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LIFEFORCE (1985) movie review

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Lifeforce (1985) d. Hooper, Tobe (UK/USA)

Based on Colin Wilson’s novel The Space Vampires, a team of astronauts encounter a ship lodged within the head of Halley’s Comet and discover three humanoid creatures encased in coffin-like crystalline blocks. As any genre film fan can predict, as soon as they get them back to earth, blocks are going to crack and heads are going to roll.



But, in the name of red-blooded adolescent heterosexual males everywhere, the primary reason to watch lies in the glory that is Mathilda May’s impossibly sexy usually-buck-naked soul-sucker.







Seriously, I could do this all day...

Hooper does a fine job of keeping the action moving along as U.S. astronaut Steve Railsback and SIS agent Peter Firth attempt to track down the interstellar menace. The keeee-razzzy scenes of panic and mayhem as the population of greater London is bled dry of their precious electrical blue fizzies and zombified are great fun, as is watching a pre-Star Trek Patrick Stewart strut his stuff as a histrionic asylum official.


Nick Maley's terrific makeup effects and animatronics are also worthy of mention. Oddly enough, they bring to mind another well-loved 1985 cult feature, Return of the Living Dead, where f/x maestro Tony Gardner whipped up a similarly impressive chatty half-corpse for director Dan O'Bannon, who would inherit ROTLD from Hooper after the latter dropped the project to tackle this one.


Speaking of which, Lifeforce's spirited screenplay was written by none other than O’Bannon and fellow sci-fi vet Don Jakoby which, while a mite chatty and occasionally campy (especially when delivered in Frank Finlay's plummy tones), admirably applies an intriguing twist to the classic vampire myth. Sadly, John Dykstra's befuddling special-effects bonanza finale and Henry Mancini's zippity-doo-dah score denies the film the much-needed nudge of coherency required to put it over the top.


No lost classic, but a splendidly overripe slice of Golan-Globus cheese, coming April 30 to DVD and Blu-Ray in a special Collector's Edition from the always terrific Shout! Factory.


Fool's Views (1/28 – 2/18)

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Howdy, folks,

Well, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll see that I’ve not be idle even if the Fool’s Views themselves have been absent. Clearing out the Doc’s closet of reviews from the past 5-6 years and airing them out in the fresh cyberspace has taken time but it’s been both a gratifying walk down memory lane as well as the opportunity to spark conversation regarding films that I had seen prior to kicking off this current iteration of my mad-brained blithering blather. Hope you’ve been enjoying the ride thus far.

However, to get caught up with current events after a three-week hiatus, here are the latest flicks for clicking. Hope you like. (Films with a longer review can be accessed through the title link.)

As always, feel free to leave your two cents worth – we’ll make sure you get some change back.

Enjoy!



HORROR:


Beast Beneath (2011) (1st viewing) d. Higgins, Julian (USA)





Cherry Tree Lane (2010) (1st viewing) d. Williams, Paul Andrew (UK)





Possession, The (2012)(1st viewing) d. Bornedal, Ole (USA)





President's Day (2010) (1st viewing) d. LaMartina, Chris (USA)




CIVIILIAN:



Duplicity (2009) (1st viewing) d. Gilroy, Tony (USA)

Clive Owen and Julia Roberts headline as a pair of corporate espionage operatives who fall for one another but are so deeply distrustful of the world at large and each other in particular that both their long-term romantic prospects and their scheme to steal a top secret formula from cosmetics mogul are fraught with suspense and over-the-shoulder glances. As their employer and Wilkinson’s rival, Paul Giamatti tears into his every scene like a ravenous rabid Rottweiler, and writer/director Gilroy’s thorny script keeps us on our toes. The leads are fine, but it’s Gilroy who’s the star.





Looper (2012)(1st viewing) d. Johnson, Rian (USA)






Tattoo (1981) (3rd viewing) d. Brooks, Bob (USA)






X, Y and Zee (1972) (1st viewing) d. Hutton, Brian G. (UK)

Thoroughly disappointing display of established actors rendering caricatures of themselves rather than genuine characters. As the harridan wife of eternal philanderer Michael Caine, Elizabeth Taylor is content to put forth a generic version of her Martha from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Caine, meanwhile, appears to have been saving his energy for his face-off with Laurence Olivier in Sleuth later that year, doing not-bad impression of…Michael Caine. Susannah York, she of the dewy skin and faraway eyes (who would also lodge a much better performance in 1972 with Robert Altman’s Images) does her best as a quietly suffering widower who falls under Caine’s spell, but she’s such a doormat that it’s hard to dredge up any empathy for her. Not sure how this ended up in my queue, but it definitely belongs at the end of the alphabet and near the bottom of anyone’s to-see list.



DOCUMENTARIES:


Searching for Sugar Man (2012) (1st viewing) d. Bendjelloul, Malik (Sweden/UK)

In the early 70s, a talented Detroit singer/songwriter named Rodriguez released two albums, both of which were non-starters, and he faded from public consciousness. Unbeknownst to anyone, these LPs made their way to South Africa and, in bootleg form and later through legit releases, proceeded to serve as a soundtrack for the anti-apartheid movement. One of those “you wouldn’t believe it if it weren’t true” stories that capture the imagination and the heart…which is why it will probably be this year’s Oscar winner.





56 Up! (2012) (1st viewing) d. Apted, Michael (UK)






Religulous (2008) (1st viewing) d. Charles, Larry (USA)

Comedian and professional shit disturber Bill Maher takes to the road and skies to skewer religions the world over, poking fun at (and holes in) faith and sacred beliefs. Maher’s point to be made is that it’s all silly, that living one’s life according to age-old dogma and traditions that were primarily designed to a) control the masses through fear and b) give mankind some comfort in times of confusion and despair is short-sighted and nothing less than delusional. He may have a point and some of his targets receive a well-deserved skewering, but the pervasive tone of snarky nastiness (a brand trademark) offers few insights—his only suggestion being that we cut loose our moorings and bump around each other until we recognize our similarities as opposed to our differences—smacks of cursing the darkness rather than lighting a candle.


A BLUER KIND OF MOON:

(These are adult films - Reader Discretion is Hereby Advised)


Serena: An Adult Fairy Tale (1980) (1st viewing) d. Lincoln, Fred J. (USA)




 
Same Time Every Year (1981)
(1st viewing) d. Lincoln, Fred J. (USA)


2013 Totals to date: 41 films, 39 1st time views, 12 horror, 8 cinema

Dr. AC's Oscar Rundown 2013

EATERS (2011) movie review

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Eaters (2011) d. Boni, Luca / Ristori, Marco (Italy)

Approaching Eaters, it’s all too easy to fall into the “it’s just another zombie movie” fatigue style of critique, especially since on many levels, it is just another zombie movie. But the fact remains it’s a pretty darn good one and in a world full of lousy, incompetent, lazy, generic, uninspired, amateurish and forgettable gutmunching efforts, that’s enough to make me sit up and take notice.



