HORROR 101 with Dr. AC

Hello, friends! Hope everyone’s 2018 is going swimmingly thus far.

The Doc’s office has been open for business and thriving amidst all manner of moving images, even extending to a few visits to the multiplex for awards season, which covered the majority of the Views during the first half of January. (Yes, we actually saw enough movies to justify two entries for the month, as the Almighty always intended.)

So, grab your plate and head to the buffet line where you can choose from fare ranging from Lovecraft adaptations and Blumhouse prequels, Kurosawa flicks that didn’t find their way into the player last year, and a bevy of “prestige” films trading time with classic B-movie action fare. Something for everyone, which is just how we like it.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) d. Flanagan, Mike (USA) (1st viewing)

Having been a vocal fan of Flanagan’s early work (Absentia, Oculus), I was slightly dismayed to find him taking on what seemed like a job-for-hire gig with Blumhouse, cranking out a prequel to the ho-hum 2014 effort based on everyone’s favorite trivet-sliding pastime (which, full disclosure, I have not seen). I mean, I get the appeal of shoring up relationships with the new millennium’s biggest producer of genre outings, but let’s hope this is a “one for them, one for you deals.”

The not-bad end-product is set in the 1960s (complete with excellent production design) and follows fake psychic Elizabeth Reaser raising two daughters on her own, the youngest of which brings home the titular board game which allows them to make contact with a malevolent spirit from the other side. Slow camera creeps and loud (if effective) jump scares ensue. Ultimately, this is standard mainstream occult fare that should please Conjuring and Insidious franchise fans – aiming squarely for the comfort food button – without breaking any new ground (although there is one genuinely creepy third-act moment involving the little girl, her sister’s new boyfriend, and a certain hole in the basement wall).

The Resurrected (1991) d. O'Bannon, Dan (USA) (2nd viewing)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW***

The Shape of Water (2017) d. del Toro, Guillermo (USA) (1st and 2nd viewings)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW***

Suspiria (1977) d. Argento, Dario (Italy) (5th viewing)

Having seen the uncut Italian print at Cinepocalypse last November, I wasn’t expecting to revisit the Italian mind-bending classic so soon. But when my buddy Tim revealed that he had picked up Synapse’s highly celebrated 4K restoration on Blu-ray (“the steelbook edition, thank you very much”) and invited me over to feast my eyes and ears in all its home-theater-surround-sound glory, there was little choice in the matter. I won’t lie: pretty sure I saw details I’d never seen before, and Goblin’s pounding esoteric score has never sounded better. Well worth the upgrade.

CIVILIAN:

Enter the Ninja (1981) d. Golan, Meneham (USA) (1st viewing)

For a movie that almost singlehandedly brought the word “ninja” into the public consciousness, there are surprisingly few of the nimble little masked bastards on screen. Couple this with the fact that star Franco Nero is clearly no martial artist himself, mostly doling out judo chops and face punches (with his enormously mustachioed stunt double earning a paycheck in the long shots), which makes it doubly bizarre that this should be the granddaddy of an entire subgenre of cheapjack action flicks. Despite these quibbles, it’s great fun watching Nero, Susan George, Christopher “no relation” George, and the man who would assume the ninja mantle for the remainder of the franchise’s run, Sho Kosugi, chew the scenery and break various balsa-wood sets to splinters.

The Founder (2016) d. Hancock, John Lee (USA) (1st viewing)

As if there weren’t already enough reasons to hate McDonald’s, here comes the based-on-true-events telling of traveling salesman Ray Kroc, who recognized the McDonald brothers’ business model of “fast food” as the game-changer it was and proceeded to straight-up steal it out from under them, building a “too big to be beaten” empire in the process. Michael Keaton is frustratingly terrific as the amoral S.O.B., with great support from Laura Dern, Nick Offerman, Patrick Wilson, and John Carroll Lynch.

The Lobster (2015) d. Lanthimos, Yorgos (Greece/Ireland) (1st viewing)

Colin Farrell stars alongside Rachel Weisz in this curious and quirky yarn about a futuristic society where the uncoupled are assigned to a countryside retreat to attempt to find a suitable mate within an allotted period of time. If a successful partnership is not achieved, the unlucky-in-love individual is transformed into an animal of his/her choosing. There are a multitude of rigid guidelines under which all of this courtship must occur, with daily “hunts” that play out like massive paintball tournaments armed with tranquilizer guns. Impressive in both imaginative and emotional scope, and while its bizarre and sometimes cruel commentary may not jive with everyone’s tastes, fans of Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) will likely find a new weirdee voice to embrace.

KUROSAWA KONT’D:

High and Low (1963) d. Kurosawa, Akira (Japan) (2nd viewing)

Loosely based on Ed McBain’s novel King’s Ransom, this electrifying crime thriller features Toshiro Mifune as a wealthy businessman who finds himself morally conflicted when kidnappers abduct his chauffeur’s son mistaking the child for Mifune’s, but demand the same ransom regardless. At once a terrific, meticulous detective story, examination of how social perception can be manipulated, and study of one man’s financial implosion resulting in his emotional salvation, this is a must-see.

Dreams (1990) d. Kurosawa, Akira (Japan/USA) (2nd viewing)

Following the critical and box office success of Ran, another five years passed before we saw another release from "The Emperor"; what finally emerged was this strange and quirky anthology comprised of eight short stories derived from the director’s nighttime slumbers. (As such, this represents Kurosawa’s sole screenwriting credit since Those Who Tread on the Tiger’s Tail in 1945.) As to be expected, there are a multitude of striking visuals (the peach orchard pageant, a squadron of revived soldiers, the world laid waste by poisonous radioactive gas, Martin Scorsese as Vincent Van Gogh), and even if the brevity of the segments keeps Dreams from packing the same emotional punch as many of his best features, it’s definitely worth your time. Longtime friend and “Father of Godzilla” Ishiro Honda served as assistant director and reportedly worked closely with Kurosawa throughout filming.

OSCAR BAIT 2017:

Battle of the Sexes (2017) d. Dayton, Jonathan / Faris, Valerie (USA) (1st viewing)

Efficient if surface flick about the classic 1973 exhibition match between tennis superstars Billie Jean King (Emma Stone) and Bobby Riggs (Steve Carell), as well as King’s self-realization as a lesbian and the pressures to keep such taboo leanings under wraps. The biggest revelation is probably how much Riggs’ chauvinistic antics were designed purely to generate publicity, and Carell does a fine job balancing the aging athlete’s desperation to remain relevant with the vibrant clowning of his public persona.

The Big Sick (2017) d. Showalter, Michael (USA) (1st viewing)

Cute autobiographical comedy/drama about an aspiring stand-up comedian (Kumail Nanjiani) and his romancing of a pale Chicago lass (Zoe Kazan) while juggling the arranged dates his Pakistani mother keeps arranging. Of course, then his lady love falls ill and he’s left spending time in waiting rooms with her parents (Ray Romano, Holly Hunter). Yes, it feels like we’ve seen this movie before, and I would have enjoyed it more if the many stand-up routines we witness had been, I don’t know, funny, but the cultural twist gives it a little extra gas. Co-written by Nanjiani and his real-life bride Emily V. Watson.

Call Me By Your Name (2017) d. Guadagnino, Luca Italy/France (1st viewing)

Another film that distinguishes itself primarily due to being a retelling of a story we’ve frequently seen told before, in this case a gay coming-of-age romance not seen through "heteronorm" eyes. Based on André Acima’s 2007 novel, this is a gorgeously produced piece superbly acted by a fine ensemble of players, and if it all feels like a bit of a romantic fantasy (especially in the case of Michael Stuhlbarg’s oh-so-very-understanding father’s final monologue)... well, so be it.

Coco (2017) d. Molina, Adrian / Unkrich, Lee (USA) (1st viewing)

The Pixar folks have done it again, with a wonderful musical tale of youth and ambition and ghosts and familia that celebrates Latina culture surrounding Dia de Los Muertos without appropriating or whitewashing. (Aladdin, anyone?)

Darkest Hour (2017) d. Wright, Joe UK (1st viewing)

It may feel a bit like an extended episode of Downton Abbey to some, but for those unfamiliar with Winston Churchill’s uphill battle to build public morale and rally military forces in the face of Hitler’s steamrolling of Western Europe, it’s a fairly thrilling ride. Of course, it’s Gary Oldman’s show, and the biggest praise I can give is that I kept forgetting it was him under the (fantastic) makeup appliances – his investment is complete and the transformation is remarkable. Makes for a terrific companion piece with Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk.

The Disaster Artist (2017) d. Franco, James (USA) (1st viewing)

Franco’s turn as Tommy Wiseau, writer/director/star of midnight movie sensation The Room, is entertaining, but never quite captures the innate sense of danger and madness one feels in the presence of the infamous auteur. He’s like the kinder, gentler, cuddlier version, which makes for a more approachable screen version, but leaves the movie a little toothless. Unfortunately, a few days later the allegations broke about Franco’s sexual harassment of his acting students, and this will probably be the last of his films I’ll be seeing for a while until things are cleared up. Because, well, #ibelievethem.

Downsizing (2017) d. Payne, Alexander (USA) (1st viewing)

Not sure why this got all the critics’ knickers in a twist, since I found it a perfectly enjoyable sci-fi/fantasy fable where, for a small (large) fee, individuals can opt to be shrunk down to five inches tall and live in “little” communities at a fraction of the living costs. Of course, even in miniature, prejudices and social disparity exist fully-formed, embodied by political prisoner Hong Chau who ends up living in a slum and cleaning the predominantly rich white people’s houses. Matt Damon, Kristin Wiig, and Christoph Waltz are the big names in the cast, but it’s Chau who runs away with the show (and having pulled up several interviews post-viewing and seeing that she is nothing like her character, I'm doubly impressed).

The Florida Project (2017) d. Baker, Sean (USA) (1st viewing)

I hadn't heard anything about this daring flick and might not have ever seen it had Willem Dafoe not been graced with a (well-deserved) SAG Awards nomination for Best Supporting Actor as the beleaguered manager of an Orlando motel in the shadow of Disneyworld. One of the tougher moviegoing experiences I've had in a while, primarily because the characters – especially Bria Vinaite’s astonishing screen debut as a single mom – are not necessarily likeable or even sympathetic much of the time. They are often rude, disrespectful, selfish, obnoxious, and apathetic, which makes it hard to empathize with or root for them. Instead, it's easier to dismiss them and walk the other way or to stand in judgment.

Which is, of course, absolutely Baker’s point. None of these characters WANTED to be where they are, but for one reason or another, here they are, trapped in this no-exit nightmare with the Magic Kingdom on the horizon and hordes of oblivious tourists flowing by. I still can't stop thinking about all of their individual stories and life choices. All of us have a past that has created our here and now and these fellow souls are no different. They deserve our time and our thoughts. This is an important film that might repel at first, but demands engagement, during, and afterwards. The first great movie I've seen in 2018.

Lady Bird (2017) d. Gerwig, Greta (USA) (1st viewing)

I liked it, because what’s there not to like about a coming-of-age tale of a rebellious teenager discovering her sexuality and independence in Sacramento, CA. It’s well performed by another marvelous cast (Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Tracy Letts, and fresh faces like Timothee Chalamet, Lucas Hedges, Jordan Rodrigues, and Beanie Feldstein) given sharp dialogue by writer/director Greta Gerwig making her solo directorial debut. Not sure I understand all the awards chatter, but I’m not going to argue against it.

Molly’s Game (2017) d. Sorkin, Aaron (USA) (1st viewing)

Emmy-and-Oscar-winning screenwriter Sorkin takes the director’s chair with this zippy yarn following the rise and fall of “poker princess” Molly Bloom (Jessica Chastain). There’s definitely an emphasis on language here, and there are times when the players seem a little too in love with the clever coming out of their mouths (looking at you, Idris Elba), but it’s well-balanced with quick-step editing and visuals.

Mudbound (2017) d. Rees, Dee (USA) (1st viewing)

Well-produced feature examining the families of two WWII veterans before and after the conflict, one white and the other black, living in rural Mississippi. I don’t know that we see much we haven’t seen before (deplorable racism, disenchantment following the war, familial disconnect), but the performances are all excellent and, once again, the fact that it’s directed by a female of color is worthy of note and celebration at its recognition by the industry.

The Post (2017) d. Spielberg, Steven (USA) (1st viewing)

Considering it all happened in the days before the 24-hour news cycle, I suppose it’s possible that many younger viewers are unaware of the struggle The Washington Post (and indeed, the free press in toto) faced in bringing the “Pentagon Papers” stories to light and what it could have meant had the Supreme Court upheld the White House’s desire to suppress them. For those who are in the know, we see the back-and-forth between WP editor-in-chief Ben Bradlee (Tom Hanks, playing at gravelly gravitas) and newly appointed publisher Kay Graham (Meryl Streep, a symphony of insecurities and privilege and newly dawning independence and power). It didn’t change my world and it never really approaches the fever-pitch of All the President’s Men. It’s not bad, but considering the talent pool involved, that’s not exactly good either.

Roman J. Israel, Esq. (2017) d. Gilroy, Dan (USA) (1st viewing)

Denzel Washington plays a savant-like lawyer who, when his partner falls ill, loses his footing and place in his well-ordered world. We haven’t seen the star play a character like this before, so there’s that, and there are a number of unexpected twists and turns to the storyline, but I doubt this is one that many people will be talking about much beyond awards season.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) d. McDonagh, Martin (USA) (1st viewing)

There’s no denying the volcanic acting power of Frances McDormand as she sinks her fangs into the role of a mother seeking justice for the vicious rape and murder of her teenage daughter. Likewise, writer/director McDonagh (In Bruges, Seven Psychopaths) has surrounded her with a fantastic cast (Woody Harrelson, Sam Rockwell, Abbie Cornish, Caleb Landry-Jones, Zeljko Ivanek, Peter Dinklage, and John Hawkes) spouting endlessly quotable lines. Yes, there’s an undeniable theatrical artifice to it all, but it’s enthusiastically executed and unflagging in terms of narrative drive.

2017 Totals to date: 23 films, 19 1st time views, 3 horror, 5 cinema

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Greetings and Happy (Bloody) Valentines Day, kids!

Here’s the back half of January, which wasn’t nearly as madcap as the first, being that we had already knocked out all of the SAG nominees and were left to polish off the remaining unseen features from both Michael Haneke and Wes Anderson (strange bedfellows indeed), as well as revisiting a couple Corman quickies. We also got out to the cinema a couple more times, sharing an evening of conversation with Michael Shannon at DePaul University following a screening of Take Shelter hosted by the peerless Peter Steeves, as well as a midnight screening of the cautionary tale that is Wild Beasts (“This is your brain. This is your brain trampled by zoo animals hopped up on angel dust.”)

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Opera (1987) d. Argento, Dario (Italy) (3rd viewing)

I have a very personal connection with this one, as it’s the first that I watched knowing this was “a Dario Argento film.” (I had seen Suspiria several years earlier but hadn’t registered the director’s name.) Happily, it’s also one of his best, a near-perfect distillation of his fascination with gore, flashy camerawork, beautiful women in terrible trouble, and bizarre dream logic that exists only to shock and surprise viewers. I would say that it vies with Tenebrae for the bronze meatball (with Suspiria and Deep Red wrestling for the gold and silver), with insane swooping Steadicam shots and exploding viscera punctuating nearly every frame.

Story? Oh, right, that. Young opera soprano understudy Betty (Cristina Marsillach) is thrust into stardom after the resident diva has a literal run-in with a car outside the theater, but the production of Macbeth in which she is performing seems to be “cursed,” with vicious murders occurring around every corner. To further complicate matters, the black-gloved killer keeps tying up our poor songbird and taping strips of needles under her eyes such that she cannot close them, forced to witness these heinous, bloody deeds.

The acting is enthusiastically stilted, the script doesn’t make a lick of sense, and the ending will explode several synapses, but that’s all part of the fun. Many thanks to Ian Simmons and Jason Coffman for sitting down over at Chez AC to viddy the recent Blu-ray issue from Doppelganger Films and Scorpion Releasing. We chatted about it HERE for Kicking the Seat– give a listen.

https://www.musicboxfilms.com/dario-argento-s-opera-movies-168.php

Take Shelter (2011) d. Nichols, Jeff (USA) (2nd viewing)

Blue-collar worker Michael Shannon starts experiencing horrific visions of an apocalyptic storm to come – is he a prophet or merely going off the deep end? Nichols, who directed his own script, keeps us guessing at all times, injecting Shannon’s schizophrenic mother (Kathy Baker) and a healthy dose of self-doubt into the mix, further complicated by his protagonist’s refusal to confide in an understandably frustrated wife Jessica Chastain. Things come to a head when Shannon begins expanding the backyard tornado shelter, an endeavor that strains not only the family finances, but the understanding of his community. A slow burn to be sure, but Nichols and his star hold our sympathies and attention throughout.

Teenage Caveman (1958) d. Corman, Roger (USA) (2nd viewing)

I don’t know if it’s the political climate or what, but somehow this cheapie programmer about our titular young punk railing against the rules of the old white guys running the tribe really got me riled up this time around. In the same way that I am consistently shocked that a certain president wannabe can dismiss anything that interferes with his worldview by simply saying “Fake news” or “That’s a lie” and CONTINUALLY GET AWAY WITH IT, similarly Robert Vaughn’s truth-seeking and tradition-challenging (can we say “progressive” or, god help me, “liberal”) protagonist’s leanings to assist his fellow rock thumpers are repeatedly derailed by a particularly cantankerous conservative (Frank De Kova, who might as well be wearing a red MAGA cap) and his appeals to uphold the outdated values of “The Law.” I’m sure that back in the late 50s, Corman was simply looking to make a quick buck with the drive-in crowd, but he also knew the politics of the disenfranchised all-too-well and how easily fear can be wielded to keep the masses in their place. It ain’t high art, but it’s lively and enjoyable, with additional points for the twist ending.

Wild Beasts (1984) d. Prosperi, Franco (Italy) (2nd viewing)

Perhaps the most bonkers “nature gone wild” flick I’ve ever seen (which is saying something, being an avid fan of the subgenre), and it was a twisted delight to see it on the big screen of Chicago’s own Music Box Theatre. Then again, when the Italians are behind said endeavors, we shouldn’t be too surprised, right? A (completely unexplained) batch of PCP ends up in the water supply of the local zoo, causing all the animals to go bananas. Humanity is subsequently laid waste as elephants, cheetahs, bears, and rats tear up the joint. PETA members never need see this movie, because animals were most definitely hurt during filming, as well as numerous stunt people and “actors.”

CIVILIAN:

Bottle Rocket (1996) d. Anderson, Wes (USA) (1st viewing)

I’m genuinely sorry it took me so long to finally get around to checking out Anderson’s debut feature, but I also understand why I didn’t take note at first – the poster art and promotional tags make it seem like just another Tarantino rip-off (and those of us who were around in the mid-90s remember how many of those there were… and how few of them were worth our time). Instead, it’s a sharply funny and energetic character study of inept criminals and friendship rivalry and thunderbolt love affairs, and while I’m still confused why anyone would cast Luke Wilson and Owen Wilson in the same movie but NOT as brothers when it’s so clearly obvious that they ARE, in fact, brothers, it’s probably my favorite thing that I’ve ever seen either of them do (although Owen’s turn in The Minus Man is right up there). I’ve now seen all of Anderson’s features, and this is in the top five for sure.

