life and see the pathetic, confused, dim-witted, socially awkward, and delusional creature that he truly is. He’s a dishwasher at a greasy spoon diner, his co-workers can’t stand him, the waitress that he pines for (Daisy Gibb) regards him with barely concealed contempt, he lives in squalor next to an abrasive coke-snorting loony (Michael Brecher). His evenings are spent constructing drinking straw sculptures and watching droning television programs intermixed with hallucinations. In short, Allen is a mess, his only solace being the abuse of drugs and alcohol, the taking of human life, and the telling of his story to a (fictitious) interviewer to justify his sad and sordid existence.


It is this duplicitous presentation that gives 7th Day both its hook and its juice. It’s easy to imagine Allen having watched too many true crime documentaries (or maybe stumbling onto a copy of Man Bites Dog) and, wanting to create purpose for his life and deeds, conjuring an imaginary reporter to follow him around, a nightmarish scribbler resembling a cross between one of Hellraiser’s cenobites and a Ken doll left too long near the radiator. The week that we’re presented as a glimpse into Allen’s life doesn’t necessarily have a strong narrative arc; the real innovation is how director Koch and screenwriter Mark Leake have conceived a protagonist/antagonist who manages to ingratiate himself to the viewer through his reasoned and insightful viewpoints of what it means to be a serial killer, even as we see the lonely and broken individual he truly is. Koch demonstrates genuine vision here, in that sometimes the “interview” only takes place in Allen’s mind (as voiceover) and others he actually speaks aloud into the delusional microphone, or shots of our "hero" walking down the street alone, then cutting to a shot with the intrepid reporter sharing the frame.


For his part, Leake presents us with a variety of unsavory details dropped casually into the conversation, such as Allen’s suicidal father, or his mother performing fellatio on his older brother, the same sibling that would occasionally sodomize him at night. A model upbringing this was not, but Sanders delivers the information in such flat, reasoned tones that the sordid backstory rings of truth rather than premeditated shock material.


For eager gorehounds, there are bucketloads of the red stuff, courtesy of Kaleigh Brown (who also dished out the impressive splatter for the solid slasher comedy President’s Day) with Koch, also an effects artist, presumably throwing in his estimable two cents worth. We have body parts of all shapes and sizes, flesh being carved off the bone, fingers snipped off, knives stuck into necks and backs, heads sawn off, entrails smeared around, etc. It’s rare that such gratuitous bloodletting is so expertly woven into an intriguing character study, allowing horror fans to have their intellects and gag reflexes equally stimulated.


This is not to say there aren’t the occasional low budget stumbles. Excepting the terrific Sanders, who is convincing both as a remorseless killer and a whining coward, some of the performances are a little on the shaky side, and a couple scenes (such as the one where a hot blonde jogger starts hitting on Allen, only to be repulsed when he urinates on himself) lack the authenticity of the rest of the plot. Additionally, while most of the aforementioned gore holds up to close scrutiny, there are times when the rubbery nature of the prop lessens the desired dramatic effect, taking the viewer out of the story to contemplate the stunt itself.


But these are minor flaws in what is an undeniably impressive indie effort; Koch and Leake are clearly names to keep an eye on for the future, and 7th Day is a worthy addition to your serial killer catalog.  Available for purchase now on Amazon - click HERE to order.



--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine
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