Much of Eaters’ consistent ability to entertain has to do with the laws of compensation. Co-directors Luca Boni and Marco Ristori know that in order to maintain viewer attention with this well-traveled material, they need to keep the action moving, stakes high, characters engaging and gore running down the screen. (Ristori authored the screenplay with Germano Tarricone, while Boni handled much of the visual effects and post-production.) They deliver on all these points, providing truckloads of undead bang for the buck. There’s a robust cheapjack enthusiasm at play here that recalls some of fellow countryman Bruno Mattei’s finest hours (especially if one opts to watch the English-dubbed version as opposed to the original subtitled Italian).


The basic storyline, while never truly blossoming into defiantly original terrain, maintains a welcome level of creativity and passion. We are introduced into the post-apocalyptic world via a series of news flashbacks, reporting of a deadly new virus that has at first targeted the fertility of women, followed by the inevitable dead returning with a hunger for living flesh.


Holed up in a bunker, a mad scientist (Claudio Marmugi) continues his research for a cure, sending out two zombie hunters (Alex Lucchesi, Guglielmo Favilla) on occasion to find new striding stiffs with which to tinker.


But in this brave new world, it’s not just the shamblers one has to worry about – there are unpleasant bands of kill-crazy Neo Nazis about to keep things lively. (We never seem to learn much about them, except that they hold internal death matches to pass the time and make general nuisances of themselves with regards to our heroes.)


There’s also a mad artist who trades beer and supplies for fresh body parts to serve as still life subjects (get it?), as well as an enigmatic soul called “The Plague Spreader,” a sort of Patient Zero who apparently has lived up to his name.



The filmmakers have also gone out of their way to create engaging characters that warrant our attention and empathies. While none too deep, they are developed nicely as “types” and the actors more than fill their skins, both living and dead. Lucchesi clearly relishes his role as the macho grunt Igor and is nicely contrasted by the more sensitive but still badass Favilla as his fellow hired gun. The lovely Rosella Elmi isn’t given a lot of screen time as Favilla’s former amour, but she definitely makes the most of both her fragile, intelligent pre-infection state and a more gonzo, fevered characterization under the vicious virus’ influence. Marmugi commits wholeheartedly to his twitchy doc-gone-mad, and while a few more colors could have gone into his characterization, he serves the turn. Special guest stars include Steve Sylvester (front man for Italian metal band Death SS) and Italian porn superstar Francesco Malcolm, both of whom render small but memorable roles.


The cinematography is extremely well realized (especially considering its Canon 7D source), with an appropriately washed out color palette matching the lifeless landscape. While the digital wizards have been having their post-production way in the form of some accomplished CG backgrounds of smoking rubble, explosions, headshots and wastelands, there’s an admirable amount of practical latex effects and gore courtesy of the erstwhile team of David Bracci, Carlo Diamantini and Enrico Galli.


Time and effort has gone into the manifestation of these undead brutes – the easy street Karo syrup and food coloring route augmented by worthy latex mask work and prosthetics. The boys may have made “another low budget zombie movie,” but they’ve done themselves proud – it’s a top notch professional piece of work that shows both an appreciation of the genre and the ability to spin rotting dead gold from straw.



Eaters is “presented” by Uwe Boll, which may prove more hindrance than help given the man’s reviled standing among horror fans. In this case, it’s worth noting that he had nothing to do with the production at hand, merely serving as a distributor for what he deemed to be a worthwhile independent project. Even so, I'm one of the few who has gone on record stating that a goodly portion of Boll’s output has ranged from not-bad to pretty entertaining (Postal and Bloodrayne: The Third Reich come to mind). Yes, he’s definitely had some stinkers in his time, but for anyone who has bothered to follow his career, he’s been getting consistently better and he’s not going away anytime soon, so it might be worth checking that knee-jerk reaction, especially if it’s an ill-informed one. (Admit it – how many Boll flicks have you actually seen?) As Ristori and Boni say themselves on the behind-the-scenes featurette, Boll has been a friend to these low-budget filmmakers, lending his name and money to getting their labor of love out there. Before we all line up to throw stones based on a decade-old smear campaign, let’s take a moment to root for the little guy and maybe show some generosity toward an elder statesman trying to lend a hand.


Said featurette, a little over 30 minutes in length, is the only noteworthy special feature on Entertainment One’s recent North American DVD release (other than few teaser trailers), but it’s an enjoyable and endearing glance at the challenges faced by our Mediterranean boys and how they overcame them with molto corragio.


There’s no question that the film faces an uphill battle, what with its somewhat generic title, feeble tagline (“It’s feeding time”), double-edged Boll connection, and lack of promotional push. But as someone whose patience has been more than tested by the 21st century’s endless parade of soulless undead fodder, I assure you with the right set of expectations, Eaters earns its place on the menu.



EATERS is on sale now at Entertainment One’s website.

Runtime: 95 minutes
Format: 16x9 widescreen
Audio: 5.1 Italian Dolby Digital/2.0 English Dolby Digital
Subtitles: English

SANTO VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN (1962) movie review

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Santo vs. the Vampire Women (1962) d. Blake, Alfonso Corona (Mexico)

Yes, it’s a Mexican wrestling flick, one of the better known according to the wizards at Wikipedia, but seeing as how I’ve only seen one other Santo flick (Santo y Blue Demon Contra los Monstros), this seemed like a swell opportunity to stretch my cinematic knowledge and experience. Well, folks, I’m here to tell you these Santo films will reach right into your soul, pull that inner 10-year-old right out and sit him down on the couch next to you. This stuff is fun.


Sure, it’s plenty zany imagining a horror movie where there’s a silver-masked bare-chested wrestler tooling around town in his convertible, smashing crime and warding off supernatural menace when he’s not punching someone’s clock in the ring. But when everyone around him just accepts his presence as normal, before long so do we, which might be the zaniest thing of all. But it’s a good thing he is on hand, since this particular burg is about to be besieged by a coven of creepy crusty vampires who transform into either luscious lasses (such as high priestess Ofelia Montesco or bloodsucker queen Lorena Valezquez) or brawny bruisers who might just be wrestlers as well.


Yes, it’s bonkers, but Blake brings a lot of eerie atmosphere to the proceedings – the opening 10 minutes are kind of amazing – and the whole thing has a classic Unversal feel to it. Plus, there are several wrestling sequences to offer varying degrees of entertainment depending on your sensibilities – including one around the 60-minute mark that concludes with one of the best unmasking sequences, like, EVER. Sooooo much better than its MST3K roasting and 2.7 IMDb rating would have us believe. I might be back for more of this luchador.