The Castle (1997) d. Haneke, Michael (Germany/Austria) (1st viewing)

This adaptation of Kafka’s novel hit German TV screens the same year Funny Games was released, with three of that film’s stars (Ulrich Muhe, Susanne Lothar, Frank Giering) featured prominently, making for curious companion pieces. Legitimately funny and bleakly blithe, there’s a wealth of joyful absurdism on display that proves just as frustrating for the viewer as our protagonist K (Muhe), a land surveyor trapped in a labyrinth of bureaucracy, inefficiency, and straight-up idiocy. Easily the funniest thing Haneke has ever done, yet completely in keeping with the rest of his oeuvre.

A Man Called Ove (2015) d. Holm, Hannes (Sweden) (1st viewing)

An ill-tempered widower (Rolf Lassgard) spends his days enforcing the strict rules of his quiet gated community (and his nights contemplating suicide) until a young couple moves in, striking up a unlikely friendship with the professional curmudgeon. Unabashedly sentimental and really, really good at it, with superb performances all around as we flash back and forth between the grumpy present and the less-grumpy past to show how it got that way. Based on Fredrik Bachman’s bestseller.

Nocturnal Animals (2016) d. Ford, Tom (USA) (1st viewing)

Fine mind-bender/page-turner about a successful but disenchanted artist (Amy Adams) who receives a manuscript of a new novel by her ex-husband (Jake Gyllenhaal) that spins the yarn of a young couple (Gyllenhaal, playing his own protagonist, and Isla Fisher) and their teen daughter (Ellie Bamber) who are terrorized on the highway by a trio of thugs (led by Aaron Taylor-Johnson). Michael Shannon earned an Oscar nod for his crackling turn as a laconic lawman with his own sense of justice. Minor quibble: Did writer/director Ford really need two separate credits on the poster?

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1976) d. Ross, Herbert (USA) (1st viewing)

Not sure what took me so long to sit down with this pleasant curiosity scripted by Nicholas Meyer (Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, Time After Time) that sends the manic and cocaine-addicted Sherlock Holmes (Nicol Williamson) to Vienna to cross brainwaves with eminent psychologist Sigmund Freud (Alan Arkin). Robert Duvall is bizarrely cast as upright Brit and Holmes pal Dr. Watson; while he does fine in the role, one never stops being jarred by seeing Tom Hagen affecting an upper crust accent. Still, any film where a matter of honor is decided by a tennis match and concludes with the great detective swordfighting for truth and justice atop a speeding locomotive is worth seeing at least once.

If the director’s name seems familiar, you’re ahead of the game – I was stunned to learn that Ross helmed not only a number of classic ’70s “women’s pictures” (The Turning Point, The Goodbye Girl), but also a number of musicals (Goodbye Mr. Chips, Pennies from Heaven), Neil Simon comedies (California Suite, The Sunshine Boys), plus Steel Magnolias and Footloose! Why isn’t this guy a household name?????

True Detective: Season 1 (2014) d. Fukunaga, Cary Joji (USA) (1st viewing)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s a television show but since it covers a single narrative plot and all eight episodes are directed by the same fellow, I’m counting it. Deserving of all the praise, with the small caveat that I could have done with about one-third of McConaughey’s interrogation room sequences – all the sighing and aluminum can sculpturing started to feel pretty indulgent about four hours in. Don’t know if I’ll get around to Season 2, since it didn’t get the same universal love, but I’m not sorry I invested in this one.

Viking Women and the Sea Serpent (1957) d. Corman, Roger (USA) (2nd viewing)

Officially titled “The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent,” this is a pretty darn enjoyable programmer featuring a cadre of beautiful ladies off to rescue their men from the clutches of an evil tyrant (Richard Devon) whilst dodging big puppet water dragons and mysterious vortexes. Corman regular Jonathan Haze (best known for playing the nebbish Seymour in The Little Shop of Horrors) gets to butch (and blond!) it up as the ladies’ escort and mascot, with future Wasp Woman star Susan Cabot burning up the screen as a duplicitous dark-haired temptress with her eye on hunky Gary Conway (I was a Teenage Frankenstein) who has his eye on gorgeous blond Abby Dalton. Jay Sayer is super awesome as Devon’s super whiny Junior Tyrant.

2017 Totals to date: 35 films, 19 1st time views, 14 horror, 7 cinema

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Howdy, folks!

Well, the first half of the shortest month of the year went by in a flash, with most of the flickage once again being supplied by our friends at the public library. Mighty pleased with the fare those good folks provide.

I’m thinking of starting a new feature where I tell why I chose to watch what I did, although sometimes I wonder if the explanation might not be longer than the review itself. For example, I picked up The Last of Sheila because it was mentioned by several people as their favorite Herbert Ross film when I mentioned the director in my recent post featuring The Seven-Per-Cent Solution. Seeing James Coburn in Sheila sparked interest in seeing more of the actor, resulting in What Did You Do in the War, Daddy?

While Silent Night Deadly Night 3 has been on my radar for years due to its more famous predecessors, I finally got to see it thanks to my Belgian blood brother Gert shipping it from a local VHS dealer to the Doc’s office and asking me to forward it on to him. Hara-kiri was prompted by a discussion with a fellow gym member who had seen a pile of Kurosawa flicks I was returning, and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome because, well, “Who run Bordertown?????”

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

It (2017) d. Muschietti, Andy (USA) (1st viewing)

I was never a huge fan of the TV miniseries (yeah, yeah, Tim Curry, blah blah blah), but I also wasn’t a big fan of Mama, so the excitement level about this updated adaptation of the mammoth Stephen King novel was restrained at best. Bottom line: it’s fine. It does serve as a satisfying coming-of-age tale complete with a “superfriends big battle” to send the crowds out feeling like they got their money’s worth. But it’s never really scary, which is a problem when you’re making a horror film. Also, I’m going to say that for an R-rated horror film, I wanted more R-rated material – listening to Finn Wolfhard say the F-word every other line isn’t what I had in mind. Pony up with some gore, some nudity, and/or some genuine frights. Ripping a little kid’s arm off in the opening reel was a good start, but nothing even comes close to that level of danger again.

The characters also never really grow in interesting ways; they bicker amongst themselves and bond to fight the Capital-E Evil that terrorizes their town, but despite some lovely moments (the rock fight, Bev’s interactions with the boys), the overall product feels both thin and bloated. These are quibbles and I repeat, it’s not a terrible movie or a waste of time. It’s just perfectly okay, which is not what I expected from the highest-grossing R-rated movie of all time. Or maybe it is.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989) d. Hellman, Monte (USA) (1st viewing)

Ricky, the Santa-suited maniac from the notorious 1984 slasher flick is back for more holiday havoc, only this time they’ve added brain-transplant nonsense into the mix such that we have dead-eyed Bill Moseley stumbling around with a giant plastic punchbowl on his cranium and murder on his muddled mind. He’s also inexplicably brain-melded with the bitchiest blind girl on the block (Samantha Scully), and spends the majority of the movie tracking her down at a deserted cabin in the woods where she and her brother have gone off to visit Gramma for the holidays. Director Hellman is a long, long way from his Ride in the Whirlwind and Two-Lane Blacktop artistic heyday.

What’s really weird is that absolutely NOTHING is done with the fact that Scully’s character is supposedly psychic. I mean, seriously, there’s no payoff AT ALL. She receives some telepathic messages from Granny, but all she gets told is to stand strong and be brave. Um…thankssss? Laura Elena Harring (Mulholland Dr.) is billed as “Laura Herring,” and is kind enough to provide some eye comfort amidst the doldrums. Not completely horrible, and doesn’t recycle nearly as much footage as Silent Night Deadly Night 2, but still a far cry from the original’s particular brand of December deliciousness. I mean, why would you hire frickin’ Chop Top from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and then not let him do anything?

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) d. Trachtenberg, Dan (USA) (1st viewing)

Not sure why I didn’t get around to it sooner, other than the fact that it seemed to kind of come and go without too many people talking about it other than, “yeah, that was pretty good.” It was my understanding that there was a “connection” to the original film (which is certainly true-ish), but couldn’t glean much more than that, so I was coming in relatively cold and I’m mighty glad that my viewing experience remained unspoiled two years later, because there are numerous twists and turns that deserve to unfold as intended. John Goodman stars as an odd rural recluse who has built an airtight disaster shelter, with Mary Elizabeth Winstead as his unwitting car accident rescue/hostage. He tells her it’s unsafe outside, following some sort of “attack,” and he’s not ready to open the hatch and risk their lives to prove that he’s telling the truth. Or is he just crazycakes and holding her against her will? Oddly enough, it stumbled into my hands the day before The Cloverfield Paradox premiered on Super Bowl Sunday. Talk about timing!

The Transfiguration (2016) d. O'Shea, Michael (USA) (1st viewing)

Milo (Eric Ruffin), the lonely young protagonist of this contemplative urban horror flick, has a strict classification system for vampire films: Those that are “realistic” and those that are “not very realistic.” Taking a page from George Romero’s Martin, Larry Fessenden’s Habit, and Abel Ferrara’s The Addiction, we are presented with a lead character convinced that he might be turning into a vampire… or is he slipping deeper into mental illness and delusion due to an inability to deal with the world around him? It doesn’t matter to the unsuspecting victims whether anything supernatural is going on, since our young hero is murdering them and drinking their blood regardless. The compulsion is there, and the guilt and subsequent justification (“I’m a monster, there’s nothing I can do about it”) continues the cycle of violence.

What sets writer/director O’Shea’s debut effort apart is that Milo is a young African-American lad growing up in inner city NYC (Rockaway Beach) wrestling with everyday struggles like gang violence, bullying, drug use, and an elder brother stricken with PTSD from combat in Afghanistan. When he meets his teen neighbor Sophie (Chloe Levine), herself a victim of sexual and physical abuse, the two outcasts instantly bond, and we spend the rest of the film wondering if Milo will be able to break free from his “curse,” be it vampiric or psychopathic. Deliberately paced and stripped of flashy sequences of gore or transformation, this is decidedly a “thinking person’s horror film,” evidenced by the numerous film festival laurels it has garnered (including a Grand Jury Award at the Dublin International Film Festival). As such, it likely will reach a select but appreciative crowd, but patience and managed expectations are in order.

CIVILIAN:

Hara-kiri (1962) d. Kobayashi, Masaki (Japan) (1st viewing)

Engaging, sumptuously realized sociopolitical drama, starring Tatsuya Nakadai (veteran of numerous Kurosawa efforts, including Yojimbo, Kagemusha, and Ran) as a masterless samurai who pleads with the neighboring lord to be allowed to use the estate’s courtyard to commit the titular ritual suicide. The lord acquiesces, while sharing the tragic account of another samurai who had previously made a similar request. The two storylines are played out via flashback, and it soon becomes clear that they are not only similar in trajectory, but intimately connected. While not an action film, per se, the film does conclude with an impressive display of swordplay and bloodshed. I will definitely be seeking out further Kobayashi titles.

Hunt for the Winterpeople (2016) d. Waititi, Taika (New Zealand) (1st viewing)

Sandwiched between his breakout vampire comedy What We Do in the Shadows and the Marvel blockbuster Thor: Ragnrok, Waititi served up this quirky feel-good tale of a young delinquent (Julian Dennison) sent to live with a foster family on their remote farm. Sam Neil headlines as the grouchy grandfather figure, with Rima Te Wiata (Housebound) briefly playing his delightfully gabby better half, but when her character passes away, the social services converge to take the child back. Of course, before they can get there, Neil and the youth have formed a bond and strike out on their own to avoid the authorities. Wacky hijinks ensue, and while said adventures are often strange and unexpected, it all comes off a little too mannered and purposefully bizarre to earn genuine laughs.

The Last of Sheila (1973) d. Ross, Herbert (USA) (1st viewing)

All-star whodunit (scripted by Stephen Sondheim and Anthony Perkins – yes, Mr. Musical Theatre and Norman Bates) with a gaggle of Hollywood types gathered together at millionaire James Coburn’s yacht for a weekend of gamesmanship and intrigue. Of course, when one of their party winds up dead, the race is on to discover who the murderer is, as well as a motive and a means! The plot twists are plentiful, but the real pleasure comes from watching the cast (Richard Benjamin, Dyan Cannon, James Mason, Raquel Welch, Joan Hackett, and a shockingly handsome and dashing Ian McShane) dive headlong into the zaniness. Another gem from underrated director Ross (Goodbye Girl, California Suite). Trivia: That’s Yvonne Romain (the sexy serving girl who gives birth to Oliver Reed in Hammer’s Curse of the Werewolf) as Sheila!

Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (1985) d. Miller, George / Ogilve, George (Australia) (1st viewing)

I never made the effort to track this one down before now – no one had chatted it up as a must-see, giving higher kudos to the previous two Mad Max installments (which I have seen multiple times). Packed with memorably weird characters surrounding Mel Gibson’s effortlessly cool dystopian antihero, there’s plenty to appreciate here, although as with the previous installments, the strength lies in the action sequences (which Miller handled), in particular the gladiator-style Thunderdome battles and the climactic escape by train with all manner of souped-up gas-burning vehicles in pursuit across the desert. Yes, the middle sequence where Max comes across a community comprised entirely of children drags a bit, but Mel gets to do the cool trick with the weird rifle, so we’ll let it slide. I also offer that the opening title credits song “One of the Living,” recorded by co-star Tina Turner, is infinitely better than her closing titles hit, “We Don’t Need Another Hero.”

Tangerine (2015) d. Baker, Sean (USA) (1st viewing)

Following my viewing of The Florida Project last month, I was encouraged by a number of people to track down Baker’s previous film (reportedly shot entirely on iPhone) which follows a tangled web of lower-class fringe types (transsexual sex workers, taxi drivers, drug dealers) through an evening’s escapades. Again, Baker provides characters who are not necessarily likeable or morally upstanding, but by making them the center of attention instead of pushing them to the gutter (like in, oh, real life), the viewer is forced to acknowledge and humanize them. It doesn’t hurt that he knows how to make a story move, his restless camera blazing along at high speed mirroring the emotions and temperaments of its subjects, while still delivering aesthetically pleasing images. It’s kind of a miracle, and I’m definitely on board to see what next strange new world he elects to put in front of me.

War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) d. Reeves, Matt (USA) (1st viewing)

When choosing whether to see this or Spiderman: Homecoming in the cinema last summer (I was doing an all-day movie spree, so it was all about the timing), I had a bit of a revelation: The reason I – and I assume many others – loved the original Planet of the Apes series was the charm of seeing human actors dressed up as kinda-sorta apes dressed up as humans. The fact that Roddy McDowall and Kim Hunter were able to express themselves through the elaborate makeups, creating empathetic and heroic protagonists in the process, was a lovely magic trick, providing the majority of the appeal. Simple as that. Somehow, 40 years later, watching a motion-capture performance (Andy Serkis) of a photorealistic simian leader just isn’t the same.

I say all this to explain why I ultimately elected to watch the web-slinger’s antics last August (meh), but that I’m happy to report that while I doubt I will ever feel the same nostalgic pull toward it, this presumably final installment of Reeves’ trilogy is far and away the most satisfying from a storytelling and action-set-piece perspective. Woody Harrelson plays a hardcore warmongering colonel waging the last stand against his simian foes (and other humans who find his tactics untenable), and it serves the turn even if it feels fairly generic. I’ve never felt any desire to revisit Rise or Dawn, but I could see myself going back foranother round of War.

What Did You Do in the War, Daddy? (1966) d. Edwards, Blake (USA) (1st viewing)

How’s THAT for a segue? Big budget silliness as only the guy who directed the Pink Panther movies could deliver. Which is to say, it’s loud and energetic and obnoxious without necessarily being funny. James Coburn and Dick Shawn star as a couple of Allied officers who stumble into an Italian village demanding surrender during WWII, only to have the locals more than cooperative…as long as they are allowed to throw their annual bacchanal festival. Everyone gets drunk, everyone gets laid, everyone fist-fights, and everyone has a great time until those pesky Nazis show up to ruin the fun. Giovanna Ralli is gorgeous to look at and possesses great comic timing – why she didn’t have a bigger career in U.S. films (though genre fans might recognize her from What Have They Done to Your Daughters?), I’ll never know.

NO PRYOR EXPERIENCE:

Stir Crazy (1980) d. Poitier, Sidney (USA) (1st viewing)

I recently stumbled across the DVD for this hit prison comedy starring Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor, directed by Sidney Poitier of all people, whereupon it occurred to me that not only had I never seen it before (despite seeing countless commercials for countless TV airings, always with the “That’s right, we bad” clip), I had never seen A SINGLE RICHARD PRYOR COMEDY BEFORE. This seemed an unfortunate omission in my cinephile catalog, so I promptly brought it home, popped it in, and… it was mildly amusing, nothing more. More than anything, I was surprised by the second act’s out-of-left-field “prison rodeo competition,” and how uncharismatic Pryor was. It’s Wilder’s show all the way, and while he does trot out his standard hysterical (as in mounting, high-pitched crazy, not hilarious) shtick, it works more often than not. JoBeth Williams lends considerable appeal in an underwritten role as the duo’s lawyer’s assistant. In other news, zero points for the idiots who came up with the poster’s tagline.

Richard Pryor: Omit the Logic (2013) d. Zenovich, Marina (USA) (1st viewing)

Following my viewing of Stir Crazy, I felt compelled to dig a little deeper into the appeal of the groundbreaking comedian who, strangely enough, was apparently never given the opportunity to explore his fiery creativity and rebellious nature in his big screen appearances. This sharply insightful documentary explores the forces that created the man (his prostitute mother, his homosexual father, his no-nonsense grandmother), the “blue” stand-up routines that shocked audiences and catapulted him to stardom, and the addiction to drugs and alcohol that plagued him throughout his life. While I’ve only seen his stand-up material (and now Stir Crazy), Zenovich’s narrative indicates that Hollywood never knew quite what to do with Pryor, plugging him into generic comedies to play the grumpy but loveable clown (four times alongside Gene Wilder), and that his strongest work lay in his dramatic roles (Blue Collar, Lady Sings the Blues, Bingo Long and the Traveling All-Stars). I’ll probably seek out a few more of his better-known titles over the next few months to create a more fully informed opinion.

2017 Totals to date: 48 films, 32 1st time views, 18 horror, 7 cinema

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Hey troops,

As I write this, the snow has returned to Chicago, which is appropriate for recounting the Views from the bountiful back half of February. (I have a feeling things are going to slow down a bit in the upcoming months, as I start rehearsals for a couple of new stage projects, but we shall see what we shall see.)

Dipped into a few more Richard Pryor flicks, as well as catching up with a couple of hot recent horror releases, with the Chicago Cinema Society and the Chicago Public Library to thank for the rest! May they forever remain funded and inspired.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

The Blackcoat's Daughter (aka February) (2015) d. Perkins, Oz (Canada) (1st viewing)

Solid, tense, and atmospheric chiller about an out-of-the-way boarding school for girls (and the dark secrets within) earns its biggest points for never quite heading the direction you think it’s going. In fact, this may also prove to be its biggest detriment, because once the mystery is finally revealed, the simplicity of the story itself could potentially prove disappointing, i.e., “Wait, that was it?” But the ride is skillfully handled by writer/director Perkins (son of Anthony), who has assembled an incredible trio of young performers (Emma Roberts, Kiernan Shipka, Lucy Boynton) and surrounded them with veterans (James Remar, Lauren Holly, Greg Ellwand) who underplay every moment to great effect. Special mention to the sonic marriage of composer Elvis Perkins (the director’s brother) and sound designer Allan Fung, who imbue even the most benign of settings with unbearable menace and doom.

Coherence (2013) d. Byrkit, James Ward (USA) (2nd viewing)

A group of friends (and the occasional former lover) meet up for dinner and drinks the night a mysterious comet passes overhead. Soon, phones stop working, lights conk out, suspicions arise… And. Crazy. Shit. Goes. Down. Smart but accessible no-budget “alternate reality” sci-fi/fantasy in the vein of Timecrimes and Primer that challenges and engages without breaking its internal logic. To reveal more would be a disservice to any potential viewer, but you owe it to yourself to track this one down ASAP and watch the mystery unfold and refold in on itself until your brain is scrambled. Not particularly frightening or gory, but unquestionably unnerving.

The Forest (2016) d. Zada, Jason (USA) (1st viewing)

When a Sara’s identical twin sister Jess (both played by Natalie Dormer) disappears into Japan’s infamous “suicide forest,” she makes a desperate journey across the globe to track her down, sensing in that inexplicable twin fashion that her sibling is still alive. She secures the assistance of an American reporter Aiden (Chicago Fire’s Taylor Kinney) in search of a story, who provides a local guide, Michi (Yukiyoshi Ozawa), and soon the three are deep in the woods, going on little but instinct and hope. When they stumble across the missing girl’s tent at nightfall, Michi demands they come back in the morning, not wishing to be in the forest at night. Sara, and Aiden, after some persuading, decide to stay, and the mysterious environs begin to work dark magic on their imaginations… or it this reality? A competent enough time-waster with spooky Asian apparitions and jump scares aplenty, but nothing that will stay with you.

Jungle Trap (1990/2016) d. Bryan, James (USA) (1st viewing)

Made in 1990 by the same creative spirits who spawned such legendary Turkeys as Don’t Go in the Woods… Alone! (director James) and Frozen Scream (star and screenwriter Renee Harmon) and never completed. That is, until the good folks at Bleeding Skull resurrected this (cough, cough, cough) lost classick after discovering the incomplete footage in the director’s barn and mounting a Kickstarter to put the pieces together and enlisting the skills of composers Annie Choi and Joseph A. Ziemba to create a perfectly authentic ear-numbing late ’80s synthesizer soundtrack.

The “plot” revolves Harmon’s museum curator heading up an expedition to an abandoned South American hotel to find a lost idol, said hotel being populated by the bloodthirsty and pissed-off spirits of a slaughtered native tribe. Our intrepid band of would-be Indiana Joneses are felled one by one, but they put up a good fight, especially since the ghostly warriors keep coming through the same damn window directly across from where the survivors have bunkered down. It’s all a bit of a car crash, filled with amateur-hour thesping, craptastic “gore” effects, and Bill Luce as the most flamboyantly drunk bush pilot this side of the Pecos River, but that’s all kind of the point, I think. Many thanks to the Chicago Cinema Society and Chicago Filmmakers for hosting an unforgettable evening!

http://bleedingskull.com/jungle-trap-bsv-007/

CIVILIAN:

The Sword and the Claw (aka Kilic Aslan) (1975) d. Baytan, Naytuk (Turkey) (1st viewing)

A few years back, I was introduced to Death Warrior (1982), a spectacularly insane Turkish martial arts extravaganza utilizing its director/star Cuynet Arkin’s penchant for acrobatics and trampoline prowess. It never occurred to me to explore his catalog further, but when his face popped up in this most recent release from the American Genre Film Archive, I instantly sat up and took notice. Once again, there is much bounding and bouncing and pounding and pouncing, all in the service of a simple but bananas plot about a ruthless tribal leader who murders his enemies (who have offered a truce, by the way) and the child who grows to become a great warrior destined avenge his father’s death. Did I mention that our hero was also raised by lions? And that he has a half-brother who is the son of the very warlord he has sworn to kill? And that they are both in love with the same girl? Don’t worry, everything zips by so quickly and with the earnestness and energy of a five-year-old schoolboy’s fevered imagination that you’ll hardly have time to register the illogic of one scene before another rolls along to eclipse it. Utterly bonkers and proud of it. Available now on Blu-ray from the AGFA.

https://www.americangenrefilm.com/releases/the-sword-and-the-claw/

Unforgettable (2017) d. Di Novi, Denise (USA) (1st viewing)

Rosario Dawson may have the starring role, but it’s Katherine Heigl who runs away with this ridiculous Lifetime Channel-ready thriller as the tightly wound perfectionist ex-wife of successful small-town business owner Geoff Stults who isn’t quite ready to move on with her life and CERTAINLY isn’t ready for her former mister to move on with his. Screenwriter Christina Hodson comes up with some real lulus for Heigl’s ice queen antagonist to stick it to her romantic rival, and it’s clear from the get-go which character she’s more interested in. Dawson is just there to be an emotional and physical punching bag for Heigl’s ragebeast, and I can only hope it was therapeutic for all involved. The ending doesn’t feel entirely earned, only because the characters never act like actual human beings but rather mere puppets of punishment with Hodson and Di Novi wielding the strings. Still, it’s tawdry and melodramatic fun if, despite its title, ultimately forgettable.

PRYOR CONVICTIONS:

Silver Streak (1976) d. Hiller, Arthur (USA) (1st viewing)

The biggest surprise is that Richard Pryor doesn’t show up until a full hour into the proceedings, but once he does, he wastes no time in stealing the show as a motormouth thief with a penchant for fast cars and mischief. The second biggest surprise was how, even though the characters have some funny reactions and dialogue, it’s more of a fast-paced an action/thriller than a straight-up comedy. Gene Wilder is an editor for a publishing company on the Los Angeles-to-Chicago train who meets sexy Jill Clayburgh and the two are having a lovely cross-country tryst when her boss turns up dead and the lovebirds become targets.

007 villain Richard Kiel shows up, complete with his Jaws teeth for the next year’s The Spy Who Loved Me (?), as well as a number of fantastic character faces (Clifton James, Ray Walston, Patrick McGoohan, Ned Beatty, Scatman Crothers, Valerie Curtain, Fred Willard). The running gag of Wilder getting thrown off the train shockingly never gets old, mostly due to the skilled actor’s complete disbelief that it’s happening to him again, and the crashing-through-Union-Station finale still packs a wow. Hiller had some definite highs (The Out-of-Towners, Love Story, The In-Laws) and lows (Nightwing, Author! Author!) over his long career, and this is an unqualified win.

Richard Pryor: Live on the Sunset Strip (1982) d. Layton, Joe (USA) (2nd viewing)
Richard Pryor: Here and Now (1983) d. Pryor, Richard (USA) (2nd viewing)

Following a tragic cocaine-freebasing/self-immolation incident of June 9, 1980, which resulted in second-and-third degree burns over nearly 60% of his body, and his slow but subsequent recovery both physically and addiction-wise, Pryor recorded these two live-concert stand-up films which show a more vulnerable but still sharp, dangerous, and amazingly funny artist in his truest element. Much has been made about his candor in dealing with his “accident” (although in truth he was not immediately forthright, saying that his pipe smoking apparatus had exploded, causing the fire), and the audience is certainly sympathetic and receptive, but even more affecting (for this viewer at least) are his revelations about his subsequent sojourn to Africa and the pleasures of not being a minority, a black face in a sea of black faces. “I will never use that [N-] word again.” That said, he doesn’t shy away from condemning both blacks and whites for the ongoing racial divide, nor does he suffer hecklers lightly. A terrific one-two punch, granting fans a glimpse at the man following the wake-up call.

Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life is Calling (1986) d. Pryor, Richard (USA) (1st viewing)

Deeply autobiographical (though for some reason his alter ego grows up in small-town Ohio as opposed to Peoria, IL) film covers several key episodes and player’s in the comedian’s life, including his prostitute mother, his less-than-encouraging father, his string of failed marriages, and, of course, the drugs and alcohol issues that took their tolls in various ways. Not a great movie, as it’s a little disjointed, and many of the serious moments ring of melodrama and the scenes of him “killing” in the comedy clubs aren’t as hilarious as the howling onscreen throngs would have us believe. Even so, it it’s a rare display of a superstar nakedly laying it all on the table and saying, “Have a look, folks,” and it’s hard not to admire that.

2017 Totals to date: 58 films, 39 1st time views, 22 horror, 8 cinema

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Greetings, my friends!

Well, March came and went and while I didn’t spend a ton of time consistently watching the flickers (trying to memorize lines for my next stage endeavor, a production of The Woman in Black out at Artists Ensemble), I apparently managed to put together enough short, controlled bursts of viewing to add up to a pretty decent tally. A day at the multiplex yielded some winners, among them the Jason Bateman vehicle Game Night, which prompted me to raid the Chicago Public Library’s stash to catch up on other flicks of his I had missed.

It was also funny to see two of this year’s “projects” – actor Richard Pryor and director Herbert Ross – had actually collaborated on 1978’s California Suite. Gotta love the two birds with one stone.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Annihilation (2018) d. Garland, Alex (UK/USA) (1st viewing)

Written and directed by the fellow who helmed the terrific Ex Machina two years back and provided the screenplays for 28 Days Later and Sunshine, this is another solid entry, although one that doesn’t resonate with quite the same emotional weight as the aforementioned efforts. It’s absolutely worth celebrating the fact that this is a full-blooded and heady sci-fi/horror featuring a cast of primarily female performers (headlined by Natalie Portman and Jennifer Jason Leigh), especially because of the fact that these characters (at least from my male gaze standpoint, skewed as it undeniably is) actually seem to behave like women. I found myself often imagining what the film would be like if the genders had been switched, i.e. “traditional” and it would not have looked like this. The conflicts within the group would have probably been handled differently (more chest-thumping machismo), and I imagine the relationships would have been more isolated as opposed to the connectedness on display here.

All that said, I found myself appreciating it more intellectually than viscerally or emotionally, and I’d like to say that I have been able to connect with Bechtel-test material in the past, so it’s not that I wasn’t engaged due to gender. I just think it thought that it was smarter than it actually was, and the vagueness of the hows and whys seemed just that.

Colossal (2016) d. Vigalondo, Nacho (Canada/US/Spain) (1st viewing)

Anne Hathaway is wonderful as a drunk socialite who so completely self-sabotages her career and relationships that she is forced to return to her childhood small-town burg to live in her parents’ abandoned home because no one else will have her. Rekindling a tenuous childhood friendship with the local tavern owner Oscar (Jason Sudeikis) seems to be a step in the right direction, which is just about the time an enormous monster randomly appears in Seoul, Korea, and it soon becomes clear that our heroine’s fate is undeniably connected with the rampaging beast.

At first, I was on the fence as to whether to include this as a horror offering, despite the fact that its entire premise revolves around giant kaiju threatening an Asian populace. But by the end, as things grow less fanciful and darker and more serious, such concerns melted away. Monsters appear in human form as well as the gigantic and bizarre, and – as is so often the way – they are the more chilling. The performers completely ground the outlandish premise, yet it’s writer/director Vigalondo’s (Timecrimes, Extraterrestrial) curious blend of comedy and genuine human emotion that somehow keep it from fully taking flight, perhaps because it takes itself TOO seriously, particularly regarding Oscar’s third-act arc. (That said, it all feels true to his character, so who knows?) I only know that I came away wanting to love it and could only admit to liking it, for whatever that’s worth.

Happy Death Day (2017) d. Landon, Christopher (USA) (1st viewing)

Calling this “Groundhog Day meets Scream” might seem too blunt a summarization, but considering it treats both ends of its inspiration with deep respect, delivering smarts, scares, gasps, and guffaws in equal measure, it’s actually an accurate description and an intended compliment. Much of the success is due to Jessica Rothe’s winning star turn, doing a marvelous job tracking the transformation from self-absorbed stuck-up sorority sister to genuine stand-up-and-cheer-for-her Final Girl, all within the same set of given circumstances. She’s surrounded by a solid ensemble of players, and director Landon and writer Scott Lobdell keep the plates spinning and the jump scares flying nimbly enough to keep the potentially repetitious premise fresh and fun from start to finish.

Spring (2014) d. Benson, Justin / Moorhead, Aaron (USA) (1st viewing)

Continuing the theme of odd bedfellows, this sophomore effort from the Resolution team of Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead begs favorable comparisons to Before Sunrise and An American Werewolf in London. Following a barroom fight shortly after his mother’s death, disillusioned and grieving twenty-something Lou Taylor Pucci (2013’s Evil Dead remake) finds himself pursued by both the police and his revenge-seeking combatant and impulsively leaves for Italy, despite the facts that he knows neither a soul nor the local tongue. As fate would have it, he meets beautiful and mysterious lass (an extraordinary Nadia Hilker) and falls for her, and the two dance a familiar dance, even as we slowly come to understand that the distance she maintains is no coy mating ritual, but rather a desperate act of salvation, an ongoing wrestling match between human desires and supernatural destinies. As with Richard Linklater’s romantic ramblefests, viewers’ interest will likely depend on their investment in the couple’s happiness and ultimate fate, since there’s a lot of talk talk talk talk talk, ranging from the occasionally profound to the exceedingly banal. Me, I liked it well enough.

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018) d. Roberts, Johannes (USA) (1st viewing)

Bryan Bertino’s surprise 2008 home invasion hit, wherein three masked psychopaths terrorize a young couple in an out-of-the-way cabin – celebrates its 10th anniversary with a new Blu-ray release from Shout! Factory, but who would have guessed that the same year would yield a sequel/redux of sorts, one that takes the basic premise of the original (which some maintain borrowed its premise from the 2007 French thrill-killer Ils aka Them) and then spins it out into a fairly standard if successful Cerberus-headed slasher.

Roberts follows his predecessor’s mean-spirited atmosphere of merciless, cold-blooded slayings, but adds a flair of goofy/heightened energy by underscoring them with Jim Steinmann-penned power ballads (Air Supply’s “Making Love Out of Nothing At All,” Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart”), which makes them memorable, though whether it’s for the right reasons will likely be a subject of debate among horror fans for years to come. (I’m ambivalent at this stage of the game.) Christina Hendricks (Mad Men, Drive) is the only real “name” in the cast, and while I’m sure she was happy for the paycheck, the producers could have saved their money because this isn’t the kind of movie that rises or falls on star power.

CIVILIAN:

Black Panther (2018) d. Coogler, Ryan (USA) (1st viewing)

The best Marvel movie ever? Sure, why not? It’s a slamdunk origin story and the social significance due to/following its box office success will likely (hopefully) go down as one of the great turning points in multicultural Hollywood history. Not to mention the impressive fight sequences and strong female characters throughout. Can’t think of a single thing they got wrong and am doubly impressed by all the things they got right.

California Suite (1978) d. Ross, Herbert (USA) (1st viewing)

Neil Simon’s crackling dialogue and recognizable if heightened characters are showcased within this quartet of interwoven playlets involving a divorced couple (Alan Alda, Jane Fonda) hashing out the future of their daughter, a vacationing businessman (Water Matthau) who wakes up with a young prostitute passed out in his bed, an aging British starlet (Maggie Smith) in town for the Oscars with her bemused husband (Michael Caine), and a pair of rival doctors (and in-laws) (Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor) who take their competitive instincts to insane lengths. All maintain a welcome core of dramatic weight amidst the snappy banter, with the exception of the Cosby/Pryor segment which is played strictly – and heavy-handedly – for slapstick. Elaine May is a standout as Matthau’s wife who shows up unannounced.

Fierce Creatures (1997) d. Young, Robert / Schepsi, Fred (UK) (1st viewing)

Getting the proverbial band from A Fish Called Wanda back together seems like a novel idea on paper, but minus the nimble hand of director Charles Crichton and a plot more preoccupied with wacky hijinks than character-based interactions, it possesses barely a shadow of its predecessor’s charm. The notion of a fatuous multimillionaire (Kevin Kline, under heavy makeup and sporting an Austrawwwwwwlian accent) demanding that his recently acquired zoo in England turn a significant profit, which in turn inspires head company man (John Cleese) to concoct the wild scheme of having only “Dangerous Animals” as the main attractions, has potential, but never feels grounded enough for anything beyond sophomoric laughs . Jamie Lee Curtis is the brightest spot as the sexy, savvy businesswoman saddled with the moneybags’ simpering offspring (Kline again), though Michael Palin is given a lot to say and not much to propel the story as a yammering know-it-all animal expert.

Trivia: director Robert Young made his directing debut in 1972 with the enjoyably bonkers Hammer horror Vampire Circus!

Hail, Caesar! (2016) d. Coen, Joel / Coen, Ethan (USA) (1st viewing)

While there’s no denying the affection shown toward Classic Hollywood by the sibling duo, showcasing everything from Esther Williams-type water ballet extravaganzas to shoot-em-up singin’ cowboy Westerns to cast-of-thousands Biblical epics, the weakness lies in the underlying narrative following a kidnapped movie star (George Clooney) and the blackmailed production chief (Josh Brolin) attempting to get him back before a pair of rival gossip columnists (Cate Blanchett, playing twins) get wind of the story. What should have been a wonderful breakneck caper turns muddy and lifeless in between the wannabe glorious production numbers. Everyone seems to be having a grand time, which helps, especially Channing Tatum as a Gene Kelly-esque song-and-dance man.

Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015) d. Cone, Stephen (USA) (1st viewing)

Earnest, well-executed indie drama that charts a day in the life of a Christian family and their friends, exposing the many struggles and hypocrisies among the righteous. Homosexuality, alcoholism, adultery, suicide, and premarital sex are among the many taboo subjects explored by a sharp ensemble cast of Chicago actors that includes Pat Healy (Cheap Thrills), Elizabeth Laidlaw, Hanna Dworkin, Fran Guinan, Cole Doman as our titular lad, and a pre-Stranger Things Joe Keery.

Kate Plays Christine (2016) d. Greene, Robert (USA) (1st viewing)

Christine Chubbuck was a small-time local Saratoga newswoman who experienced a brief (posthumous) moment of fame when she committed suicide on-air in 1974. Aspiring actress Kate Lynn Sheil lands the lead in a biopic about the doomed journalist, but as she starts to research the role, she quickly learns that there is not much to be found about her subject in life or death. What follows is an intriguing if not altogether cohesive documentary that bounces back and forth between the “creative process” – complete with scenes from the narrative feature that Sheil is starring in (which we slowly come to realize are purely for the sake of the documentary itself, i.e. there is no “real” movie being made) – and the legitimate mystery of Chubbuck outside of the one fatal moment that came to define her. The final scene, presumably meant to shock with its spontaneity and realism, sadly rings false and premeditated.

Sully (2017) d. Eastwood, Clint (USA) (1st viewing)

Efficient, no-frills dramatization of the “Hero on the Potomac” Captain Chelsy Sullivan who managed to land his 737 (US Airways Flight 1549) on the river after both wing engines failed (without a single fatality), and the subsequent investigation by the airline’s insurance company asserting that a safe return to the airport was, in fact, possible and the passenger risk and property damage was unnecessary. Tom Hanks is solid in the title role, as is Aaron Eckhart as his loyal co-pilot. Laura Linney, however, is wasted in a do-nothing role as Sully’s wife.