BLOOD OF DRACULA’S CASTLE (1969) movie review

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Blood of Dracula’s Castle (1969) (1st viewing) d. Adamson, Al (USA)

Oh man, I had no idea I was signing on for an Adamson flick when I popped this one in based on its awesome poster art and fairly generic title. Truth be told, it’s relatively harmless; a modern vampire flick (a year before Count Yorga, Vampire) that has no great aspirations and doesn’t take itself too seriously in the process.


Basic story revolves around Count and Countess Dracula (Alexander d’Arcy and Paula Raymond, giving very plummy performances), who have re-named themselves the Townsends (in order to fit in better?) The pair have been setting up residence in the shoreline residence of Falcon Rock Castle for the past 70-odd years, kidnapping young nubile passersby and keeping them in the basement to be tapped when necessary. (For blood, you perverts. Get your minds out of the gutter.)


This lifestyle seems to be going along great for everyone, right up until hip young photographer Gene O’ Shane and his hip young model fiancée Jennifer Bishop (Mako: Jaws of Death) inherit the digs and head up to give the toothy ones, their trusty butler John Carradine and mongoloid manservant Ray Young the boot. That weekend is of course the same one that Townsend family friend and resident homicidal maniac Robert Dix (son of silver screen mainstay Richard Dix) escapes from the loony bin and beats a (very) bloody path home.


About halfway through, just to keep things lively, it also turns into a cult flick with Carradine leading several cloaked ones around for day-for-night torchlit ceremonies on breezy California hilltops. Not as painful as its 2.6 IMDb rating would have you believe, but it still probably would have been better served in November.

EVIL DEAD and V/H/S/2 pics and CHEAP THRILLS POSTER!

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I'll be posting my first official day of blogging tomorrow from South by Southwest tomorrow, but in the meantime, here's a little taste of what's coming up...

















EVIL DEAD (2013) movie review

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Evil Dead (2013) (1st viewing) d. Alvarez, Fede (USA)

I have seen the new EVIL DEAD...and it is good.


Recidivist drug user Jane Levy announces she’s kicking the habit, inviting her three amigos (Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci, Elizabeth Blackmore) and only brother Shiloh Fernandez to attend a stash-dumping ceremony and assist in her cold turkey rehab at the secluded family cabin. Unfortunately, before the night sweats barely get going, the reading of a strange volume of occult spells found in the basement invokes something into their world. Are Levy’s personal demons more than just figurative?


For a film as ferociously original as its source material was in 1981, it’s no small thing to say that director Fede Alvarez has done himself proud with his remake (or “rebirth” as he referred to it from the stage of Austin’s Paramount Theatre during its world premiere at South by Southwest Friday night). Ever since it was announced that yet another beloved modern classic would be undergoing its seemingly inevitable 21st century interpretation, expectations were huge and it’s safe to say that horror fans everywhere have been waiting with bated breath and sharpened knives to weigh in. Several considered it sacrilege; nearly all felt it unnecessary. Some were encouraged to hear that Sam Raimi, Robert Tapert and Bruce Campbell – the creators of the original film – were all on board as producers, while others were disappointed to hear that Campbell would not be reprising his signature role as Ash. It’s been an emotional ride to this moment, one that has seen the online world on fire responding to rumors of a CG-free production (what little we see isn’t off-putting, but it’s there) to early set-photos (is that Raimi’s Oldsmobile making a cameo?) to its red-band trailer fueling a spirit of overall, if cautious optimism.


But ultimately, it’s what ends up on the screen that counts and this particular horror hound is thrilled to announce that while not perfect, Alvarez’s version captures much of early 80s Raimi’s spirit while also striking out with a voice of his own. There are homages aplenty to be found, ranging from Roque Baños’ evocative score to DP Aaron Morton’s “Force-Cam,” but rarely do these feel extraneous or represent overt pandering to the assembled faithful. The practical gore is at once garish and good-natured, excessive with intent without sliding into parody. The shocks are appropriately shocking and the scares strike a fine balance between the “blast of sound as something passes the lens” jumps and genuine moments of relentless creep, with an assortment of gross-out gags to keep the juices flowing.


The performances and dialogue fall a little flat in the beginning; viewers preordained to hurl bile and invective will likely target these early scenes, and they are undeniably the weakest. The set-up invented by Alvarez and his co-writer Rodo Sayagues to gather his hapless quintet of soon-to-be-Deadites in that lonely cabin wooded is a worthy one, but we’re given very little time with these characters before the excrement starts hitting the oscillating blades. It’s an approach that both serves and weakens the narrative: on the one hand it’s a nonstop breakneck coaster ride; on the other we don’t really know and/or care about these people and are left to content ourselves with the gleeful abandon with which Sultans of Splatter Roger Murray and Jane O’Kane rend, sever, puncture and gouge their game ensemble.


If I have a complaint, and a very minor one at that, it’s that these capable actors are all so generic in their TV-ready attractiveness that they don’t really make much of an impression. Jane Levy impresses as the primary recipient of the demonic assault, but she is also given the most to do. The others do their best to look shocked, amazed and horrified as their companions’ bodies are bent and broken, but it’s when the unearthly blood is running down the screen that everyone truly shines. Their “human” performances feel almost beside the point, so thinly drawn are Murray’s future cannon fodder.


Ultimately, it’s Alvarez’s show, and he proves his skill time and again in delivering the goods. There is a forward momentum maintained from start to finish, with the director straining against the harnesses, leading his pack on their merry chase. It’s not inaccurate to say that it often feels like everyone is really trying, but it’s a unified effort less preoccupied with showboating than with telling a story that inherently lends itself to flashy set pieces. And lord a’mighty are there some doozies here. No one escapes unscathed and the pacing and parsing and piecing are superbly calibrated to deliver maximum impact. Yet the mayhem always feels high-never-mean-spirited; a major accomplishment where eviscerations and limb-lopping occur at such a rampant rate.


In the remake annals, while perhaps no instant classic like Carpenter’s The Thing or Cronenberg’s The Fly, this Evil Dead easily conjures comparisons to Zack Snyder’s worthy 2004 Dawn of the Dead or Dennis Iliadis’ surprisingly strong 2009 Last House on the Left. In maintaining a similar tone, one that never really scares but trades its gooseflesh for juicy well-timed gooses of adrenaline, it neither slavishly apes its forerunner nor flies too far astray. Kudos all around and Two Bloody Paws Up!

--Aaron “Dr. AC” Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine


Evil Dead opens wide April 5th.


V/H/S/2 (2013) movie review

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V/H/S/2 (2013) (1st viewing) d. Barrett, Eisener, Evans, Tjahjanto, Sanchez, Hale, Wingard (USA)

In the ongoing anthology sweepstakes spawned by 2011’s The Theatre Bizarre, wherein skilled independent directors pool their talents by tying individually created short films together with a central conceit, last year’s V/H/S was certainly one of the more successful examples of the realized portmanteau. Assembling a dream team of Ti West, Adam Wingard, Joe Swanberg, Glenn McQuaid and film collective Radio Silence to each create a first person POV “found footage” piece, it served as both a commentary on the subgenre as well as an opportunity for filmmakers to unite their efforts toward a common artistic – and financially rewarding – goal. (Shorts generally don’t generate income for their creators. Here they do.)