Thoroughbreds (2017) d. Finley, Cory (USA) (1st viewing)

Olivia Cooke (Me and Earl and the Dying Girl) and Anya Taylor-Joy (Split, The VVitch) are fantastic as a pair of disaffected teens thrown together by fate (and their moneyed, absent parents) who bring out the worst in each other up to and including contemplations of murder. Cool and cruel throughout, with Anton Yelchin (Green Room, Star Trek) in his final screen role as a charmingly clueless small-time drug dealer/would-be gangsta .

MASTER BATEMAN:

The Change-Up (2011) d. Dobkin, David (USA) (1st viewing)

R-rated Freaky Friday body-switch comedy is bawdy and unabashedly lowbrow, highlighted by its two stars doing spot-on impersonations of one another in both naughty and nice incarnations. Leslie Mann (a national treasure who is somehow still not a household name) very nearly steals the show as Bateman’s long-suffering soul-mate, while Olivia Wilde does her thang as his sexy co-worker.

Couples Retreat (2009) d. Billingsley, Peter (USA) (1st viewing)

Labored and clunky ensemble comedy that somehow manages to waste everyone’s talents, despite the fact that everyone is talented enough to somehow make it watchable. I blame Vince Vaughn (who also produced) because why not blame Vince Vaughn, although Billingsley (yes, Ralphie from A Christmas Story!) probably has to share some of the blame.

The Family Fang (2015) d. Bateman, Jason (USA) (1st viewing)

Bateman-as-director follows the acid-dipped genius of Bad Words with this overtly quirky and sentimental sophomore effort, based on the novel by Kevin Wilson, following two grown-up children (Nicole Kidman, Bateman) trying to shake the shadow of their “live scenario artists” parents (Christopher Walken, Maryann Plunkett). While managing to hold our attention, it never really takes flight, which is disappointing considering the talent on board.

Game Night (2018) d. Daley, John Francis / Goldstein, Jonathan (USA) (1st viewing)

A so-so premise (couples gather for monthly game nights) spirals wonderfully upward into the stratosphere thanks to a fantastic, increasingly outlandish yet buyable script by Mark Perez and the quicksilver comic chemistry between Bateman and Rachel McAdams as our stars. As if that weren’t enough (which it would be, by the way), they are surrounded by a pitch-perfect ensemble (Kyle Chandler, Sharon Horgan, Lamorne Morris, Kylie Bunbury, Jesse Plemons, and Billy Magnussen, who kills with every dim damn dumb single line he’s given) that takes every moment to the next level. Recommended big time.

The Kingdom (2007) d. Berg, Peter (USA) (1st viewing)

Bateman gets a chance to play it serious as part of a CIA operative team sent to Saudi Arabia to track down the perpetrators of a terrorist attack on a U.S. community of politicians and business advisors. Berg does his usual top-notch work bringing suspense and realism (unlike Patriots Day and Deepwater Horizon, this is NOT based on a true story, though it certainly feels like it could be), with solid, unshowy work from his cast of players (Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jeremy Piven, and particularly Ashraf Barhom as the team’s Saudi law enforcement counterpart).

2017 Totals to date: 76 films, 57 1st time views, 27 horror, 13 cinema

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Howdy folks!

Ahem. So, here’s what happened.

During the month of April, I was either a) enjoying a trip to Alaska with my lovely bride to celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss (and setting foot in the long-elusive 5 th state in my U.S. travels – yeah, been to ’em all now), b) memorizing lines for The Woman in Black, c) rehearsing Woman in Black, or d) commuting back and forth between Chicago and Rockford, IL (where WIB was being performed at Artists’ Ensemble Theatre). As a result, I saw a grand total of five, count ’em, five films the entire month. Even so, I had plans to write up that quintet and get them posted....

Then May came along and I was still commuting back and forth doing the show on the weekends, but I also had free time to be, oh, WATCHING movies again and given the choice, I’d always rather be watching than scribbling. As a result, I let the month roll by, even as the last few days of it saw me traveling to Barcelona, Spain for another happy reunion with my Enlightened Warrior Training Camp family (and logging another four movies en route) and a glorious couple weeks of watching folks shatter their personal barriers and go to the next level of their lives.

But here we are, halfway through the month and on the eve of starting rehearsals for yet another show (The Hero’s Wife at 16th Street Theatre), and it occurred to me that unless I put fingers to keypad, another month would be in the rearview with naught to show for it. Considering the wealth of flickers that rolled by (including mini-fests of Steven Soderbergh and Kurt Russell), I thought it would be a shame not to try to get something on the boards. By no means do I consider this to be my finest hour of critical contemplation; instead, consider it a fella just jotting down a few notes and sharing them with friends – more the beginning of the conversation than the final word.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Baskin (2015) d. Evrenol, Can (Turkey) (1st viewing)

There was a whole lotta noise about this Turkish freakfest when it touched down on our shores a few years back. It was decidedly weird, I’ll give it that, though I don’t know that it was as original as it (or everyone else) thought it was. Points for casting the strangest-looking antagonist we’ve had in while.

The Bat (1959) d. Wilbur, Crane (USA) (2nd viewing)

Watched in honor of Vincent Price’s birthday (5/27), but I was pleasantly surprised/reminded of a what a fun little whodunit murder mystery it is. I’m genuinely curious to track down the original stage play now; since I’m on a roll with horror shows, maybe this can be my next gig!

The Canal (2014) d. Kavanaugh, Ivan (Ireland) (1st viewing)

Serviceable ghost story/slipping into madness yarn, and Hannah Hoekstra who plays Rupert Evan’s wife is quite the little number. The final moment packs an unexpected punch below the belt.

A Cure for Wellness (2016) d. Verbinski, Gore (USA) (1st viewing)

Sumptuously produced mad-doctor flick from the guy who gave us The Ring remake (and all those Pirates of the Caribbean movies), though the casting of a wildly unsympathetic Dane Dehaan in the lead role seriously hobbles matters and the 2+ hour running time doesn’t help.

47 Meters Down (2017) d. Roberts, Johannes (UK/USA) (1st viewing)

It ain’t The Shallows, but still manages to be a decent enough “chicks trapped in a shark cage and the oxygen is running out” flick.

Gerald's Game (2017) d. Flanagan, Mike (USA) (1st viewing)

Like Stephen King’s source novel, I found this to be a great high-concept dragged out far longer than it needed to be. Fine performances and direction, but GET ON WITH IT.

He Never Died (2015) d. Krawczyk, Jason (USA) (1st viewing)

Henry Rollins (who also exec produced) is perfection as an immortal so completely over his own existence, yet consistently caught up in trouble with hoodlums and thugs and forgotten children. Steven Ogg and Kate Greenhouse offer fantastic support respectively as a small-time kingpin and a frustrated waitress.

Life (2017) d. Espinosa, Daniel (USA) (1st viewing)

Big budget amorphous-alien-aboard-a-spaceship thrill-ride works surprisingly well, even if we’ve seen it all before, right down to the twist ending.

CIVILIAN:

The Beguiled (2017) d. Coppola, Sophia (USA) (1st viewing)

Gorgeously realized remake of the Don Siegel/Clint Eastwood Southern gothic drama about a wounded Union soldier (Colin Farrell) trapped in Confederate territory and taking refuge at a boarding school for young ladies. Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, and Elle Fanning are the ladies with eyes for the handsome stranger; whether they are willing to share creates the conflict.

Cosmopolis (2012) d. Cronenberg, David (Canada/France) (1st viewing)

Considering my affection for the director’s oeuvre, I’m surprised it took me as long as it did to finally catch up with this. That said, I found it an interesting diversion at best and fairly pretentious and preachy at worst.

The Foreigner (2017) d. Campbell, Martin (UK) (1st viewing)

Jackie Chan resurrects his inner badass as a grieving father hunting down the IRA terrorists who killed his daughter in a bombing, with excellent support from Pierce Brosnan as a politico who may or may not be involved. Probably the best work either has done in years. Kudos.

Justice League (2017) d. Snyder, Zack (USA) (1st viewing)

I didn’t hate it. Didn’t really love it either. It was on the flight home from Alaska. That’s all I got.

The Little Hours (2017) d. Baena, Jeff (Canada/USA) (1st viewing)

Hilarious and naughty and sexy and clever and weird and probably blasphemous and sexy and naughty and hilarious, with an amazing cadre of players perfectly cast. SEE THIS MOVIE.

Personal Shopper (2016) d. Assayas, Olivier (France) (1st viewing)

“Thinking person’s ghost story,” with Kristen Stewart tendering a sharply crafted performance in and out of her designer clothing.

Phantom Thread (2017) d. Anderson, Paul Thomas (USA) (1st viewing)

I’m not sure I ever really needed to see Daniel Day-Lewis play a fussy dressmaker. It’s a character unlike anything else he’s done before, so points for that, but soooooo hard to care. Anderson has not been pitching to my plate lately.

Unacknowledged (2017) d. Mazzola, Mike (USA) (1st viewing)

You always knew there were aliens and UFOs and there was a giant freaking cover-up and our government is not not not our friend and here’s all the evidence you need to become completely paranoid (which is not to say you were wrong to be paranoid) and spend the rest of the night with your head under the covers building your tinfoil helmet.

The Wolfpack (2015) d. Moselle, Crystal (USA) (1st viewing)

Documentary about a curious clan who never leave the house, spending their days recreating scenes from (or the entirety of) their favorite movies. Equal parts weirdness, human resilience, and tragedy.

TO BE CONT'D....

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All right! Back for round two!

My Steven Soderbergh extravaganza was inspired, in fact, by my recent viewing of David Cronenberg's Cosmopolis, where I thought, "I wonder if I can find Schizopolis as well." (Yes, this is how my mind works. You're just lucky I didn't also decide to pop in Fritz Lang's Metropolis and/or the Jim Wynorski documentary, Popatopolis.)

With regard to the half-dozen Kurt Russell flicks, that was born of a recent conversation with my good pal John Pata where we were talking about the recent Overboard remake starring Anna Faris, and I confessed that I had never seen the original with Himself and Goldie Hawn. I then went on to confess that I was pretty light on the Kurtiverse as a whole, and so rattled through IMDb and the Chicago Public Library shelves to see what all I could track down.

Here's the thing, though: I don't understand the mystique about Kurt. I find him to be completely capable yet hardly distinctive. I feel, with the exception of his features with John Carpenter (minus Escape from L.A., because ohmygodthatmovie), he's always doing his Kurt thing which I don't find all that interesting, much less A-list material. I find myself imagining other actors in the roles that he plays and that's never a good thing. I figured I must be missing something, but six more films under my belt (plus The Fate of the Furious, watched the first week in June) has done little to change my mind. Ah well.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth - we'll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Monster Madness: The Gothic Revival of Horror (2009) d. Herberger, Jeff (USA) (1st viewing)

I was searching for a little Peter Cushing to celebrate his May 26 birthday and stumbled across this fun little documentary (for which Jon Kitley and I served as talking heads many moons ago) about the rise of Hammer studios streaming for free on Amazon Prime. Fun little stroll down memory lane on several levels.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007) d. Dowdle, John Eric (USA) (2nd viewing)

Well done horror “mockumentary” covering a notorious serial killer who videorecords his slayings. Less Blair Witch in its found-footage execution, since the enterprise is depicted as a legitimate documentary effort and as a result, there is far less shaky-cam than the usual first-person fare. Director Dowdle would go on to helm the English-language [Rec] remake, Quarantine, on the strength of his work here. Recently released to Blu-ray by Shout Factory, its first legit video release, with some fine extras to celebrate the occasion.

https://www.shoutfactory.com/product/the-poughkeepsie-tapes?product_id=6373

The Ritual (2017) d. Bruckner, David (UK) (1st viewing)

Fantastic “lost in the woods” thriller goes in some refreshingly unique directions, utilizing creative direction and a stellar ensemble led by Rafe Spall. I’ve been a fan of Bruckner since his contributions to the 2007 sleeper The Signal and I hope this elevates his profile significantly.

The Slime People (1963) d. Hutton, Robert (USA) (1st viewing)

The kick-off to this year’s Turkey Day in May® remains an enjoyable ’50s-style sci-fi monster flick with some genuinely impressive creature suits and a lot of creosote smoke/fog covering the cracks in the script and performances.

Slithis (1978) d. Traxler, Stephen (USA) (2nd viewing)

The same could be said of TDIM® feature #2, a lovely slice of low-budget eco-terror with a bloodthirsty fishman spawned from radiation tearing up the coastline of a sleepy California town.

(I had to split early from this year's festivities due to Woman in Black obligations, but you can read the entire Turkey Day recap HERE)

Train to Busan (2016) d. Yeon, Sang-ho (South Korea) (1st viewing)

Big budget zombies-on-a-train delivers exactly what anyone could ask for, with a lot of fun energy, few new ideas, and an extended running time that clips right by.

XX (2017) d. Vukovic/Clark/Benjamin/Kusama Canada/US (1st viewing)

An anthology of four short fright flicks written and directed by women sounds like a wonderful idea, especially in this day and age of female empowerment. Problem is, not a one has a real stinger of a punchline and with a horror short, that’s kind of the point, right? Wanted to like it, but could barely remember anything only a few days later.

THE TOM TOM CLUB

American Made (2017) d. Liman, Doug (USA) (1st viewing)

Mr. Cruise did most of his own flying for this “wait, that really happened?” story of Barry Seal, the guy who took the FBI, the Contras, and the DEA for a ride (or several rides, as the case may be). Entertaining and ambiguous with regard to celebrating our antihero.

Knight and Day (2010) d. Mangold, James (USA) (2nd viewing)

Tons of fizzy fun, utilizing our star’s effortless charisma and physicality to full effect as a rogue undercover operative who kidnaps Cameron Diaz’s everyday gal after she inadvertently becomes involved in an elaborate superspy game of cat n’ mouse. McGuffins, live-wire stunts and snappy comic interplay abound.

WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT STEVEN:

And Everything is Going Fine (2010) d. Soderbergh, Steven (USA) (1st viewing)

I became a huge Spalding Gray fan after seeing Swimming to Cambodia and (especially) Monster in a Box, so a documentary about the monologuist was right up my alley. Most of the footage is from his spoken-word performances, so if you’re familiar with those, you’re not going to get a lot of new information, but I hadn’t realized how frail he’d become after the car accident that undeniably hastened his suicide.

The Girlfriend Experience (2009) d. Soderbergh, Steven (USA) (1st viewing)

Adult film star Sasha Grey made her mainstream film debut in this button-pushing examination of a high-class escort who establishes genuine relationships with her clients, although the emotional walls she maintains to protect herself extend to every relationship in her life, leading to a muted existence. Thought-provoking and more than a little disheartening.

Logan Lucky (2017) d. Soderbergh, Steven (USA) (1st viewing)

High-spirited heist flick with Channing Tatum and Adam Driver starring as a pair of lunkhead blue collar brothers with a scheme to knock over a race track, with a brilliant supporting cast killing it right down the line. Great fun.

Schizopolis (1996) d. Soderbergh, Steven (USA) (1st viewing)

After the frustrating studio experiences of Kafka, King of the Hill, and The Underneath, Soderbergh returned to the independent world to conjure this low-budget idiosyncratic comedy (in which he also plays the main character) comprised of a series of loosely connected vignettes and characters. Well worth seeking out.

THE KULT OF KURT:

Dreamer (2005) d. Gatins, John (USA) (1st viewing)

All the feel-goods about an injured racing horse that makes an amazing comeback thanks to the gentle love of a child and her supportive family. I think I just got a cavity writing that.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) d. Gunn, James (USA) (1st viewing)

Starts off feeling like every sequel trying to outdo its predecessor with forced humor and characters acting out of character, but finally settles into itself once Gunn & Co. get around to telling a new story. As Chris Pratt’s all-powerful pater, Kurt sports a breathtaking mane and beard that deserve credits all their own.

Poseidon (2006) d. Peterson, Wolfgang (USA) (2nd viewing)

A remake of the disaster movie classic The Poseidon Adventure with the guy who directed Das Boot and The Perfect Storm at the helm might seem like a no-brainer, but it makes the fatal mistake of giving the spotlight to a bunch of CGI FX as opposed to wacky and believable characters (Kurt is no Gene Hackman or Ernest Borgnine… or Shelly Winters, for that matter).

Sky High (2005) d. Mitchell, Mike (USA) (1st viewing)

Easily the most enjoyable view of KurtFest 2018, with Mssr. Russell and Kelly Preston starring as a pair of superhero parents whose offspring is slow to come into his own. The teen cast is energetic and likeable, with a lot of fun gags and action and hit-and-miss humor.

Swing Shift (1984) d. Demme, Jonathan (USA) (1st viewing)

Goldie Hawn (aka the future not-Mrs.-Russell) headlines as a married factory worker female during the WWII war effort who falls for her co-worker (guess who) while hubby Ed Harris is overseas. Not-bad mix of comedy and drama, and directed by Demme in straight-ahead fashion (as opposed to Stop Making Sense, Something Wild, or Silence of the Lambs fashion).

3000 Miles to Graceland (2001) d. Lichtenstein, Demian (USA) (1st viewing)

A great high concept (Elvis impersonators knock over a Vegas casino) is shamefully squandered within the first 20 minutes of a two-hour movie, leaving us with psycho Kevin Costner and career criminal Kurt double crossing each other for 90 minutes while the camera spends as much time ogling Courtney Cox’s bottom as possible. What should have been a fun romp is an ugly and violent mess that throws in a cute-but-sassy kid for good measure. And those end credits. WTH.

2017 Totals to date: 112 films, 88 1st time views, 42 horror, 13 cinema

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The Last House on the Left (1972) d. Wes Craven (USA)

Groundbreaking offering from the nascent producing/directing team of Sean S. Cunningham and Wes Craven borrows the elemental plotline of Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring, then marinates it with brutality and shocking discomfort the likes of which moviegoing audiences had never witnessed before. While attempting to score some pot en route to a rock concert, two teenage girls (Sandra Peabody aka Sandra Cassel and Lucy Grantham) are kidnapped, raped, and murdered by a “family” of ex-cons. Then, in an ironic twist of fate, the killers’ car breaks down, forcing them to take refuge in the home of one of the dead girl’s parents (Richard Towers aka Gaylord St. James and Cynthia Carr) … who soon learn the truth about their new guests.

As the odious leader Krug, David A. Hess (who also provided the oddly jangling and melodic soundtrack) is thoroughly riveting, with Jeramie Rain and adult-film staple Fred Lincoln offering fine support. Unfortunately, with the exception of Grantham, the rest of the performances fall short of convincing, and the enterprise is nearly derailed by a series of ill-advised comic vignettes featuring a dum-dum duo of law officers (Marshall Anker and future Karate Kid baddie Martin Kove).

It is ironically fortunate, then, that the indelible scenes of violence and humiliation are so powerful that they overcome these shortcomings. Imperfect, but undeniably potent and influential, LHOTL opened the doors for a darker breed of exploitation film as well as introducing the world to the future fathers of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger.

Arrow’s stellar new Blu-ray release is among the finest of the year, with a brand new audio commentary by podcasters Bill Ackerman and Amanda Reyes, as well as the original tracks ported over from the MGM DVD release featuring Craven and Cunningham together and Hess, Lincoln, and Marc Sheffler (who plays Krug’s son “Junior”) for the other. Sheffler gets a lot of play on the special features, as it turns out, with “Junior's Story,” a new interview with the actor, as well as “Marc Sheffler in Conversation at the American Cinematheque.”

Hess, perhaps the most famous cast member (excepting Kove, whose mainstream success far exceeded that of his counterparts), is highlighted in two featurettes, “Songs in the Key of Krug” and “Scoring Last House on the Left.” We also learn the story of how Kove, who was originally called in for the role of Krug, declined, saying that he wanted to do more comedy, but recommended his friend Hess and loaned him numerous sweaters to give him a bulkier appearance for the initial audition.

There are two archival documentaries on hand, “Celluloid Crime of the Century” and “It's Only a Movie: The Making of The Last House on the Left,” which cover (unsurprisingly) similar ground, as well as “Forbidden Footage,” which sees the cast and crew discussing the film’s most controversial scenes. There are also a collection of outtakes and dailies, and a new interview with wardrobe and make-up artist Anne Paul (who went on to perform pre-interview make-up chores on many celebrities and politicians).

The second disc features the “Krug and Company” re-release version and the noticeably trimmed R-rated cut of the film, as well as “The Craven Touch,” a new 17-minute featurette that celebrates the horror icon on and off screen, with talking heads that include Cunningham, composer Charles Bernstein, producer Peter Locke, cinematographer Mark Irwin, and actress Amanda Wyss (the ill-fated “Tina” from A Nightmare on Elm Street). This is paired with “Early Days and ‘Night of Vengeance’,” a personal love letter from filmmaker Roy Frumkes (Document of the Dead) to Craven and his shocking screen debut.

The 3-disc set is rounded out with a CD of the film’s soundtrack, whose unsettling juxtaposition between image and sound definitely deserves attention. Hess, who famously penned songs for Elvis including “All Shook Up,” “I Got Stung,” and “Sand Castles,” as well as “Speedy Gonzales” for Pat Boone, and quite a few others, never got the attention he probably deserved as a musician, overshadowed by the long and dark shadow of Krug and the similar roles that followed (Hitch-Hike, The House on the Edge of the Park).

The Last House on the Left is available now from Arrow Video and MVD Entertainment and can be ordered HERE:

https://mvdb2b.com/b2b/s/AV143

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Chaos (2005) d. David DeFalco (USA)

I saw Chaos for the first time during its initial limited 2005 summer release in Chicago, home of the infamous Roger Ebert debate/“zero stars” review. Ironically, the swelling of ill-informed hatred put me in an odd position of defending it in spite of the fact that I didn't think it was a great film or even a good film. However, since it had such a limited theatrical release, I found myself incredibly frustrated not having anyone to actually talk to who had actually seen the damn thing – arguing instead against mere rhetoric and ignorance.

Much of the online vitriol directed toward the picture focuses on its being an unauthorized remake of Wes Craven’s The Last House on the Left. If one has seen Chaos, this goes without saying. It is very nearly a scene-for-scene remake: Two girls go to a rave in the woods, fall into bad company whilst seeking recreational drugs, and are subsequently raped and murdered. Later, following some car trouble, the quartet of killers shows up at a house in the woods, unaware that it is the residence of the parents of one of their victims.

What is inherently regrettable is that writer/director David DeFalco and producer Steven Jay Bernheim elected to claim Chaos was “based on an original idea” (presumably to avoid getting the rights) because it instantly moved the discussion off their film and onto its credits (a ludicrous notion, especially since Marc Sheffield, who played “Junior” in the 1972 movie, is listed as a co-producer and their poster art even uses elements of its predecessor’s “It’s only a movie… only a movie…” advertising campaign!)

So, let’s just let that go. Chaos is absolutely a redux of LHOTL. Yet… it is here that it actually succeeds.

What people often forget is that Craven’s debut (itself a remake of Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring) is not a perfect venture. Influential as it might have been in its day, it’s rough all around – in all aspects of filmmaking (which Craven himself has frequently admitted) – and survives purely on its courage to go “there.” And then there are those jokey cops and Ada Washington and the chicken truck...

Chaos does not resolve all of these issues by a long, long shot. The acting is so-so and often mannered (Kevin Gage, Deborah Lacey, and Scott Richards fare best, as the ruthlessly charismatic “Chaos/Krug” and the girl’s parents, respectively), the dialogue ranges from trite to grating, and the direction fairly rudimentary. However, the scenes of violence and the makeup f/x are excellent, and the entire cast is supremely committed to the cause, especially our two female victims (played by Chantal DeGroat and Maya Barovich).

Having recently watched Arrow Video’s excellent Blu-ray release of the original, I was reminded, despite its flaws, just how effective Chaos is during select moments. Provided they don’t come in with an anti-remake chip on their shoulder, fans of LHOTL should appreciate it as there is much to admire, with the murders just as shocking as they deserve to be without being overly gratuitous, and a twist ending absolutely in keeping with an ultraviolent decade highlighted by Saw and Hostel sequels. And there are no jokey cops or chicken trucks.

It was on the (now out of print) DVD’s special features that I discovered the two faces of ex-wrestler-turned-director DeFalco. On the commentary track with Bernstein, he sounds quite humble and even mild-mannered at times, coming off as nothing more than a young, eager filmmaker who simply wants people to like his movie. However, in his featurette at the L.A. coroner’s office – an under-rehearsed macho stunt both laughable and embarrassing – he becomes the supremely insensitive poser who has incurred the wrath of numerous festival crowds. Stick with Dr. Jekyll, David, because Mr. Hyde ain’t doing you any favors.

Overall, I recommend grindhouse fans check out Chaos for themselves and see what they think. It’s not “the most brutal film ever made” as its promotional materials ballyhoo, but it certainly has its moments.

DISCLAIMER: Though I have not seen it firsthand, Chaos was apparently released earlier this year on Blu-ray by Code Red as a double feature with 1972’s Don’t Look in the Basement (???) and can be ordered HERE:

https://www.amazon.com/Chaos-Dont-Look-Basement-Feature/dp/B077ZCTV4S

The Last House on the Left (2009) d. Dennis Iliadis (USA)

When it was first announced, I will openly admit to shuddering at the thought of a big budget remake (even one co-produced by Wes Craven himself) of the notorious 1972 low budget shocker. However, against all odds, while not nearly as discomfiting as the original, the redux manages to carve out its own territory and more than satisfies on its own terms.

Most notable is the shift in tone: Craven’s drive-in classic very much dwells in the realm of “violence begets violence, leaving us all savages,” while Adam Alleca and Carl Ellsworth’s screenplay clearly delineates the good guys (Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter) from the bad guys (Aaron Paul, Rikki Lindhome, Garret Dillahunt), resulting in a straightforward “revenge thriller” vibe.

And thrills there are aplenty, from the opening scenes depicting Krug’s escape from the authorities to the vicious cat ‘n’ mouse, stalking-amidst-the-shadows finale. Even if the performers are perhaps a little too Hollywood pretty, the acting far and away surpasses its predecessor’s humble thesping, with Sara Paxton (Cheap Thrills, The Innkeepers) making an early screen appearance as the unfortunate Mari.

While a few punches are pulled plot-wise in order to be more accessible to general audiences (and to garner its “R” rating), director Iliadis and his f/x team do not skimp on the hemoglobin, with garbage disposals and microwaves being put to imaginatively gruesome use, and the rape scenes are onscreen, intact, and as emotionally brutal as they are required to be.

True, viewers are deprived (as they were with the 2006 remake of Craven’s The Hills Have Eyes) of the underlying social commentary that makes the film more than just a thrill ride, but as thrill rides go, it’s sharply done, well-acted, and unpleasant in all the right ways. With this, My Bloody Valentine, Friday the 13th, It’s Alive, and The Uninvited (the American version of A Tale of Two Sisters), 2009 was that rare year in which horror remakes didn’t completely suck.

The Last House on the Left is available now on Blu-ray from Universal Pictures and can easily be found online at a variety of outlets, such as:

https://www.bonanza.com/listings/The-Last-House-on-the-Left-Blu-ray-2009-/554637268

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Yep, it’s me again.

June was taken up with Enlightened Warrior Training Camps in Barcelona, self-defense workshops with IMPACT Chicago, and rehearsals for The Hero’s Wife at 16th Street Theater in Berwyn (yes BERWYNNNNN) ; as such, I think I only watched maybe a half dozen movies (and most of those during the flights to and from Europe). Things calmed down slightly in July once the show got on its feet and began its critically acclaimed run, which is why I opted to lump the two summer months together for a respectable 22-View tally.

Reflecting back, it was a pretty good collection of flicks, including a few new releases (which are, of course, not that new anymore but whatever). Looking forward to hearing what people thought.

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

The First Purge (2018) d. McMurray, Gerard (USA) (1st viewing)

It’s hard to believe that I’ve seen all four of the Purge installments in the cinema (well, less hard to believe for some, I realize), as it may be one of the few franchises that I can still lay that claim to. (I missed Saw II, skipped the most recent Paranormal Activity, etc.) Anyway, this is, as the title promises, the prequel to the other films, laying out how the annual night of legalized violence came into existence, as an isolated one-city-only experiment (Staten Island) overseen by the corrupt New Founding Fathers and Marisa Tomei’s well-intentioned scientist. Notable for being one of the few modern horror films where nearly all the main characters are POC, the liberal-leaning politics are subtle as a chainsaw tied to a sledgehammer smashing through a glass factory and the script by Purge creator James DeMonaco (who cedes the director’s chair to McMurray) isn’t as nuanced as previous episodes (which is saying something), but it still does the job.

Gags (2018) d. Krause, Adam (USA) (1st viewing)

It’s probably not good manners to review a film in which I play a starring role…. BUT THIS IS MY BLOG AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. Seriously, folks, this is a laudably original approach to both the found-footage and scary clown genres and the Cinepocalypse crowd (where it enjoyed its world premiere) dug the hell out of it. It’s currently making the festival rounds, so keep your eyes peeled for those black balloons!!!

Oh, and if you want to read what someone else had to say…

https://bloody-disgusting.com/reviews/3507422/cinepocalypse-review-found-footage-gags-carried-dark-humor/

Hereditary (2018) d. Aster, Ari (USA) (1st viewing)

The very epitome of slow-burn horror, with nary a jump scare to be found, I was genuinely pleased that writer/director Aster’s unsettling tale of family drama and supernatural leanings lived up to the hype. Like other modern masterpieces (The VVitch, It Follows), it is not going to satisfy every casual fright fan looking for a big-bang-boo, but the overall sense of dread generated is truly impressive and the performances (led by Toni Collette and Gabriel Byrne) are top-shelf. Expect to see this on numerous end-of-year best-of lists.

Images (1972) d. Altman, Robert (USA) (3rd viewing)

Recently released to Blu-ray by Arrow Video, Altman’s moody (and shamefully overlooked) foray into the horror genre is ripe for discovery, and I’m going to be trumpeting its merits for a while. Filled with more twists and turns than a bag of pretzels, when you’re not wondering, “What the hell?” you’ll be screaming, “What the HELL??!!” I first became aware of Images via Kim Newman’s excellent book Nightmare Movies and finally sought it out following the multitude of retrospectives and tributes following the director’s passing in 2006. Upon seeing it, my first question was: Why doesn't anyone talk about this film? Then, more importantly, why don’t people consider it a horror flick? It sits squarely in Persona and Repulsion territory in terms of our female lead losing her marbles, a pretty decent body count, and a jarring, dissonant score from John Williams before he got all string-and-horns happy. Quirky, extremely well-crafted, anchored by an outstanding performance by Susannah York and strong support from Rene Auberjonois, Marcel Bozzuffi, and Hugh Millais. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED and now available on a well-packed Blu-ray from Arrow and MVD Entertainment.

https://mvdb2b.com/s/RobertAltmansImages/AA025

The Mummy (2017) d. Kurtzman, Alex (USA) (1st viewing)

Okay, so a big-budget CG-laden revamping of Universal’s classic monsters was hardly a good idea to begin with and throwing Tom Cruise into the mix only managed to further alienate the core fan base. That said, the superstar’s fish-out-of-water presence actually succeeds in selling the silliness more so than if they had played it straight, because the whole thing becomes a goof a la Van Helsing without the intentional kitsch. Not saying it’s a good movie, because wow oh wow it is not. But as someone who enjoys watching action-movie-guy Cruise bug his eyes out at the insanity flying his direction, I didn’t hate it.

A Quiet Place (2018) d. Krasinski, John (USA) (1st viewing)

As a high concept, director/star Krasinski’s shocker, where the world is plagued by an invasive species of lethal predators equipped with ultra-sensitive hearing, works quite well, like a solid short story, and for the most part, the action/drama on screen keeps minds from wandering and/or saying, "Hey, wait a minute...." The performances (especially Emily Blunt, aka Mrs. Krasinski) are fantastic, and production design, sound design, creature design, etc. are all top notch. That said, it’s way, WAY too easy to pick apart plot points once the end credits roll, so it's best just to go along for the ride and try not to think too hard about it. Which, again, is not difficult to do, given Krasinski’s knack for building and maintaining tension (The nail on the stairs! The birth in the bathtub! The corn in the silo!) and the final moment is pretty darn great.

Unsane (2018) d. Soderbergh, Steven (USA) (1st viewing)

It’s too bad Toni Collette grabbed up all the horror acting accolades so quickly, since Claire Foy’s turn in this knotty little thriller is deserving of much praise even if the movie itself hinges on a few too many plot conveniences. Upon seeking out a therapist for an emotional dump session, Foy’s character finds herself “voluntarily” committed to a mental institution for observation and her frustrations at her situation only exacerbate the situation once she starts assaulting staff and patients in an effort to free herself. To make matters worse, the man who was stalking her a few years back (Blair Witch Project’s Joshua Leonard) may or may not be one of the staff members. It’s a solid piece of diversion as well as an indictment of the medical industry, a spiritual sister to Soderbergh’s Side Effects.

IT’S ONLY A MOVIE, ONLY A UNOFFICAL REMAKE, ONLY A REMAKE

The Last House on the Left (1972) d. Craven, Wes (USA) (5th viewing)

***FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW HERE***

Chaos (2005) d. DeFalco, David (USA) (3rd viewing)

***FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW HERE***

The Last House on the Left (2009) d. Iliadis, Dennis (USA) (2nd viewing)

***FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW HERE***

CIVILIAN:

Birth of the Dragon (2017) d. Nolfi, George (USA) (1st viewing)

Cheesy but fun imagining of Bruce Lee’s early days in San Francisco up to his legendary challenge and fight with a member of the Shaolin Temple, Wong Jack Man. Much has been made of Billy Magnussen’s (white) character taking center stage in a supposed Lee biopic, and these critics aren’t wrong. That said, I enjoyed Philip Ng’s enjoyable collective of cocky Bruce-isms and Yu Xia provides the perfect counterbalance with his stoicism and grace. The fight scenes are impressive and flashy, and I was never bored even when rolling my eyes.

Bronson (2008) d. Refn, Nicolas Winding (UK) (2nd viewing)

When I first encountered this flick in 2012, watching Tom Hardy inhabit the highly theatricalized biography of “England’s most violent criminal” Michael Peterson (who changed his name to, yes, Charles Bronson) was a revelation, having only only seen him in charismatic but straightforward supporting roles in Inception or Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Now that he’s a bona-fide star, the feat is no less impressive. Refn pulls off a kind of magic trick in making this thuggish brute’s life story compelling and even sympathetic at times. As a physical specimen, Hardy is an absolute beast and should inspire a few more pushups out of any red-blooded he-men watching.

The Fate of the Furious (2017) d. Gray, F. Gary (USA) (1st viewing)

The only reason I watched this, and I do mean only, was because I was trapped on an airplane and still semi-pursuing my Kurt Russell mission from the month prior. How are there eight of these already? I’ve seen four and can’t remember a thing about them. They’re like the action equivalent of Resident Evil.

Incredibles 2 (2018) d. Bird, Brad (USA) (1st viewing)

Fourteen years later, here is that superhero sequel we needed before there was such a thing as superhero fatigue. Now, as delightful as it is to have the Incredible family back in action, it’s all a little less, well, super.

Leave No Trace (2018) d. Granik, Debra (USA) (1st viewing)

Ben Foster plays an off-the-grid veteran illegally living with his daughter (Thomasin Harcourt McKenzie) in National Forests and Parks. After being discovered and handed over to the authorities, the question is: Can they learn to live like “normal” people? A fine, if slow-paced character study that never quite dazzles even as it earns our respect.

Pink Floyd The Wall (1982) d. Parker, Alan (UK) (7th viewing)

I have a very strong personal attachment both to this movie and its soundtrack: I saw it for the first time the same night my friends got me high for the first time (these two events were intrinsically related) and it was also the first time I inhaled a cigarette, since they had to teach me to inhale properly so as not to waste the good ganja. An impressive night of firsts, to be sure. Later that week, I tracked down the long-playing cassette and became intimately familiar with the term “concept album.” Driving back and forth to school, streaming a combination of images from the film and my imagination, I acted that record to death and back to life again.

Relentlessly listenable hooks anchor a dynamic emotional arc, tracking back and forth in time from “Pink’s” childhood to his struggles with relationships, drugs, fame, artistic integrity, politics, and so on, with too many fantastic songs and lyrics to count. (Trivia: Two of my favorites, “When the Tigers Broke Free” and “What Shall We Do Now?” are not on the studio album and are only found in the film or on the bootleg soundtrack recording, both of which excise “Hey You.” Ouch.) (More trivia: that’s Jenny Wright as Pink’s hotel room groupie and Bob Hoskins as his manager!) The astonishing animated sequences by Gerald Scarfe are seared into my brain forever, and Bob Geldof’s turn (standing in for lead singer Roger Waters) is perfectly invested and captivating. Apparently neither the band nor Parker were pleased with the final results, but with all due respect, it’s kind of perfect.

Sorry To Bother You (2018) d. Riley, Boots (USA) (1st viewing)

Set in Oakland, CA, this bizarre tale follows Cassius Green (Lakeith Stanfield), a struggling black twentysomething who takes a soul-sucking telemarketing job to make ends meet, only to realize that he is a superstar on the phone when he uses his “White Voice.” Quickly eclipsing his fellow workers, Green is launched into the level of Power Caller, a realm where morality is as murky as the coffee in the employee break room. Riley’s script is a nimble blend of absurdity and discomfort, ably served by his capable cast, with a third-act bombshell that will leave your jaw amidst the discarded popcorn boxes.

Wonder (2017) d. Chobsky, Stephen (USA) (1st viewing)

Based on the bestselling novel by R.J. Palacio, this unabashedly sentimental yarn about Auggie (Jacob Tremblay), a boy with facial differences, whose family (Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson) decides to have him attend a traditional school for the first time. By turns predictably troubling and inspiring, we follow Auggie as he wrestles with insecurities and making friends, showing that being “different” has both its challenges and rewards. It feels a little by the numbers at times, but not unpleasantly so, with solid performances from newcomers and screen veterans alike.

Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018) d. Neville, Morgan (USA) (1st viewing)

For those of you who worried that Fred Rogers had a secret sinister side... worry not. Turns out the man who gave us the Land of Make Believe and sang songs about dealing with our big feelings and taught us that “just your being you makes you special” was just as gentle and kind a human as the one we saw through the TV screen every day. What we do learn is how he challenged the government to fund public broadcasting, that he addressed topics like Robert Kennedy’s assassination and racism in subtle but accessible ways, and became a huge star without ever changing his radical approach to television and entertainment. What a very special friend he was, and I appreciate him now more than ever.

KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY:

Goodfellas (1990) d. Scorsese, Martin USA (4th viewing)

Miller's Crossing (1990) d. Coen, Joel / Coen, Ethan (USA) (6th viewing)

The Untouchables (1987) d. De Palma, Brian (USA) (6th viewing)

In revisiting some favorite mob movies from the end of the '80s, Goodfellas and Miller's Crossing hold up big time, with flawless ensemble performances, razor sharp scripts (MC is a case study in creating an alternative vernacular that is somehow accessible to newcomers), vibrant direction, and stellar use of soundtrack (pop songs for GF, Carter Burwell's breathtaking main theme for MC).

The Untouchables, on the other hand, is considerably less impressive than I remembered from 30 years back. I'm a legit Kevin Costner fan but, man, he is *terrible* here – flat as a Cub Scout fundraiser pancake. Robert De Niro as Al Capone is equal parts mugging and sleepwalking, and Sean Connery (in his Oscar-winning role) is capable but did so much better work both before and after. Screenwriter David Mamet's storytelling is wonky and episodic (with a few memorable lines) and though De Palma does offer a few virtuoso moments (the Union Station shoot-out where he lifts the "Odessa Steps" sequence), the direction is pedestrian if solid. That said, Ennio Morricone's soaring music remains a bright spot, as are the Oscar-nominated art direction and costumes. It was just surprising to meet up with a film I thought I loved and find it only passing fair, like that high school crush at the reunion who is no longer all that.

2017 Totals to date: 134 films, 91 1st time views, 52 horror, 19 cinema

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The Song of Solomon (2017) d. Stephen Biro (USA)

Mary (Jessica Cameron) witnesses and/or causes the hysterical suicide of her father (writer-director-executive producer Stephen Biro), subsequently falling victim to what appears to be a full-blown demonic possession, complete with babbling voices, bizarre ocular occurrences (courtesy of snazzy sclera lenses), and an imperviousness to pain and good hygiene. This sparks a wave of priests descending upon her, each more determined than the last to rid the world of these dark forces, and the stage is set for the ultimate clash between Good and zzzzzzzzzzzz…

Who doesn’t want to make an exorcism flick? You get to shoot in one location (usually a bedroom), spew all sorts of bodily fluids, scream and swear and shout all manner of impressive-sounding religious gobbledegook, and it doesn’t have to make a lick of sense because, you know, S-A-T-A-N. There’s a reason this cinematic subgenre has flourished for nearly five decades since Williams Friedkin and Blatty unleashed the juggernaut that was The Exorcist in 1973.

Unfortunately, making an effective possession movie is quite another story, with imitators usually ignoring what made the original such a success (relatable characters and an authentic narrative arc within the supernatural setting) and delivering up the gooey, graphic, gory trimmings as the main dish. Such is the case with Song of Solomon, which props up its raison d’etre (elaborate yet utterly unconvincing practical special effects from Oddtopsy FX and Toetag EFX) with performances ranging from wooden to overripe, dialogue that shouldn’t have made it past the second draft, and an oozing sense of self-importance.

Biro is the gentleman behind Unearthed Films, which perhaps unsurprisingly is the film’s distributor. He’s also the man behind the new wave of "American Guinea Pig" films, also distributed by Unearthed, to which Song of Solomon belongs or doesn’t, depending on which poster art you come across. Cameron (Truth or Dare) and Jim VanBebber (The Manson Family) headline, both independent horror mavericks who have demonstrated deep conviction to their own projects and the genre overall, and they give their usual 100% here, with vanity-free performances beneath pounds of ick and gross.

Remember that “physically impossible but so damn shocking we went along with it” head-spinning bit from The Exorcist? Biro seeks to improve on it with an extended sequence of his poor possessed victim vomiting up her own entrails… and then re-ingesting them. For six minutes. Six. Flipping. Minutes. Suffice to say that it succeeds in being gross, then stupid, really stupid, somehow hypnotic in its stupidity, boring, really boring, still gross, back to stupid for a while, back to gross, somewhere along the line we find ourselves wondering if there was a bet on, and then finally, it’s over and the movie continues its plot, such as it is.

The Unearthed press kit claims the film contains “100% real exorcism rituals taken from the Exorcism book from the Vatican, De Exorcismus Suplicationibus Quibusdam,” so you’ve got that going for you, along with such humdingers as when a mysterious priest billed as “The Ordinary” solemnly intones to his latest bit of collared cannon fodder, “You’re our Hail Mary pass, pal.” Amidst the dross, there are a couple of interesting ideas revealed in the final act, but by then I was nearly too numb to care.

I’m not sure whose cup of pea soup this is, but it certainly wasn’t mine. That said, on the new Blu-ray, in addition to a making-of doc and outtakes, Biro appears on two commentary tracks, one with Cameron, and another with SPFX artists Marcus Koch and Jerami Cruise. There are also video interviews with Biro, Cameron, Koch, co-stars Gene Palubicki and David McMahon, and DP Chris Hilleke.

The Song of Solomon arrives on Blu-ray and DVD September 14 from Unearthed Films and MVD Entertainment and can be pre-ordered HERE:

https://mvdb2b.com/s/SongOfSolomonTheLimitedEditionBlurayDVDCD/UN-1092

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The Tingler (1959) d. William Castle, (USA)

“Scream! Scream! Scream for your lives!!”

Fresh off the success of House on Haunted Hill, producer-director-huckster extraordinaire Castle, screenwriter Robb White and star Vincent Price re-teamed the same year to serve up this minor horror classic. Price’s pathologist discovers that every living person has a mysterious organism that, sparked by fear, takes possession of our backbones. When he manages to extract the creature from a recent victim, it resembles a centipede-like creature armed with cruel pincers and extraordinary, bone-cracking power.

White’s script skillfully incorporates numerous plot elements, including Price’s conniving, two-and-three-timing wife Patricia Cutts, experiments with acid trips, and Judith Evelyn’s emotionally fragile deaf/mute cinema owner, which keep the barely tenable plot skating along, assisted mightily by Castle’s brisk pacing and Price & Co.’s droll commitment to the hokum. The b/w film’s singular color sequence still manages to wow nearly 50 years later, and to see the (literally) showstopping finale in an actual theater filled with terrified patrons is a consummation devoutly to be wished.

While perhaps more historically famous for introducing the world to “Percepto,” Castle’s inspired gimmickry of attaching tiny rotor blades beneath selected theater seats – giving unsuspecting audience members a “tingle” at orchestrated moments – this is a supremely entertaining fright flick in its own right, one that should not be missed. (By the way, if you think you’ve seen Evelyn before, you probably have – she played “Miss Lonelyhearts” in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window.)

Shout! Factory’s Blu-ray release is absolutely worth the upgrade for Castle fans who have been holding off for whatever reason. The newly recorded audio commentary by author/historian Steve Haberman is packed with trivia about the cast and crew – almost to distraction, in that he’s often so busy rattling off their various credits and background that the onscreen action of the film itself goes mostly unmentioned.

The new interview, “I Survived The Tingler,” with actress Pamela Lincoln, who plays our attractive young love interest Lucy, is charming both in subject and delivery. Of course, no discussion of the film would be complete without a sidebar about its famous seat-strapped stunt, and “Unleashing Percepto” with publicist Barry Lorie fits the bill. There are also alternate versions of the “Scream” scene (including one for drive-in audiences), as well as the theatrical trailer and a still gallery.

The Tingler is available now on Blu-ray from Shout! Factory and can be ordered HERE:

https://www.shoutfactory.com/product/the-tingler?product_id=6779

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The Horror of Party Beach (1964) d. Del Tenney (USA)

Off the shore of an unnamed New England beach, unbeknownst to hordes of hip-swiveling, lip-locking teens sweating and grooving to the rock-and-roll beat, a small vessel dumps a barrel of (clearly labeled) toxic waste overboard. Striking the ocean floor, it springs a link right next to a human skeleton, sparking a highly unscientific (and inordinately lengthy) chemical reaction wherein the bones not only reanimate but regenerate into a bipedal cannibalistic sea creature with a dual penchant for bloodletting and multiplication.

One of the great horror/sci-fi Turkeys of our time, with nothing more on its mind but the straight-ahead entertainment value derived from blatantly combining two viable drive-in genres geared toward their teen-driven audiences: The Beach Picture and The Monster Movie. But what makes The Horror of Party Beach more than just the cheapie child of its exploitation parents is the boldness with which it lives up to its legacy. It’s such a bald-faced attempt at fulfilling every cinematic cliché that it could be considered a parody if it didn’t play its cards with such an impressively straight face.

The googly-eyed sea creatures – sporting hot-dog-shaped oral protrusions – are among the silliest monster designs ever conceived for film (thanks to an uncredited Robert Verberkmoes), but because Tenney has the chutzpah to put (and keep) them front and center throughout the picture, viewers have the chance to truly embrace and appreciate the imagination and execution on display. As any good kaiju fan can tell you, charm and innocence and big, bold, colorful choices go a long, long way toward lifelong endearment.

However, once these beasties get down to business, they prove most efficient killers, laying waste to an entire slumber party of nubile (but modestly dressed) females, smearing chocolate Bosco syrup, er, blood on their victims with abandon. The film’s body count is actually quite impressive for the time, with onscreen murders trading paces with a swirling parade of newspaper headlines trumpeting the creatures’ murder prowess alongside the authorities’ helpless attempts to arrest the amphibious assault.

The interstitial sandy non-horror scenes are equally enjoyable, thanks to the corny clean-teen jokes (“Do you like bathing beauties?” “I don’t know, I’ve never bathed one!”) and the enthusiastic warbling of the beach’s resident rockers, The Del Aires, who crank out no fewer than six full-length tunes over the course of the zippy 78-minute running time: “Elaine,” “Wigglin’ and Wobblin’,” “Drag,” “You Are Not a Summer Love,” “Joy Ride,” and the inspired “Zombie Stomp,” complete with impromptu choreography from the tanning set.

As scripted by Lou Binder, Ronald Giannetto, and Richard Hilliard (co-writer/director of the excellent proto-giallo Violent Midnight, produced by Tenney), the story is straight out of the atomic-panic playbook, with our intrepid local scientist (Allan Laurel) being pressed into duty to resolve the crisis, ably assisted by his virginal, whip-smart daughter Elaine (Alice Lyon, whose entire vocal performance was re-dubbed by another actress) and his hunky assistant (John Scott ) who just happens to harbor a deep (if highly questionable, considering his options) crush on his employer’s offspring. Oh, and we can’t leave out our token black family maid Eulabelle (Eulabelle Moore ), rattling off folksy death-curse warnings about marauding zombies, inspiring more retroactive white-guilt cringes in a single line reading than all the film’s monster attacks combined.

Severin’s Blu-ray release reprises several extras from DarkSky’s excellent 2006 DVD issue (which paired HoPB with Tenney’s other horror effort from that same year, The Curse of the Living Corpse, featuring a pre-French Connection Roy Scheider), most notably the 14-minute archival interview with Tenney which recounts its mercenary origins. The filmmaker amiably explains how associate producer Alan V. Iselin, whose family owned a chain of drive-in theaters, approached Tenney with the idea of shooting two horror pics to screen independently. But once the films were completed, executives from 20th Century Fox showed enough interest to pick up and distribute them nationwide, not only in drive-ins but hardtop theaters as well!

Thanks to the new 2K scan from the original negative, HoPB has never looked this good before, and the new 15-min “Return to Party Beach” featurette (produced by Daniel Griffith) celebrates the MST3K fave and its creators with love and grace. There is also an interview with aging Del Aires members Bobby Osbourne and Ronnie Linares, “It’s the Living End,” that is equal parts charm and awkwardness, and a chatty if slight sit-down with filmmaker Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs, Chillerama) examining the legacy of rock and roll horror movies.

The Horror of Party Beach is available now from Severin Films and can be ordered HERE:

https://severin-films.com/shop/hpb-bluray/

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Deep Red (aka Profondo Rosso) (1975) d. Dario Argento (Italy)

David Hemmings plays a English jazz pianist in Italy, who after a late-night set, witnesses a brutal murder and feels compelled to unravel the mystery. Considered by many to be the apex of the giallo subgenre, this is Argento in his ’70s prime, with dazzling, dizzying camerawork capturing beautifully violent - if occasionally nonsensical - set-pieces, all couched within the driving rhythms of prog-rock band Goblin (their first of numerous sonic collaborations).

Cast largelydue to his having played another obsessive onscreen protagonist in Michelangelo Antonioni’s Blow-Up (though genre fans may also recognize him as “Dildano” in 1968's sci-fi sex romp Barbarella with Jane Fonda or the tragic Dr. Fraser in the excellent and unconventional 1981 Ozploitation vampire flick, Thirst), Hemmings brings just the right combination of intensity and opacity to the role.

But the real stars are the murder scenes themselves, most of which, according to Bernardino Zapponi (who co-wrote the script with Argento), were inspired by relatable injuries – being scalded with hot water or striking one’s teeth on something unyielding – and then escalating the incident for the scene in question.

Though the plot is perhaps unnecessarily padded out with interactions, romantic and otherwise, between Hemmings and Daria Nicolodi’s headline-chasing reporter (her character was severely trimmed for the U.S. release, known as The Hatchet Murders and running 98 minutes as opposed to the uncut 127 presented here) and the theatricality of certain performances and shot selections may elicit more giggles than goosepimples from modern viewers, this remains an undeniably influential and important chapter in Italian horror and the genre in general.

Set off by Gilles Franckx’s slick artwork, Arrow’s recent Blu-ray release is another winner (a single disc version of the Limited Edition, released back in April), with the eye-popping colors and extreme close-ups shining brighter than ever thanks to a new restoration from a 4K scan of the original negative, and the original Italian soundtrack is presented in DTS-HD MA mono 1.0 and lossless DTS-HD MA 5.1 audio. (The English audio track is presented in DTS-HD MA mono 1.0; be advised, there are some portions missing, due to the fact that dialogue for these scenes was either never recorded or has been lost. These sequences are presented with Italian audio subtitled in English.)

The bountiful extras include an audio commentary by filmmaker and Argento expert Thomas Rostock, “Profondo Giallo,” a new visual essay by Michael Mackenzie featuring an in-depth appreciation of the film itself and its legacy within the subgenre, and “Rosso Recollections: Dario Argento’s Deep Genius” which sits us down with the Maestro himself to converse and contemplate this momentous chapter in his career.

Nicolodi, Argento’s romantic partner for many years and mother of Asia Argento, is given her deserved time in the spotlight for “The Lady in Red” and “Music to Murder For!” sees Goblin frontman Claudio Simonetti sharing his memories on this historic collision of sound and vision. (Simonetti also provides the now-requisite puffy and pointless Arrow introduction.) Things wrap up with the 15-minute featurette, “Profondo Rosso: From Celluloid to Shop,” a lighthearted and joyful spin (shot in 2011) through the Profondo Rosso shop in Rome with longtime Argento collaborator Luigi Cozzi (Starcrash, Contamination).

Deep Red is available Sept 4 from Arrow Video and MVD Entertainment and can be ordered HERE:

https://mvdb2b.com/s/DeepRed/AV169

Blood Punch (2014) d. Madellaine Paxson (USA)

Milo Cawthorne (so great in 2015’s Deathgasm) provides another stellar star turn for horror/comedy fans courtesy of this enjoyably brain-twisting spin on time-loop flicks a la Groundhog Day, Coherence, Timecrimes, etc. Here he plays Milton, a supersmart slacker with a particular bent for chemistry, even more particularly of the crystal meth recipe bent, which is duly noted by criminal opportunist Skyler (Olivia Tennet) during Milton’s incarceration in a rehab facility.

She offers to break him out if he agrees to cook up a massive batch of goodies for her and her psychopathic boyfriend Russell (Ari Boyland) to sell, the escape goes according to plan, the chemical BBQ goes swimmingly… and then things go all to heck. Over and over and over again.

Although screenwriter Edde Guzelian and Paxson have collaborated on numerous TV and film projects as fellow scribes, this marks Paxson’s directorial debut (with Guzelian listed as the sole writer). It’s clear that they enjoy each other’s vibe and while there is quite a bit of bloodletting and uncharitable behavior exhibited by their trio of lawbreakers, it’s a dark comedy through and through, and a successful one at that.

I could have done without the 20-30 times Tennet (Cawthorne’s spouse in real life) lights a match with her thumbnail (it’s a nice trick, but we were impressed the first time you did it), and the very ending could have packed a bit more punch (zing!), but overall, this is a very pleasing, under-promoted indie horror effort that deserves more attention. You know what to do, people.

Blood Punch is available now to stream at Amazon as part of their Cinefest package and can be found HERE:

https://www.amazon.com/Blood-Punch-Milo-Cawthorne/dp/B014WFS97O

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Howdy, folks!

Managed a respectable tally for the month of August, and cranked out more full-length reviews than I had all year, so good news there. (I am currently in West Virginia, rehearsing Julius Caesar for the good people at Greenbrier Valley Theatre, so September is already shaping up to be a winner.)

Let’s get on with it! As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Blood Punch (2014) d. Paxson, Madellaine (USA) (1st viewing)

***FULL MOVIE REVIEW HERE***

Deep Red (aka Profondo Rosso) (1975) d. Argento, Dario (Italy) (5th viewing)

***FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW HERE***

The Horror of Party Beach (1964) d. Tenney, Del (USA) (2nd viewing)

***FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW HERE***

I Didn't Come Here to Die (2010) d. Sullivan, Bradley Scott (USA) (1st viewing)

A half-dozen fresh-faced, attractive, energetic, and horny young adults head out to the great outdoors to prep a camp for underprivileged kids, only to stumble – sometimes literally – into a series of unfortunate events and encounters. Sound familiar? Rest assured, this thoroughly enjoyable spin on slasher tropes has more on its mind than lowbrow flesh and blood quotients, although it serves up plenty in both departments (the former courtesy of lovely and talented Emmy Robbin, the latter thanks to SPFX man David Templin).

Thanks to a fantastic cast (which includes Indiana Adams, Kurt Cole, Madi Goff, Travis Scott Newman, and Niko Red Star) and sure-handed writing and directing from Wisconsin-based first-timer Sullivan (who also edited and shot the sucker), the surprises, laughs, and blood packs come fast and furious, never overstaying its welcome at a lean 80 minutes. A shining example of solid independent horror, deserving of your time, and streaming for free on Amazon Prime. (Also notable for being yet another victim of the craptastic endlessly recycled “woman being dragged away” cover art for indie features.)

https://www.amazon.com/I-Didnt-Come-Here-Die/dp/B079YV19PD/

Jackals (2017) d. Greutert, Kevin (USA) (1st viewing)

There is one worthy twist in this occult thriller – unfortunately, it happens in the opening five minutes and I’m going to spoil it for you right now, but only because there are no other twists to be found in the remaining 82 and you probably have better things to do with your time. The film kicks off with several ski-masked men driving a pair of young men off the road, knocking them both unconscious, and throwing one of them (Ben Sullivan) in the back of the van and driving to a secluded cabin. It’s here that we discover that the kidnapping has been orchestrated by Justin’s family (headed by Jonathon Schaech and Deborah Kara Unger, both clearly mourning their once-bright careers) to get him away from a sinister cult. (Stephen Dorff is also on hand as an expert “de-programmer,” having long-since given up on his once-bright career.)