The critical and commercial success of the venture is undoubtedly what led to this second installment, this time with offerings from Wingard, frequent collaborator Simon Barrett, Jason Eisener (Hobo with a Shotgun), and the team-ups of Gareth Evans/Timo Tjahjanto and Eduardo Sanchez/Gregg Hale. Once again the found footage concept is introduced by having a professional independent dirtbag invade a private residence, only to find a bank of snowy television sets hooked up to VCRs with piles of videocassettes lying about. What to do, what to do? Let’s pop a few in and see what we see...

As before, it’s this wraparound (entitled “Tape 49”) that feels the weakest. It’s admittedly no less mannered than any of the ’70s Amicus efforts, but it still seems a bit of a stretch to buy into the notion of a person sitting there in a house – that they’ve broken into, no less – watching various short films for the better part of two hours. Wouldn’t they just, I don’t know, put the items in a bag and leave the premises? Or at least fast forward through them to get to the good parts? As a scribe, it’s Barrett who bears responsibility for both installments’ framing devices; there’s no denying that he is faced with a formidable challenge to justify the tales' unspooling, but both times have felt glossed over for convenience’s sake in order to get on with the show. Not to say there isn’t some interesting subject matter unveiled therein (more on this in a minute) – it’s just not a great bookend on a logistical level. However, the writer also takes the reins for this segment (Wingard directed the original wraparound for V/H/S) and manages to tease some genuine moments of dread and suspense at what might be lurking just out of frame.


The internal stories, numbering only four this time (perhaps due to complaints of the first go-round’s overstaying its welcome), are led by Wingard. His “Clinical Trials” is a fun little bit of tech horror, with a young man (played by the director himself) receiving a camera eye to offset his recent blindness. He’s warned that there may be a few “glitches”; no surprise, there are, in the form of seeing things that may or may not be there. The manifold jump scares, however, excessively padded by aural screeching, prove as annoying as discomfiting – not an entirely successful trade-off. Hannah Hughes co-stars and we thank her for her womanly contributions. Yes, we do.


Our first double trouble threat saddles up with Blair Witch Project cohorts Sanchez and Hale’s outing, “A Ride in the Park” where a wannabe extreme bicycle trail rider straps a camera on his helmet and wheels to capture the experience of his morning jaunt. Of course, when he encounters a zombie horde, things take an unexpected twist. There are several welcome moments of humor in this chapter, provided by Jamie Nash’s nimble script and the longtime team’s clever balance of horror and dark whimsy.


Evans and Tjahjanto then unveil the collection’s most unhinged installment, “Safe Haven.” A team of undercover investigators armed with spy cameras on their clothing and headgear attempt to infiltrate a cult leader’s compound, suspecting him of human trafficking and abuse of minors. The truth turns out to be much more bizarre and sinister. Evans, whose showstopping knack for thrills was well-evidenced by last year’s The Raid: Redemption, is matched by his counterpart’s sense for dark foreboding and claustrophobic mood. The result resembles the best Takashi Miike lark he never made.

Things wrap up with Jason Eisener’s “Alien Abduction Slumber Party,” which is exactly what it sounds like – wacky hijinks, water balloon fights, and adolescent practical jokes interrupted by a band of big-eyed spindly limbed interlopers. It’s an uneven segment, at times evocative and effective, but the dramatic tension slips away just as often as the victims do - the interstellar beasties constantly seem right atop our underage victims, only to turn around and have their quarry be free again. It’s a curious device that never really works; ditto Eisener’s first “person” POV vehicle (you’ll see what I mean). However, the spaceship’s unearthly ear-shattering foghorn bellow packs quite the wallop, especially with the cinema speakers cranked high.


Like its predecessor, V/H/S/2 is a fairly entertaining outing, one that shoulders the common complaints of any compendium: some segments are stronger than others and the wraparound is a little flimsy. With this recent spate of short film collectives showing some legs, perhaps more emphasis should be placed on these consistently problematic elements. After all, it’s nice that the short subject is finding its way into the mainstream once again, but this necessitates a little more quality control in presentation. The first installment was a grand casual experiment, with the second attempting to franchise an ostensible one-off. If a third chapter is under consideration, the gauntlet has been tossed for its makers to crystallize what it is and what they want it to be.

NOTE: It’s worth mentioning that during the Q&A session following Friday night’s SXSW screening, I brought up the concern that many online fans have voiced regarding the incongruity for much of this found footage content ending up on videocassette in the first place. Who records to VHS anymore? The answer, so ambiguous in the films themselves (almost sloppily and/or pretentiously so), is actually an intriguing one. As Barrett explained, by reducing the footage to an analog state, the chances of it being uploaded and distributed via the internet are greatly reduced. This makes the physical item, i.e. the videocassette itself, a more significant element; it becomes the only means by which the footage can be viewed. One must possess the tape in the first place in order to see it and then perhaps share it. (Shades of Ringu.) The notion of these “collectors” – whose mysterious booty we encounter in both films’ wraparounds – is truly captivating. But by the filmmakers painting it in such vague terms, the viewer is more likely to label this an improperly thought out plot device than evidence of a clever, mysterious and insidious internal society.


The second conceit that Barrett illuminated onstage was exploring the imagined effects of the magnetic tape used in the medium on the human body. Recall if you will that the 3/4” videotape is indeed magnetic and therefore could potentially exercise some power over our physical beings. Another clever notion, one explored in very cryptic terms for the finely tuned ear in this second installment, but again, you really have to be listening for it.

One wishes that both of these clear and specific plot points would have been highlighted (even a little) to clue us in that we were in thoughtful hands as opposed to slipshod ones. The fact that producer Brad Miska had originally conceived this concept as a television program absolutely lends itself better to the slow unraveling of the mystery of the videotapes. (Think X-Files and its ever-deepening mythology.) But within a feature film, one expects to be given salient information to draw conclusions – as Wingard himself put it, “You would have had to be psychic to pick up the clues from the first one.” For me, this violates the viewer/creator contract of Cinema 101, especially for a genre anthology. Apparently at one point, there was more exposition provided, but later excised for being too “talky and boring.” Unfortunately, by gaining themselves a few extra seconds, they’ve also given us the impression of arbitrary decision making as opposed to a genuinely intriguing, intelligently executed overarching narrative.


With this information gleaned from a happenstance Q&A session, I now like the film(s) much more. Had their creators not been there to personally account for it, or had I lacked the courage to ask such a brazen query, I would have liked it much less. This is your audience, gentlemen – a paying audience, at that. Your move.