To no one’s surprise, the cult shows up wanting their boy back and the rest of the movie is a predictable parade of family members getting bumped off in gloomily sadistic fashion, just in case anyone was wondering how Greutert (director of Saw VI and VII) got the gig. Writer Jared Rivet occasionally teases us with false hope of rescue and/or valor, but it soon becomes apparent that no one is getting out alive and Evil’s hand is firmly on the rudder. Efficiently executed, ultimately pointless, and available now from Shout! Factory.

https://www.shoutfactory.com/product/jackals?product_id=6370

The Tingler (1959) d. Castle, William (USA) (3rd viewing)

***FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW HERE***

CIVILIAN:

24 x 36: A Movie About Movie Posters (2016) d. Burke, Kevin (USA) (1st viewing)

This not-bad documentary explores the rise of illustrated movie poster art – specifically 1970s highlights like Drew Struzan’s memorable Star Wars and Indiana Jones collages and Roger Kastel’s iconic Jaws one-sheet – and its decline in the late ’90s, giving way to the generic “floating heads” and two-tone color schemes (frequently orange/blue). Burke sits down with prominent art personalities and collectors to investigate how the shift occurred, as well as focusing on the rising “alternative poster art” subculture for t-shirts, Blu-ray releases, and, well, actual posters. The answers are about as revelatory as one might expect (overcautious studios and distributors using the movies’ stars to market their product as opposed to rolling the dice on cool imagery), but viewers do get to see some pretty cool art and artists showcased over the course of the 82-minute runtime. Available now from FilmRise and MVD Entertainment.

https://mvdb2b.com/s/24x36AMovieAboutMoviePosters/MVD1132D

BlacKkKlansman (2018) d. Lee, Spike (USA) (1st viewing)

The real-life story of Ron Stallworth (John David Washington), an African-American officer on the Colorado Springs Police force, and his courageous infiltration of the local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan is undeniably fascinating, and Lee has assembled a terrific ensemble of players to depict said events (particularly Adam Driver as Stallworth’s partner Flip Zimmerman and Topher Grace as white supremacist Grand Dragon David Dukes). That said, it never feels like more than the sum of its parts, with only a few moments of legit drama in its dramatization.

Good Time (2017) d. Safdie, Benny / Safdie, Josh (USA) (1st viewing)

Robert Pattinson scores a never-better turn as a lowlife small-time crook struggling to raise the bail to get his mentally impaired brother (Benny Safdie, also excellent) out of jail following a botched bank robbery. Supercharged by a pounding soundtrack, the sibling directors blaze through a series of “what could possibly happen next?” scenarios, with Pattinson’s unflagging determination and desperation veritably oozing off the screen. A breathtaking follow-up to their equally thrilling depiction of heroin addicts in love, 2014’s Heaven Knows What, announcing them as a major talent to watch.

Mogambo (1953) d. Ford, John (USA) (1st viewing)

Ford combines his patented formula for sweeping scenic vistas (in this case, the wilds of Kenya) with big-time star power for this fine melodrama of a big-game hunter (Clark Gable) who becomes romantically involved with a street-smart socialite (Ava Gardner) as well as the wife of a visiting anthropologist (Grace Kelly). Itself a remake of Red Dust (1932), one of Gable’s first big successes, the offscreen drama proved as captivating as anything captured through the lens, with much tension between the famed director and his stars, as well as a open-secret affair between Kelly and her much-older co-star Gable.

HA HA HA IT IS TO LAUGH:

Christmas in Connecticut (1945) d. Godfrey, Peter (USA) (1st viewing)

Charming holiday favorite sees famous columnist Barbara Stanwyck trumpeting the art of home cooking and domesticity when in fact she lives alone and on take-out from “uncle” Felix’s (S.Z. Sakall) restaurant. When her publisher (Sydney Greenstreet) insists that she give a wounded war veteran (Jefferson Jones) a classic American Christmas, she concocts an elaborate charade with the help of successful architect (Reginald Gardiner) who has romantic notions of his own.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) d. Stoller, Nicholas (USA) (1st viewing)

Jason Segel (who also wrote the script) rises to leading man status as a sad sack composer whose TV-star girlfriend (Kristen Bell) leaves him for an obnoxious pop idol (Russell Brand). Looking to escape everyday life, Segel heads to Hawaii… where the two new lovebirds are also vacationing, but hotel desk concierge Mila Kunis might just provide the distraction he needs. Fun stuff.

French Kiss (1995) d. Kasdan, Lawrence (USA) (1st viewing)

Meg Ryan at her Meg Ryanest gets dumped by Timothy Hutton and flies off to France to get him back, encountering jewel thief Kevin Kline en route; it's absolutely her movie, and she kills it with so many little levels of insecurity and joy and doubt. While I enjoy Kline as a rule, it feels as though he’s in another movie than everyone else –his Fake Franche Accent next to authentico Francophones like Jean Reno and Francois Cluzet (who are both superb and should have had more to do) feels goofy and not in a good way. I enjoyed the slight but pleasing story overall but I wish that they had found Kline’s French counterpart and used this film to launch him to stardom. (Cluzet could have been great in the part.)

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988) d. Zucker, David (USA) (6th viewing)

While Airplane! may be more quotable, I would argue that this zany big-screen introduction of Lt. Frank Drebin (from the failed TV show Police Squad!) delivers more full-on belly laughs. Leslie Nielsen, who became an enormous comedy star afterwards, despite having already enjoyed a long career playing small-screen guest spots and big-screen heavies (Day of the Animals, Creepshow). Look up the memorable quotes on IMBd and let the smiles begin. (Watched with Zucker-Abrams-Zucker commentary, which is enlightening and entertaining in its own right.)

Overboard (1987) d. Marshall, Garry (USA) (1st viewing)

In their second onscreen pairing (following Swing Shift), Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell respectively play a snooty millionaire and a rough-and-tumble carpenter who end up playing house after she falls off her yacht and emerges from the briny deep with amnesia. While the premise is undeniably questionable in its overall morality, Russell’s character never takes advantage of his fictitious husbandly privileges, making her sleep on the couch (with the slobbering dogs) instead, which makes it a little less offensive than its initial premise led me to fear. And yes, we’ve added another Kurt Kredit to this year’s tally (8).

HIGH OCTANE CRUISING:

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018) d. McQuarrie, Christopher (USA) (1st viewing)

While not as much sheer joyful fun as M:I - Ghost Protocol, this is a marvelous bounce-back from the dip that was Rogue Nation, with mind-blowing stunt work and an expanded ensemble of players that now includes Angela Bassett. I am still bummed they didn’t invite Paula Patton back to play with the boys, but it seems like Rebecca Ferguson has been given plenty to do to fill the void left by Jeremy Renner’s ongoing Avengers gigs. For those keeping track, this is the first direct sequel within the series, directly following the events (and antagonist) of Rogue Nation, as well as the first time we’ve had a repeat director. The bathroom fight is a decided highlight, and the holy guacamole helicopter jousting finale is a thing of wonder.

Top Gun (1986) d. Scott, Tony (USA) (5th viewing)

“Revvin’ up your engine, listen to her howlin’ roar, metal under tension, beggin’ you to touch and go. Highway to the Danger Zone. Ride into the Danger Zone. Headin’ into twilight, spreadin’ out her wings tonight. She got you jumpin’ off the deck and shovin’ into overdrive. Highway to the Danger Zone. I’ll take you ridin’ into the Danger Zone. You’ll never say hello to you until you get it on the red line overload. You’ll never know what you can do until you get it up as high as you can goooooooooo… Out along the edges always where I burn to be. The further on the edge, the hotter the intensity. Highway to the Danger Zone. Gonna take you right into the Danger Zone.”

You’re welcome.

DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP:

My Favorite Brunette (1947) d. Nugent, Elliot (USA) (1st viewing)

Fast and furious vehicle for its wisecracking star, Bob Hope, playing a portrait photographer who longs to be a private detective, made even more popular through frequent television showings after it fell into public domain. When beautiful dame Dorothy Lamour (co-star of the “Road” pictures with Hope and Bing Crosby) shows up looking for someone to locate her scientist father, Hope steps into the trenchcoat and the stage is set for all manner of missing persons, mistaken identity, and misdirection for maximum comedic effect. Lon Chaney and Peter Lorre co-star, the former already slipping into decline, though his triumph as Lennie in 1939’s Of Mice and Men was still clear enough in people’s minds for Hope to make a few “rabbits” jokes. Other than its star, no connection to 1942’s My Favorite Blonde.

The Paleface (1948) d. McLeod, Norman Z. (USA) (1st viewing)

Hope stars as “Painless” Peter Potter, an inept frontier dentist who falls in with Calamity Jane (Jane Russell), she having been commissioned by the U.S. government to find out who has been smuggling guns to the Indians. Seen through the lens of 70 years gone by, it’s hard to muster much of a chuckle at the scene where Jane mows down a dozen or so Native Americans so that Potter can take credit and become a hero to the townspeople, but even without the PC concerns, it’s a lesser vessel for the comedian, with fewer snappy retorts and more physical mugging overall, despite the hefty screenwriting trio of Edmund L. Hartmann, Frank Tashlin, and Jack Rose. (Tashlin directed the sequel, Son of Paleface, in 1952 as one of his first feature efforts.) Oscar winner for Best Original Song, “Buttons and Bows.”

2017 Totals to date: 153 films, 104 1st time views, 58 horror, 21 cinema

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Friends, Ro-Mans (of the Robot Monster variety), Countrymen, lend me your steers….

It’s funny what having a little spare time, i.e. only working one job (upending governments in GVT’s production of Julius Caesar) instead of 12, can do for a person’s viewing habits and enthusiasms. Managed to pack in a wealth of Views over the course of the past couple weeks, and we’ve still got the rest of September to go before we dive headlong into this year’s installment of the October Horror Movie Challenge!

Many thanks to the Lewisburg Public Library for providing ample viewing material on DVD, inspiring several unexpected trends (didn’t know it was going to be Western Week until it was) and the opportunity for both revisits and virgin voyages alike. Ditto my castmates with their high-tech streaming capabilities, and similar horror inclinations. Always more fun with a crowd!

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

The Belko Experiment (2016) d. McLean, Greg (USA) (1st viewing)

Despite never really being more than a variation on Battle Royale (the classic J-horror that almost certainly inspired The Hunger Games), this high-concept gore-fest delivers exactly what the premise promises: 80 office workers are trapped in an armored high-rise and instructed to kill one another by a mysterious voice over the intercom. If they refuse, a small detonator implanted in their brains eliminates them from the playing field. Social experiments don’t come much bloodier than this, and the cast (which includes Tony Goldwyn, John C. McGinley, John Gallagher Jr., Adria Arjona, Michael Rooker, and Sean Gunn) are more than happy to get their collective hands dirty. Written by James Gunn (yes, the Guardians of the Galaxy guy returns to his horror roots!) and directed with panache by McLean (Wolf Creek, Rogue).

Deadfall Trail (2009) d. Roze (USA) (1st viewing)

Found on a discarded 8-pack of horror flicks, this barely qualifies since it’s much more a low-budget survival drama following three young bucks who go off into the wilderness proving ground together and run up against challenges from the elements and each other. I will give credit to the fine cinematography, which captures the natural rugged beauty, and the performances from our three leads (Shane Dean, Cavin Gray, Slade Hall) are all fine. It’s a noble independent effort that could have used a bit more time in the screenwriting percolator is all.

Ghost Ship (2002) d. Beck, Steve (USA) (2nd viewing)

A young girl (Emily Browning, six years from playing Babydoll in SuckerPunch) witnesses a horrific accident on board a luxury ocean liner, a show-stopping opening set-piece of bloodletting that this Dark Castle effort never quite matches again. Flashing forward a few decades to Gabriel Byrne’s salvage crew being enticed into tracking down the floating tombstone, the stage is set for our intrepid scavengers to encounter all manner of bizarre and macabre imagery, much of it ultimately lethal to their existence. The ensemble is capable enough (Juliana Margulies, Desmond Harrington, Ron Eldard, Karl Urban, Isaiah Washington, with the very fetching Francesca Rettondini providing the sexiest sequences) while the CG f/x and script (by Mark Hanlon and John Pogue) fall on the lazy side. Director Beck helmed the (slightly) superior Thir13een Ghosts the year before.

He Never Died (2015) d. Krawczyk, Jason (USA) (2nd viewing)

Watched this for a second time with a group of folks and it holds up just dandy. More supernatural dark comedy than full-blooded horror flick, Henry Rollins (who also exec-produced) is perfection as an immortal so completely over his own existence, yet consistently caught up in trouble with hoodlums and thugs and forgotten offspring. Steven Ogg and Jordan Todosey offer fantastic support respectively as a small-time kingpin and a wayward wild child, while Kate Greenhouse’s frustrated and eternally nonplussed waitress steals our hearts with her every stifled exhalation of hope. Kudos to writer/director Krawczyk for creating memorable characters and banal situations for them to richly inhabit.

The Song of Solomon (2017) d. Biro, Stephen (USA) (1st viewing)

***CLICK HERE FOR FULL BLU-RAY REVIEW***

Strait-Jacket (1964) d. Castle, William (USA) (4th viewing)

The casting of aging starlet Joan Crawford, hot off the success of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, proved to be one of William Castle’s finest gimmicks, and the grand dame gives it her all as a recently released axe murderess trying to reintegrate herself into society and into now-grown daughter Diane Baker’s life. Watching Crawford go bananas in high style does lend the film a camp appeal, but Robert Bloch’s script keeps a lid on the melodrama and Castle surrounds his star with a fine ensemble, including Baker, George Kennedy and Mitchell Cox.

Newly available on Blu-ray from Shout! Factory, and while I haven’t yet had a chance to dig through the extras, there’s a three-way commentary with Steve Haberman, David J. Schow, and Constantine Nasr that I’m itching to give a listen to, alongside an “Ax-swinging Screen Test,” a making-of doc entitled “Battle Ax,” “On the Road with Joan Crawford” (with publicist Richard Kahn), and “Joan Had Me Fired,” an interview with Ann Helm who was originally cast in Baker’s role before being given the boot by her tempestuous co-star. Sounds like our S!F folks have done themselves proud again.

https://www.shoutfactory.com/product/strait-jacket?product_id=6778

CIVILIAN:

Black Hawk Down (2001) d. Scott, Ridley (USA) (2nd viewing)

I remembered seeing this in the cinema and being overwhelmed by the extraordinary and immersive sound design, to the point of not remembering anything else. This time I was able to track the story and the characters with more clarity and appreciate the blend of drama and technique, plus identifying all those now-familiar faces helped. (Hello, li'l Tom Hardy.) Arguably the last great film Scott has directed. Fun seeing Ron Eldard show up in this and then Ghost Ship, although probably less fun for Ron.

Grease 2 (1982) d. Birch, Patricia (USA) (1st viewing)

Birch, who served as choreographer for the original 1978 smash hit starring Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta, landed in the director’s chair for the sequel, but without a finished script or a hit Broadway show’s worth of musical numbers from which to draw. The undeniably dodgy results are equal parts enthusiasm and desperation, with a fresh-faced cast of rising hopefuls singing and dancing their hearts out to sub-par tunes and lyrics. There is a certain charm to the proceedings, much like watching a high school musical where effort counts for something, even if it never approaches the polish and pizzazz of the original. Notable for being Michelle Pfeiffer’s first leading role (and might have been her last if not for her sexy turn in Brian De Palma’s Scarface the following year). 1980s hunk Adrian Zmed plays our lead Greaser, given solid support by Christopher MacDonald (Thelma & Louise, Happy Gilmore), while screen veterans Connie Stevens, Eve Arden, Tab Hunter, Sid Caesar, Dody Goodman, and Didi Conn (reprising her “Frenchy” character) shore up the sometimes wobbly foundations.

The Mosquito Coast (1986) d. Weir, Peter (USA) (2nd viewing)

I recalled being less-than-taken with this on its initial release, but I couldn't be sure if that was my true memory or if it was the less-than-stellar critical acclaim permeating my memory. Upon revisit, I certainly appreciated what Weir and star Harrison Ford (re-teaming after their success on 1985’s Witness) were going for – an uncompromising vision of an uncompromising man's vision – but it does make for a tough sit at times since Ford’s inventor character is such a fanatic and thoroughly unlikable by the end.

The Professional (1994) d. Besson, Luc (France) (3rd viewing)

Putting the focus on Jean Reno’s laconic hit man (aka “cleaner”) character from 1990’s La Femme Nikita (and changing the name from Viktor to Leon), writer/director Besson serves up one of his finest efforts to date, effortlessly combining scenes of breathtaking action and high opera melodramatics (courtesy of hysterical baddie cop Gary Oldman). But it is the unusual and tender love story between the utilitarian-minded hired killer and his world-weary orphaned neighbor (an 11-year-old Natalie Portman, making her screen debut) that elevates this B-movie premise to cult classic.

Revolution (1985) d. Hudson, Hugh (UK) (1st viewing)

Roundly dismissed by critics and ignored by audiences during its theatrical run, this infamously messy and unglamorous view of the British/American conflict stalled the once-hot careers of both director Hudson (Chariots of Fire, Greystoke) and star Al Pacino (who didn’t work again until 1989’s Sea of Love). Looking at it 30 years later, it’s easy to see why audiences didn’t respond to an ambivalent view of armed conflict (this was the age of Rambo and Missing in Action, after all) or to Pacino’s contemporary presence – and inexplicable accent – in a costume drama. By no means a forgotten classic, and the re-edited “Revolution Revisited” home video release feels a little desperate in its attempt to please (adding pages of narration to support the muddy, bloody imagery), but it’s not the Heaven’s Gate-level train wreck I was expecting. (Then again, neither was Heaven's Gate.)

Team America: World Police (2004) d. Parker, Trey (USA) (3rd viewing)

When I first saw his and Matt Stone’s send-up of Joel Silver/Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay action flicks – as realized through the Chiodo Brothers’ brilliant supermarionation – I proclaimed that writer/director Parker was one of the unsung musical theatre geniuses of our age who would never receive the recognition he deserves because he chose to celebrate his subversive gifts through the artistry of cut-out animation on South Park. What a difference a decade and a certain Tony-winning musical (The Book of Mormon) can make. Revisiting, I still find it (almost) as funny as SP: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, managing to make mock of everyone from Matt Damon and Alec Baldwin to Kim Jong-il and the cast of Rent. Silly and stupid, witty and wild, rude and raunchy with puppet gore and puppet sex and puppet puke galore, this ain’t your grampa’s Thunderbirds episode.