--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

THE LORDS OF SALEM (2013) movie review

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Lords of Salem, The (2012) (1st viewing) d. Zombie, Rob (USA)

Heidi Hawthorne (Sheri Moon Zombie), one third of a local late night heavy rock radio DJ triptych, receives an unsolicited wooden box containing a mysterious vinyl record. Believing it to be some independent artists’ novel attempt at promotion, Heidi and her cohorts (played by Ken Foree and Jeff Daniel Phillips) give “The Lords” disc an on-air spin, unwittingly releasing dark forces that slowly, inexorably descend upon our fair protagonist. Roused by the 33 1/3 chant, the spirits of a coven of executed Salem witches – aided by a trio of weird sisters (Patricia Quinn, Dee Wallace, Judy Geeson) – vie for Heidi’s soul, while an aging novelist (Bruce Davison) attempts to halt the onslaught.



Is there a more divisive modern horror director than Rob Zombie? Even among his passionate following, the man has generated more heated discussions at horror conventions and online destinations than any other major player working in the industry today. From his Firefly family companion pieces House of 1000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects to his pair of Halloween reboots to 2009’s rambunctiously immature animated feature The Haunted World of Superbeasto, this is an artist who – regardless of individual opinions on the films in question – has resolutely refused to make the same movie twice...or even in the same universe. The result has been a body of work difficult to pin down; one that consistently challenges a fanbase that often embraces the comfort of familiarity. (Hello, franchise lovers.)


Well, prepare for another uprising. Zombie’s latest effort, The Lords of Salem, will once again split the dogged faithful, avoiding connections to his previous works (despite several recurring motifs) while aping other established horror tropes and styles (heavy on the Eurohorror and paranoiac devil worshiping flicks of the early ’70s). There are no guarantees as to who will respond and how, because the director continues his established M.O. of making pictures according to his personal sensibilities and no one else’s. In fact, Zombie revealed during last night’s U.S. premiere at South by Southwest that the deal with his financiers was that as long as he brought the completed project in under an agreed-upon budget, he could do anything he wanted. Anything. He. Wanted.


The result, unfortunately, is a picture that will satisfy no one completely – including its creator, who perplexingly proceeded to write an ambitious screenplay that exceeded his established coffers. For every inspired moment there is another that kills the buzz, with tonal shifts and nightmare visuals ranging from the haunting to the ridiculous. (It was presumably not Zombie’s intention to induce howls of laughter during a Ken Russell fever-dream climax, but when you trot out a midget wearing a wrinkly nude latex body suit, that’s what you get.) Throughout, I found myself metaphorically clapping with one hand against another clenched into a frustrated shaking fist; the wildly cacophonic score by longtime Zombie guitarist John 5, Brandon Trost’s moody cinematography and insane production design by Jennifer Spence and Lori Mazuer all deserve better than this muted applause, but they are ill served by their master’s wild abandon and penchant for including every unfiltered whim.


The white trash F-bombathon spewfests that have constituted the writer/director’s stock-in-trade are thankfully absent here, but the characters are just as thinly drawn and the dialogue as clunky. (Seeing as how this has been a consistent complaint for his entire canon, one can only wonder when the hint will be heeded and a co-writer sought.)


Even given their unwieldy assignments, the performances are universally strong: As revived witch Margaret Morgan, Meg Foster is a standout and Geeson, whose whining presence in innumerable ’70s genre efforts never failed to grate on this writer’s last nerve, dials it down to deliver a wickedly sly antagonistic turn. Davison and Phillips are pleasing and pleasingly ineffectual in their attempts to aid the forces of good (another common element), while Sherri Moon Zombie delivers a surprisingly appealing central turn. Even the haters will find little with which to take issue – it’s unfortunate that her spouse/director gives her little to do in the latter half than blankly stare, drool and flash her bare bottom because, prior to that, her Heidi is an engaging and empathetic construct. (For what it's worth, Sid Haig and Michael Berryman also pop up in blink-n'-miss-'em cameos.)


As with his 2009 Halloween sequel (which bummed me out more than overtly offending), there is no denying the man knows how to conjure a discomfiting atmosphere of dread or stunning visual – it’s his skill as a cohesive dramatic narrator that continues to be called into question. Classic vintage filmmakers such as The Three Roberts (Wise, Aldrich, Altman) often elicited the question, “Is there nothing they can’t do” with their adroit handling of varied genres and mood. With Zombie, the opposite question is raised – is he capable of producing a wholly successful feature? Within the pictures themselves, disparate elements are constantly jockeying for position, clawing open tonal ground set by the moment before.


While his all-over-the-map approach is intriguing and he continues to grow within the medium, he has yet to produce a single truly great cohesive effort. Likewise, by following his heart, he continues to frustrate and alienate – even among rabid devotees, there is no one I’ve met who loves his entire CV. I find this fascinating; here is an uncompromising artist often admired more than and occasionally in spite of his art. Even with serious issues regarding each of his films, I (along with countless others) continue to root for him even as he fails to deliver the goods over and over.


What witchcraft is this indeed…

MILO (2013) movie review

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Milo (2013) (1st viewing) d. Vaughn, Jacob (USA)

For a movie whose synopsis more or less boils down to “carnivorous demon living in our protagonist’s lower digestive tract escapes from backside in search of fresh meat,” there’s an incredible sense of sweetness and gentle humor amidst the slapstick and the scatological. Ken Marino is delightful as the owner of the unwanted titular intestinal tenant, struggling to avoid stressful scenarios for fear of prompting a bout of explosive (and lethal) demonic expulsion; he carries off the potentially cartoony premise with a surprisingly grounded and relatable performance.


Marino’s interactions with his understandably confused perimeter of supporting characters are where the gold really lies; whether it be with sympathetic bride Gillian Jacobs, callous mum Mary Kay Place, absent dad Stephen Root, ruthless boss Patrick Warburton or frenzied therapist Peter Stormare, Vaughn and his trusty co-writer Benjamin Hayes mine a winning blend of slapstick and zany zippy dialogue.

But the real star, one that at various times evokes Chucky, E.T., Basket Case’s Belial and Minya (aka Son of Godzilla), is Mike Ezell’s fantastic practical eponymous creation brought to life by FX coordinator Josh Hakian (with messy aftermath courtesy of Justin Raleigh).

A surprise treat, a big squishy turd monster movie with a rom-com heart.



--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

HAUNTER (2013) movie review

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Haunter (2013) (1st viewing) d. Natali, Vincenzo (Canada)

When surly teen Abigail Breslin starts rebelling against her parents, it proves to be a literally timeless story as director Natali and screenwriter Brian King turn the ghost story on its head, showing us life on the other side of the spooking glass. Trapped in a same-day endless loop, this is the haunted house version of Source Code, with Breslin slowly discovering her lot in the afterlife and trying to “wake up” her other family members to the same.