WILD, WILD WEEK OF WESTERNS:

Broken Arrow (1950) d. Daves, Delmer (USA) (1st viewing)

James Stewart delivers his stalwart best attempting to establish a tenuous peace treaty with Cochise (Oscar-nominated Jeff Chandler) to allow the U.S. mail to go through. Simply and effectively presented moral fable, impressive for its thoughtful and sympathetic presentation of the Native Americans.

Duel in the Sun (1946) d. Vidor, King (USA) (1st viewing)

Gregory Peck plays a bad, bad man with eyes for “half-breed” Jennifer Jones in this steamy, overblown melodrama of a divided family within a divided Texas. Lionel Barrymore scowls and harangues from his wheelchair, while Joseph Cotton and Lillian Gish present the more sensible and sensitive side.

Flaming Star (1960) d. Siegel, Don (USA) (1st viewing)

Elvis only breaks out the guitar for one song (in the first scene, no less), and then settles down for a surprisingly solid and complex view of loyalties and racism on the frontier plains. The King is in fine dramatic form here, with Barbara Eden, Steve Forrest, Delores Del Rio, John McIntire, and Richard Jaeckel rounding out a fine cast overseen by Siegel (Dirty Harry).

Hombre (1967) d. Ritt, Martin (USA) (1st viewing)

As a white man raised by Apaches who returns to “civilized life” to claim a boarding house owned by his biological father, Paul Newman doesn’t offer a wide emotional palette but he more than makes up for it in sheer screen presence. During an ill-fated stagecoach ride, Richard Boone’s thief sets his eye on Fredric March’s embezzled cash and has no qualms about eliminating witnesses, forcing Newman to become a reluctant and ruthless guardian of the other passengers.

Lonesome Dove (1989) d. Wincer, Simon (USA) (1st viewing)

Figured it was finally time to sit down with the epic, critically acclaimed and universally beloved miniseries event that sparked a dozen spin-offs and sequels. I was not disappointed. Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones split the Emmy votes (allowing James Woods to walk off with top honors for My Name is Bill W), leading a fantastic ensemble of players and hundreds of horses and cattle across the plains, bringing Larry McMurtry’s extraordinary tapestry of flawed and flinty characters to vivid life. Fun fact: McMurtry originally wrote the story as a screenplay, but when no one picked it up, he turned it into a novel… which subsequently won the Pulitzer Prize.

The Shakiest Gun in the West (1968) d. Rafkin, Alan (USA) (1st viewing)

Remake of the Bob Hope vehicle The Paleface (which I just stumbled across a few weeks ago), with Don Knotts as the tenderfoot dentist roped into assisting Barbara Rhodes’ undercover outlaw trying to discover who is selling guns to the “savages.” Like the original, it’s hardly PC in its portrayal of Native Americans, which is something viewers need to accept (and forgive) in order to enjoy the light comedy offered, but it’s no more offensive than any number of classic Westerns. ‘Tis a quandary.

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) d. Eastwood, Clint (USA) (2nd viewing)

While not his first Western in the director’s chair (that would be 1973’s High Plains Drifter, a personal favorite of mine), this is perhaps Squint’s most accomplished effort in the genre until Unforgiven (1992). Well-paced tale of one man’s quest for vengeance against the Union troops that murdered his family in Missouri during the Civil War, ultimately assembling a new family as he presses south into Texas. Chief Dan George, Will Sampson, and Geraldine Keams offer three-dimensional portraits of Native Americans, with Sondra Locke and Paula Trueman memorable as Kansas settlers fallen on hard times. Sterling character actors John Vernon, Bill McKinney, Sam Bottoms, Matt Clarke, Frank Schoefield, Doug McGrath, Charles Tyner, Joyce Jameson, Len Lesser, William O’Connell, and Royal Dano round out the field.

13-YEAR TOM-SPANS:

Rain Man (1988) d. Levinson, Barry (USA) (6th viewing)

Tom Cruise was already a bona-fide movie star at this point, but here was the indisputable evidence he could hold his own in the dramatic arena. Co-star Dustin Hoffman might have won the Oscar playing autistic savant Raymond Babbitt, peppering his speech with now-iconic phrasings of “12 minutes to Wapner,” “Definitely,” and “yeah,” among others, but it’s brother Charlie’s emotional journey that we follow, from callow selfish entrepreneur to empathetic human being and Cruise delivers big time. Trivia: Hoffman was originally approached to play Charlie, with Bill Murray to play Raymond, but when Hoffman decided to switch roles, Murray passed and the rest is history.

Vanilla Sky (2001) d. Crowe, Cameron (USA) (2nd viewing)

Cruise reunited with his Jerry Maguire director (for which he received his second Best Actor Oscar nomination) for this remake – or “remix” as Crowe prefers – of Alejandro Amenabar’s 1997 psychological thriller Open Your Eyes. Unfortunately, the star seems a little out of his element, his flashy rich publisher character trapped behind facial prosthetics and/or prosthetic make-ups following a devastating car accident, and Crowe’s free-form script is less the original’s precision-timed puzzle box and more a bunch of puzzle pieces spilled on a tabletop to be sorted. Penelope Cruz (who plays the same “Sofia” character in both films) is exotic effervescence exemplified while Cameron Diaz sizzles as Cruise’s sometime lover whose million-dollar smile and razor-sharp claws protect her surprisingly vulnerable heart.

Edge of Tomorrow (2014) d. Liman, Doug (USA) (2nd viewing)

Another fun high-concept time-travel piece that failed to find its target summer audience despite the presence of A-list stars (Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton) and Liman in his whiz-bang wheelhouse. Some blamed the supremely forgettable title (from the graphic novel source material), which was subsequently replaced by its “Live. Die. Repeat.” tagline for home video. Happily, it seems to have steadily earned a growing reputation ever since, which is good news since Cruise is absolutely terrific here, showing off considerable comic timing and vulnerability while playing against his natural supercool (a trait that has served him well in the latter Mission: Impossible installments), and badass Blunt matches him step for step. Fans will also enjoy watching the special features of Tom Cruise and Co. working and developing the futuristic battle suits; likewise, reading the background intel, comparisons between the film and the manga, and time-loop theories (on the IMDb trivia page) was equally enlightening and entertaining.

2017 Totals to date: 175 films, 114 1st time views, 64 horror, 21 cinema

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Spawned at the turn of the century with little fanfare or major star power, this horror franchise from New Line Cinema cranked out five installments over the course of a dozen years, with Death itself the successor to such classic movie murderers as Freddy, Jason, or Michael. With a fantastic (and repeatable) formula of having individuals escape their pre-destined demise only to be subsequently knocked off on a one-by-one basis, it reinvigorated the body count movie, spinning the rudder away from the relatively bloodless ’90s by re-embracing the gore of yore to the tune of over $700 million worldwide.

Final Destination (2000) d. James Wong (USA)

While boarding Flight 180 to France with his class, Alex (Devon Sawa) has a frightening and vivid premonition of the aircraft exploding. His panic gets him and six of his fellow passengers off the plane... which then proceeds to explode as foreseen, but as the days following the accident demonstrate, Death is not happy to be cheated. With a terrific high-concept by Jeffrey Reddick (fleshed out into a shared screenplay credit with Glen Morgan and director Wong), an attractive and enthusiastic ensemble of young players, and a never-ending parade of “creative” offings, it’s not surprising this moderately budgeted zippy flick resonated with fright fans exhausted by a glut of Scream knock-offs. Genre aficionados will also enjoy the fact that most of the characters are named after famous horror icons (Browning, Lewton, Chaney, Hitchcock, Murnau, Schreck, Weine, Murnau, Waggner) and a cameo from Tony (Candyman) Todd.

Deaths: asphyxiation in shower, hit by bus, impaled by knife then blown up, beheaded by flying piece of metal, hit by falling sign

Final Destination 2 (2003) d. David R. Ellis (USA)

Kicking off with arguably the best of the opening set-pieces, an explosive highway pile-up, this is one of the rare sequels that actually improves on the original, sharpening and sweetening the formula without losing an ounce of fun. Kimberly (A.J. Cook) is the one who has the premonition this time around, stalling her SUV in the exit ramp and saving another half dozen people from their fiery fate, but when her friends start kicking off, she seeks out the only survivor from the previous film, Clear Rivers (Ali Larter) to change their fates. The diverse array of onscreen mortality is applause-worthy while the trend of giving characters famous genre surnames continues (Corman, Lewis, Carpenter), albeit a bit more haphazardly this time around.

Deaths: impaled through the eye by fire escape ladder, crushed by falling plane of glass, beheaded in elevator, airbag/PVC pipe combo, sectioned by flying barbed-wire fence, incinerated in hospital explosion, BBQ explosion

Final Destination 3 (2006) d. James Wong (USA)

If you liked the first two... For our third go-round, it’s a rollercoaster disaster foreseen by a formerly non-psychic character (pre-stardom Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and death is averted for the time being. But the Grim Reaper will not be put off and soon those who escaped being rail-kill are creatively dispatched through an array of gruesome “accidents.” The set-ups are silly and the characters paper-thin, but the multitude of gory money-shots is what we came for and director Wong and co-screenwriter Glen Morgan (who wrote and directed the Black Christmas remake the same year) deliver the goods.

Deaths: tanning bed two-fer, engine block to the back of the head, weight plate skull-crusher, nail gun (repeatedly) to back of head, impaled by flagpole, crushed by metal support platform, and an impressive subway splatterfest finale which takes out four named characters in one fell swoop!

The Final Destination (2009) d. David R. Ellis (USA)

With 3D making its big comeback, it was only a matter of time before various sharp and/or heavy objects started hurtling toward the screen in grand destructo fashion, and what better series to make use of such an opportunity? The setting is a motor speedway, the opening incident is a grand guignol of flying metal and rubber, and the ensuing multitude of murderous mishaps are pleasingly messy, but the efforts of Ellis, solo screenwriter Eric Bress (both returning from the superior FD2), and our CG team feel a little anemic in all arenas. Similarly, the cast are all pretty pretty pretty and vacant vacant vacant, with even genre vet Justin Welborn (The Signal, Dance of the Dead, The Crazies, Halloween II) phoning it as a character listed on IMDb simply as “Racist” (even though he is clearly referred to as “Carter Daniels” in the film). The equivalent of a horror film Milky Way bar: You couldn’t live on it, there’s no substance, it isn’t entirely what you wanted, but somehow suffices anyway.

Deaths: decapitated by flying tire, dragged down street on fire and then exploded, lawnmower-launched rock through eye, launched into and sectioned by chain-link fence, gutted by pool drain, therapy tub falling through ceiling, hit by ambulance, skewered in cinema by flying spike (explosion provided by “spontaneously combustible” oil drum), escalator munch, truck-through-café-window three-fer (computer-generated x-ray vision, no less)

Final Destination 5 (2011) d. Steven Quale (USA)

With a new director (Quale, making his big screen debut) and screenwriter (Eric Heisserer, who also penned the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, The Thing prequel, and Lights Out– a feature-length version of the short film – before earning an Adapted Screenplay Oscar nod for 2016’s Arrival), this installment served as a big bounce-back for the flagging franchise. An in-your-face 3D suspension bridge accident (the most lengthy and elaborate of the bunch) serves as the curtain-raiser, and with established character actors such as Courtney B. Vance and David Koechner elevating the proceedings, the cavalcade of carnage is expertly executed (heyo) and perfectly punctuates the better-than-usual plotline, up to and including the last-second twist ending/beginning. The “greatest hits” final credits featuring most of the series’ 60+ onscreen deaths is the icing on proverbial cake, and even Tony Todd returns (having taken the previous chapter off) to cash his check and rumble his rumbles.

Deaths: gymnastics free-fall, acupuncture blaze followed by Buddha head-bash, lasik surgery mishap/tumble out high-rise window, heavy machinery head hook, wrench to the face, rotisserie skewer, airplane explosion, airplane wheel from sky.

Wait, what the heck are you doing here, AC?

Yes, I actually watched enough flickers over the course of a single week to justify a post, but more importantly, I’m trying to stay ahead of the madness in order to be ready for the October Horror Movie Challenge looming just over the horizon. Now that the senators are loose in Rome (Julius Caesar at Greenbrier Valley Theatre, running through Oct 6), there was a time to squeeze in a few more flicks, which included a five-film dance with Death (Final Destination) and a three-way boogie with 007 (Daniel Craig style).

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!

HORROR:

Kill Cruise (aka Der Skipper) (1990) d. Keglevic, Peter (West Germany) (1st viewing)

Two comely British lasses (Patsy Kensit, Elizabeth Hurley) find themselves stuck in Gibraltar on the southern coast of Spain, performing their lackluster cabaret act (and resorting to other acts if the cash runs low, if you know what I mean). They latch onto a wastrel German sailor (Jurgen Prochnow) who drunkenly agrees to sail them to the West Indies, but once they are on the water, suspicions and secrets and entanglements abound. Having been a fan of all three actors in other films, this seemed like fairly safe bet, but without a genuine plot, it’s a lot like being trapped on a boat with three neurotics (the worst offender being Kensit’s high-pitched self-absorbed whiner) with nowhere to escape. It’s not a total waste due to the generous amount of bikini time and a last-minute WTF plot/character twist that pretty much comes out of nowhere in order to justify the title, but it’s a slog nonetheless.

The Wolfman (2010) d. Johnston, Joe (USA) (2nd viewing)

Somber and foreboding to the saturation point, this joyless remake of the 1941 Universal classic sports an Oscar-winning make-up design by Rick Baker that is “sweetened” with computer-generated effects to the point of being pointless. Sadly, this is also Johnston’s approach to the entire production, layering artifice upon artifice (a la Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow) such that we might as well be watching a cartoon, albeit an undeniably gorgeous one. Benicio del Toro, so thrilled to play the role of Lawrence Talbot (the first actor to do so since Lon Chaney) that he signed on as a producer, is drab and glum throughout, bringing none of the enthusiastic spark of his predecessor. Similarly, as Sir John Talbot, Anthony Hopkins does his patented measured, menacing, mysterious Autopilot Hopkins purr from beginning to end. With zero tension and perfunctory episodes of lycanthropic splatter, it’s a $150 million-dollar borefest that concludes with a fur-flying finale straight out of Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk feature. (Remember that one? Didn’t think so.)

YOUR DESTINATION IS ON THE LEFT:

Final Destination (2000) d. Wong, James (USA) (2nd viewing)
Final Destination 2 (2003) d. Ellis, David R. (USA) (2nd viewing)
Final Destination 3 (2006) d. Wong, James (USA) (2nd viewing)
The Final Destination (2009) d. Ellis, David R. (USA) (2nd viewing)
Final Destination 5 (2011) d. Quale, Steven (USA) (2nd viewing)

***READ FULL FRANCHISE REVIEW HERE***

CIVILIAN:

Silverado (1985) d. Kasdan, Lawrence (USA) (2nd viewing)

Solid cast, story, direction, production values, social commentary, action scenes, et al. It feels like everyone is really having fun playing cowboys, even if it never really feels like more than play. I would say that it lacks the gravity of a modern classic Western a la Unforgiven or Open Range, but that’s a pretty high bar and the film remains genuinely entertaining, so we’ll leave it at that.

True Lies (1994) d. Cameron, James (USA) (2nd viewing)

I would like to see the original film that this is based on (didn’t know it was a remake of 1991’s La Totale! until after this most recent viewing), just to see if the story goes down better without the unironic “America F**k Yeah” posturing. Arnold does a fine job straddling the line between action and comedy, although the laughs felt crueler this time around and the portrayal of the Middle Eastern fanatic “enemy” carelessly cartoonish. The stunts are undeniably impressive, and Jamie Lee Curtis is phenomenal in her Golden Globe-winning turn as a frustrated housewife turned reluctant superagent, but it will probably be another 20 years before I come back around to this one.

TOM CRUISE: SHOW ME THE MINORITY:

Jerry Maguire (1996) d. Crowe, Cameron (USA) (3rd viewing)

Cruise is a cocky sports agent who grows a conscience and gets himself fired from his agency for writing a “mission statement” about focusing more on the clients than on the endorsement dollars. Cuba Gooding, Jr. won the Supporting Actor Oscar playing arrogant and insecure wide receiver Rod Tidwell (but now I’m looking back and thinking… hmmmmm... William H. Macy in Fargo), and Renee Zellwegger hit the big time with her heartbreaking single mom (saddled with Jonathan Lipnicki) who falls for JZ. It’s a cute movie with some killer lines and solid performances and maybe that’s all that anyone should hope for, but in retrospect it’s a little hard to believe that this was a Best Picture nominee the same year that Sling Blade and Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet were not.

Minority Report (2002) d. Spielberg, Steven (USA) (2nd viewing)

Based on a 1956 Philip K. Dick short story, Our Man Tom plays “Pre-Crime” detective John Anderton in Washington D.C., able to use technology to predict and prevent murders before they occur, thanks to a trio of mutants known as the “PreCogs,” the most powerful of which is Agatha (Samantha Morton). As the program prepares to go nationwide, Anderton’s red ball comes up, stating that he will be the next to commit murder, and the race is on to see if fate can be changed and if flies can be spotted in the ointment before the ticking clock runs out. I liked this better the second time around, but it still feels emotionally barren, strange for a film that deals openly with losses of both children and parents.

THE TIES THAT BOND:

Casino Royale (2006) d. Campbell, Martin (UK/USA) (2nd viewing)

Revisiting the opening three films of the “rebirth of Bond,” with Daniel Craig at the helm (and having just zipped through the Brosnan era – more on those in the next installment), it’s easy to see why people were so enthusiastic to have a no-nonsense secret agent on the job, one more akin to Jason Bourne than Inspector Gadget. Casino Royale kicks off with an amazing foot chase, employing elements of parkour, and never looks back, setting the standard for what action films could be, aided immeasurably by the presence of Mads Mikkelsen as blood-crying supervillain Le Chiffre and a legit emotional relationship with Bond and Vesper Lynn (Eva Green).

Quantum of Solace (2008) d. Forster, Marc (UK/USA) (2nd viewing)

It’s no surprise then that the follow-up (which is, in fact, a direct sequel – a rarity within the Bond universe) had a hard time following up, though it delivers some incredible action sequences – the scaffolding fight belongs on some top 10 list somewhere – and a complex female lead (Olga Kurylenko) whose marvelous character arc nearly eclipses Bond’s story. Mathieu Almaric does fine, but the wide stripe of pettiness within his megalomania makes him less interesting in the roster of Bond villains – his axe-swinging hysteria in the fiery finale feels like a desperate, outclassed man rather than a true god battle. Still, I argue that QoS is better than you remembered it to be and worth another look.

Skyfall (2012) d. Mendes, Sam (UK/USA) (2nd viewing)

Then there’s Skyfall, perhaps the best 007 outing to date, which sports a thrilling opening chase sequence through the crowded market streets and ultimately onto the back of a moving train, and an Oscar-worthy final turn (of seven) from Judi Dench as taciturn MI6 head, M. She makes it look easy, but there are so many levels going on beneath her carefully composed demeanor, especially once Javier Bardem’s slippery psychopath makes his presence – and his history to Dench – known. The explosive finale might have you wondering if the walls of Skyfall Lodge were built of frozen napalm, but it’s all to the good.

2017 Totals to date: 189 films, 115 1st time views, 71 horror, 21 cinema

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