But King goes one step further; not only are inhabitants of the corporeal world terrifying to the undead, there are sinister forces that can menace spirits even beyond the mortal coil...especially when said sinister force is played by Stephen McHattie. The creepy Canuck extraordinaire, whose presence no special effect could ever match, exudes a chilling aura with his every onscreen moment. Breslin does serviceable work, although she’s a little shakier when it comes to the emotional scenes (the same could be said of most of her fellow ensemble members – high drama is not these kids’ forte).

In the final equation, there are fewer frights than one might prefer and the climax resolves itself with a pronounced convenience. (My friend and I turned to each other and said, “That was all it took?”) Just the same, there are enough novel notions and freaky reveals to satisfy most viewers’ phantasmagorical jones.

PLUS ONE (2013) movie review

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Plus One (2013) (1st viewing) d. Iliadis, Dennis (USA)

A renegade meteorite lands on Earth, its impact initiating a jarring schism in the time/space continuum such that the populace of a small community find themselves witnessing dopplegangers from 40 minutes prior, going through the same actions and interactions they’ve just experienced. The hitch is that these twins are just as human and confused to be facing off with their “elder” counterparts, unease leading to terror leading to panic-fueled violence.



Thrilling and rich sci-fi/horror material on paper. Unfortunately Plus One is one of those prime examples where a truly exciting high concept idea withers without an equally strong fleshing out. As tempting as it is to lay the blame at screenwriter Bill Gullo’s feet, it is Iliadis who trips up his own original story by focusing on a group of party-hearty teens as thinly drawn as they are predictably obnoxious. In a scenario where identification is key, none of our callow adolescents have anything interesting to say, feel or do, the sole highlight being the occasional glimpse of skin (most prominently displayed by Natalie Hall). When the most compelling relationship exists not between separate individuals, but with two halves of the same person, it’s an interesting commentary but not interesting enough.



The inevitable finale has some exceptionally memorable moments as the two time-split factions collide, but they arrived too little too late, with the bitter aftertaste of missed opportunity burning sour in my throat. What could have been a classic is merely a curiosity, although younger and/or less discriminating viewers might find more to enjoy.

VAMP U (2013) movie review

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Vamp U (2013) (1st viewing) d. Jesperson, Matt / Nelson, Maclain (USA)

Don’t let the generic title (a considerable improvement over original moniker Dr. Limptooth) and poster art scare you off; this modest horror/comedy boasts bountiful bloodsucking rewards to be reaped.

When a bout of unbridled passion with lady love Julie Gonzalo leads to a fatal hickey, undead Adam Johnson swears off his vampy ways for centuries, now existing as a mild mannered, well-liked college professor. This arrangement works out fine, aided by the occasional therapy session with dubious doc Gary Cole, until Gonzalo reappears on campus as a new student. Is she resurrected, reincarnated or something else? Either way, her presence stokes (or perhaps Stokers) Johnson’s bloodlust back to full flower, leading to afterschool specials of the hot and hungry kind.



Thanks to their appealing cast’s slyly underplayed performances, co-writers/directors Jesperson and Nelson mine legitimate belly laughs from familiar fangboy terrain. The running gags (Wayne Gretzky, anyone?) are rarely pushed, allowing them to gain momentum on their own, with humor more grounded in character and situation than wacky hijinks...even within the goofier “slap-stake” sequences. Johnson and Gonzalo prove lively paramours, their supernatural situation escalating beyond mere inappropriate student/teacher relations.


Nelson also tenders solid work in front of the camera, nursing a decades-long crush on his childhood companion turned comely co-ed, and is well matched by loveably lunky pal Matt Mattson. Meanwhile, vamp-curious Cole is a riot, constantly inviting opportunities for Johnson to give a little nibble.


Despite near-incompletes in the flesh and blood departments, this is one indie treat that deserves a spot on horror fans’ class schedules. Available now on DVD and VOD.

--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

SNAP (2013) movie review

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Snap (2013) (1st viewing) d. Delara, Youseff / Teran, Victor (USA)

Mentally unstable but musically adept Jake Hoffman shields himself from the outside world, interacting only through his downloadable dub-step dance tracks. Yet there is no reprieve from sinister alter-ego Thomas Dekker who antagonizes and belittles his every move, especially when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex. Upon visiting former therapist Scott Bakula, Hoffman meets the friendly and attractive Nikki Reed, a chance encounter that leads to a dangerous two-way obsession for both.



This not-so-thrilling psychological thriller dances around similar cinematic terrain as Fight Club, Clean Shaven and Spiral, minus its forerunners’ original voices. While a capable performer, Hoffman lacks the live-wire charisma of an Edward Norton or Peter Greene, his inner demon struggles coming off as more than a little rote. The idea of pairing the dizzying electronica tracks with a sociopath’s misfiring synapses is an interesting one, but even though Reza Safinia’s soundtrack pulses and pounds on a visceral level, not enough is done with the concept proper. Similarly, society’s views of the mentally ill are given gratuitous lip service, lifting the lid of a worthy examination but dropping shut shy of engaging beyond the surface.

But Snap’s biggest stumbles lie in co-director Teran’s dialogue and plotline, riddled with scores of clichés from superior efforts and plot twists so obvious they can’t really be considered twists (experienced viewers will see them coming from the opening frames). The earnest cast does their best to wring juice from this well-chewed material, with Reed evoking shades of a young Brooke Adams and Bakula doing his best well-meaning schlub while lending elder statesman gravitas. (By contrast, Jason Priestley cashes a quick paycheck for growing an Aidan Quinn-like beard to play a superfluous psychiatric figure.)

Thankfully for genre fans, things ultimately manage to get a little wet, but even the violent climax feels more calculated than inspired, providing little if any insight into a legitimately disturbed mind. One gets the impression that Teran and Delara’s hearts are in the right place, seeking to prompt a discussion whilst providing a few pulse pounding moments. Unfortunately, when the lights come up, the conversation is more likely to turn to topics of “missed opportunities” and “seen it before.” An impressively polished effort to be sure, but an overly self-conscious one that never finds its own voice or beat.

http://youtu.be/y6QLVg3KII0


CHEAP THRILLS (2013) movie review

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Cheap Thrills (2013) (1st viewing) d. Katz, E.L. (USA)

Struggling schmoe Pat Healy can’t seem to catch a break. The same day an eviction notice shows up on his crummy apartment’s door, he is let go from his grease monkey job at the local auto lube pit. Oh, and did I mention the crying baby with Amanda Fuller at home? Drowning sorrow in a well-earned glass of brew, he runs into childhood buddy-turned-legbreaker Ethan Embry; while catching up on old times and cursing the new, the mismatched pair is joined by rich mystery couple David Koechner and Sara Paxton. Games of derring do and straight-up foolishness are slyly introduced into the proceedings...with the almighty dollar the stick-end carrot leading the asses to the slaughter.



Working from a superb script co-authored by Trent Haaga and David Chirchirillo, this is sharp, simple storytelling at its finest, allowing top flight actors full rein to suck out every juicy celluloid morsel. As the ever-escalating game of “I dare you” plays out, alliances ebb and flow as mettle, stamina, ethics and stomachs are tested for the ridiculously affluent’s viewing pleasure. Yet within all this degradation, things are disarmingly, screamingly funny, and it is here that the alchemy is truly achieved. By inexorably reducing Embry and Healy to a travelling two-man geek show, willing to do anything to win the prizes and favor of their hosts, Katz introduces some stinging social commentary without grandstanding, the type that sticks to the ribs and gray matter for days and weeks. What would you do for money? What wouldn’t you do? And how much money are we talking about…?


As our sad sack protagonist, Healy is riveting—agonizing over each denigrating act but swallowing pride and self-respect to free himself from his current debt-ridden station. Embry, a tightly coiled bundle of muscles and fury, allows glimpses of insecurity and need for approval to peek from beneath his tough guy exterior. Paxton, so wonderfully goofy in The Innkeepers, shatters that loveable image, fully inhabiting the quintessential bored young trophy wife inured to all but the most garish freakshows.


And then there is legendary character man Koechner, who starts off playing his time-honored gregarious card—one that has served him faithfully in Hollywood for nearly two decades—and twists it into a monstrous beacon of inhumanity by way of the bank balance. Known primarily for comedic roles, this is a showcase of the highest order and Koechner never misses a beat; at once chummy and terrifying, he’s so good that the fact that he doesn’t run away with the film is a compliment of the highest order to his able castmates.


Following its world premiere at South by Southwest 2013, Thrills was immediately snatched up for distribution by Drafthouse Films and should be making its way to a well-deserved wider audience sooner than later. Katz and his crew go deep and dark into the abyss while we watch from the cliff’s lip, appalled but eternally fascinated. Awful things occur onscreen for our benefit, but never descend into the cartoonish, a testament to the high-wire restraint exhibited by all concerned. Highly recommended.

--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

HOLY GHOST PEOPLE (2013) movie review

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Holy Ghost People
(2013)
(1st viewing) d. Altieri, Mitchell (USA)

Troubled small town gal Emma Greenwell recruits alcoholic ex-Marine Brendan McCarthy to help track down her missing sister, whom she fears has been indoctrinated into a mountain-dwelling religious cult. The two attempt to infiltrate the snake-handling order by posing as father and daughter, but charismatic leader Joe Egender and flunkies Laurence Harvey and James Lowe have their suspicions and don’t seem too willing to let the pair into the fold...or out of the camp.



Altieri has been kicking around for several years, though his name might be less familiar than the handle he adopted with Phil Flores: The Butcher Brothers. Over the past half-dozen years, the duo have banged out several well-received genre efforts, including The Hamiltons, The Violent Kind, The Thompsons, and the less-well-received April Fool’s Day remake (but we can blame that one on studio interference). For his solo directing effort, Altieri teams up with Flores, frequent onscreen collaborator Egender and producer Kevin Artigue to pen a slow-burn thriller that takes its inspiration from Peter Adair’s 1967 documentary about a West Virginia Pentecostal church (brief snippets of which are scattered throughout the film).


The result is a moody, dark and atmospheric examination of alternative faiths and lifestyles, one that surprisingly does not paint the sequestered community as a bunch of Bible-blinkered loonies. (Well, not right away at least.) As with 2011’s Martha Marcy May Marlene, the commune at first seems to be a fully functional assembly, and while we might judge them as “weird” or “other,” they don’t really seem to be invested in harming themselves or others. It’s almost unfortunate that the screenwriters feel inclined to turn up the mustache twirling in the third act, revealing homicidal tendencies lurking beneath the members’ holy visages—the ambiguity is actually a lot more interesting. Once cats are out of the carry-on, we move into familiar suspense territory where it’s standard brave heroes against the baddies programming, with several sequences requiring serious viewer suspension of belief. Things get undeniably loopy in the final lap, but it doesn’t completely undo the good work that has gone before.


Like previous Butcher efforts, Altieri has assembled a group of performers that find interesting shades to their characterizations, even if a few never feel entirely realized. Egender and McCarthy prove intelligent and worthy foils, each studying the other for signs of deception or duplicity, two alpha males with very different M.O.’s. Greenwell is a bit of a cipher; her performance recalls that of a punished animal attempting to sneak back into the kitchen for another ill-advised snack—weakness driven by overwhelming desire. It’s not an uninteresting approach, but her incessant need for McCarthy as backup leaves her stranded in “weak female” terra. Harvey lends the same thick-lipped, evil-eye menace he’s been serving up since Brian De Palma’s Casualties of War, though Lowe’s resident simpleton feels too mannered to be genuine. As congregation members straddling the lines of loyalty, Roger Aaron Brown and Cameron Richardson are also worthy of praise.


Holy Ghost People skirts outright horror, though genre fans should appreciate the impressive aura of dread conjured by the rustic setting and clear-eyed religious fanaticism. There’s a bit of CGI splatter, but real reptiles and a nasty practical festering wound go a ways toward balancing the scales. Overall it’s a bit of a mixed bag, but it works more often than not and shows consistent improvement on the part of its makers.

--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

KISS OF THE DAMNED (2012) movie review

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Kiss of the Damned (2012) (1st viewing) d. Cassavetes, Xan (USA)

Stymied screenwriter Milo Ventimiglia hooks up with sultry ginger Josephine de La Baume one night, only to discover that she’s a bit older than she looks—like, a lot older and looking g-o-o-d. Being the considerate sort, she doesn’t want things to get all hot n’ heavy too soon, knowing her proclivities for toothy shenanigans, but her latest paramour is up for anything.



Blood and juices are soon flowing and it seems like the beginning of a long-term relationship (heavy on the long). Unfortunately, there’s sassy sis Roxane Mesquida to contend with, and as concerned as de la Baume is with keeping things undercover, her brunette sibling is a hungry wild animal untamed.


Imagine a modern day Jean Rollin vampire film without the subtitles or questionable dubbing and you’ve pretty much nailed the vibe of writer/director Cassavetes’ debut narrative. (As a member of one of America’s more prestigious movie families, she’s been around the medium her entire life, and helmed the outstanding Z Channel documentary in 2004.) There’s ample flesh and blood on display, but as with the best horror efforts, there are also pointy ideas that stick in the mind and soul—questions regarding loyalty, life, love, pain, jealousy and the human condition when stretched out to eternity.


The superb balancing act between the mature and the sensational is what keeps the complimentary comparisons to Rollin, Hammer and other worthy Euro-horror classics coming; it’s to these bloodsucking brethren what Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was to scores of Hong Kong wire-fu classics. Cassavetes filters the essence of these sensual 70s adult fright flicks through modern American sensibilities, the result being an accessible yet faithful recreation that should find favor with both camps, as well as converting a few newbies ready to graduate beyond the Twilight films.



--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

YOU'RE NEXT (2011) movie review

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You're Next (2011) (1st viewing) d. Wingard, Adam (USA)

I’m sure 90% of the folks who strolled into that SXSW midnight screening had the same thought on their mind: “Please let this be worth the wait.” Following its buzztastic September debut at the Toronto International Film Festival followed by an equally enthusiastic bow at Austin’s Fantastic Fest two weeks later, You’re Next has been THE film on horror fans’ wish lists for what seems like ages. Lionsgate promptly scooped it up for distribution…and then proceeded to quietly sit on it for over a year, parceling it out to a few select festivals before finally announcing its big screen bow to take place in August of 2013. How can any scrappy little indie flick, especially one that lives solidly in the “home invasion” subgenre (didn’t they know that was yesterday’s news?), hold up to such immense hype?

By being pretty f**king awesome, that’s how.



Barbara Crampton (welcome back, doll!) and Rob Moran are a proud mater/pater team celebrating their wedding anniversary by staging a low-key but long overdue reunion with their four adult children at their sumptuous upscale (and isolated) country home. The three boys (Joe Swanberg, A.J. Bowen and Nicholas Tucci) clearly have a few pecking order issues, while lone female offspring Amy Siemetz just wants to spread love and happiness with her struggling filmmaker beau Ti West (Yes, as in the House of the Devil director). Each of the lads also has a consenting adult partner, the most striking of which is Bowen’s companion, played by Australian lovely Sharni Vinson. Of course, all of them remain unaware of the fact that a double murder has taken place the night before within the little wooded cottage down the way. But they will become all too acquainted with the masked menace that waits outside the window, and in the most explosive of ways.


Up to this point, director Wingard (Pop Skull, A Horrible Way to Die) has made interesting films that never cleared the ballpark fences, utilizing a free-floating handheld aesthetic resembling a cross between jogger-cam and drunken sorority girl’s iPhone. But in shedding the arty posturing intended to conceal paltry budgets, he proves a nimble manipulator of emotions and nerves, constructing outstanding build-ups of tension that ignite like napalm. It’s a welcome wonder to behold. This isn’t to say that Wingard has lost his personality and is solely focused on delivering mainstream thrills—his repeated use of a lost 80s pop song draws worthy comparisons to Tarantino’s appropriation of “Stuck in the Middle with You” for Reservoir Dogs.


The cast is flawless, from the family members listed above to indie kingpin Larry Fessenden’s pre-credits cameo, and screenwriter Simon Barrett provides lovely dysfunctional chatter before unleashing the various terrifying vignettes that whittle down our warm body count. No spoilers here, but Vinson makes the most of her screen time and don’t be surprised if this Aussie powerhouse doesn’t become a household name in the next couple years. She’s that good.


For those wondering, there is a decent amount of splatter on display, with a knockout closing sequence that immediately had me wondering—after I’d finished cheering aloud—why we’d never seen that particular method of dispatch before. It’ll be interesting to see if the edit unspooled before the SXSW crowd is the one that will play theatrically, but in retrospect, I can’t see them needing to cut much (if anything). Happy days are here again in terms of what the MPAA will stand.


In the spirit of full disclosure, You’re Next is as good as you’ve heard…on the first viewing. Loving it as much as I did, I opted to revisit it toward the end of the festival and, for better or worse, due to the plot machinations and minus the surprise factor, it’s less revelatory feature than it might originally appear. Not to say it wasn’t enjoyable, but much like a haunted house loses its mystique once traveled, the law of diminishing returns is definitely in evidence here. However, when this is the worst that can be said about a cinematic rollercoaster ride this proficient, that’s saying something indeed.

Highly recommended.



--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

BIG ASS SPIDER! (2013) movie review

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Big Ass Spider! (2013) (1st viewing) d. Mendez, Mike (USA)

One could argue that any giant spider flick (with an exclamation point in its title, for crying out loud) ought to exist outside a world of conventional criticism. Clearly, expectations are set pretty low, suspension of disbelief is double-stuffed at the door, and all cinematic standards regarding such commonplace elements as acting, directing, cinematography, dialogue, etc. should be lowered accordingly. Why even bother putting digits to keyboard, when those who want oversized arachnids invading their retinas will be thrilled if the thing has five legs and a thorax, while more “discriminating” viewers will never venture near the marquee (video shelf, Netflix subsection, etc.) anyway?


Because despite the uninitiated’s beliefs to the contrary, all big bug flicks are not created equal and as a card-carrying Ambassador of Horror, it’s my self-appointed duty to separate the Tarantulas from the sloppy also-rans.


So it was that upon seeing BAS! pop up on the SXSW Midnighter schedule, I resigned myself to sucking it up, sitting down, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. The happy news is that while its CG creature effects immediately draw comparisons to the current spate of SyFy and Asylum lowbrow crimes against humanity, director Mendez and his adventurous band have set their sights much, much higher and it shows. While their droll comic approach is certainly the safer avenue in these ironic times (as opposed to taking the fantastic situation dead-faced serious), the fact that they actually know how to do comedy buys a whole lotta goodwill.


The set-up is fairly simple: Cocksure exterminator Greg Grunberg gets nipped by an eight-legged friend and heads to the emergency room. While there, he becomes embroiled in a military science experiment gone poophouse, one involving an arachnid that “QUAD-ruples” (a la the convoluted dialect of brainiac Patrick Bauchau) in size every few hours. Looking to impress the sweet, sexy, sassy special forces stunner Clare Kramer, Grunberg teams up with heavily accented Mexican security guard Lombardo Boyar to combat the web-spinning, acid-spitting exoskeletoned menace. Amusing banter and pinscher-stabbing ensues, the former as legitimately funny as the latter is surprising in its enthusiastic body count.


While I concede that some of the CGI is less than awe-inspiring, special effects producer Asif Iqbal doesn’t hide his creation or resort to recycled sequencing where we see the same shot repeatedly used ad infinitum. (Hello, MegaPython vs. Gatoroid or any number of recent cheapie creature features.) Instead, for much of the latter half his carnivorous beastie is front and center, vaulting, spearing, gobbling and earning its titular antagonist billing big-time. What it lacks in detailed rendering is made up for with sheer ferocity and energetic presence. Mendez & Co. deliver the creepy crawly goods while screenwriter Gregory Gerias nimbly constructs characters that ably support the mayhem. (The always welcome Ray Wise once again proves himself a national treasure as the square-jawed no-nonsense military man with a heart of gold. Love that guy.)


In conclusion, one can see why the SXSW programmers felt this high spirited rampage romp deserved a place on their 2013 slate. While no cult classic in the making, it’s more beer n’ pizza fun than it probably has any right to be; in the annals of supersized spider cinema, that’s more than enough.

--Aaron Christensen, HorrorHound Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSlNiSEWqwQ

 
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